Written by: Sallie Wagner, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We’ve likely all heard the adage that we should endeavor to learn something new each day. However, is that really the best advice to help us move forward in life?
Maybe not.
My experience is that, in many instances, it’s not what you don’t know that holds you back, it’s what you do know, that’s not true, that holds you back.
So many times, the solution to our challenges in life is not to learn something new, it’s not to learn what we don’t know. The solution is to un-learn what we know, that’s not true.
Here’s an example of something I used to know, that’s not true: I have to be perfect. Anybody else have that one?
Clearly, it’s not true, but I used to know it. And it held me back from so many things in life. Because if I believe that I have to be perfect, and I know I’m not going to be perfect at something, then I just won’t do it.
You see how “knowing” something that’s not true can hold us back?
What do you “know,” that’s not true, that’s holding you back?
And why do we “know” things that are not true?
It’s because of programming, paradigms. Mind Apps. Like on your phone. We have bundles of thoughts, feelings, beliefs about ourselves and the world that get triggered under certain circumstances, and suddenly we’re running on auto-pilot. We revert to our default setting. We abdicate the power of conscious choice over our lives. And we accept and believe things that are not true.
And the consequence of that is, those thoughts, feelings, beliefs determine the actions we take in life, which, in turn, determine the results we get in life.
So, for example, if we have a Mind App for perfectionism, then we’re likely not going to do things that we’re not good at. If we have a Mind App that tells us we’re too old, or too young, for certain things, then we’re likely not going to do those things.
You see how the things we know, the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, make such a difference.
They either move you forward, or hold you back, depending on what you tell yourself about yourself.
Henry Ford was right is some regard – whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.
And sadly, when we look a bit more closely, it’s not even a matter of whether we think we can or think we can’t. The truth is, when we think we can’t, we won’t.
As was the case in my experience with the perfectionism Mind App. I didn’t even try to do certain things because I believed I wouldn’t be good at them. And I missed out on so many things.
How much of life are you missing out on because of things you believe that are not true?
More importantly, what can we do to un-learn those things that are not true? How can we uninstall those Mind Apps?
It’s actually pretty simple, although it may not be easy!
Here are three simple steps to get you started.
The first step is to pay attention.
Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, beliefs about yourself, about others, about life in general.
Pay attention to what you’re telling yourself about yourself.
Are you telling yourself you can’t do certain things, or you can only do certain other things, because:
you’re too ____, and you fill in the blank
you’re not enough ____, and you fill in the blank again
you’re a member of a particular group, or not a member of a different group
you’re living out the expectations of family, friends, and society
this is how you’re “supposed” to be
Now that you’re paying attention to what you’re telling yourself about yourself, you’re ready for the second step.
The second step is to ask yourself whether you believe those things you’re telling yourself because they’re truly true, or whether you believe them because somebody told you that they’re true.
For example, is it really true that you can’t do a particular thing, or you can only do certain other things, because:
you’re too old, too young, too fat, too thin . . .
you’re not old enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not rich enough . . .
you’re a member of a particular group, or not a member of a different group
you’re living out the expectations of family, friends, society
this is how you’re “supposed” to be
Now that you’ve discerned whether those things you’re telling yourself are truly true, you’re ready for the third step.
The third step is to decide that you’re going to tell yourself a different story about yourself. Decide on new thoughts, feelings, beliefs that have more utility for you. Thoughts, feelings, beliefs that move you in the direction you choose for your life.
As you continue to pay attention to those things you’re telling yourself about yourself, you can replace the old Mind Apps with the new Mind Apps that you consciously choose for your life.
And you’re on you way to un-learning something new every day!
Sallie Wagner, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sallie Wagner – speaker, author, lawyer, real estate broker, What’s Next Strategist, and Life Alchemist! Sallie employs Emotional Freedom Techniques, evolved Neurolinguistic Programming, and trauma-aware modalities, so clients launch into action for rapid, concrete results, as they ditch unwanted habits, behaviors, fears, phobias, limiting beliefs, and decisions.
Sallie spent the majority of her law career in the corporate world. In addition to her other business initiatives, she currently provides broker and contracts compliance services to real estate brokerages throughout Florida. She also owns and operates a real estate school.
