Zaira Armendariz is a passionate advocate for mental health and well-being. She earned her master's degree in Positive Psychology from Arizona State University and certifications in Resilience Coaching and Personal Training. She also is the host of her own wellness podcast called Complex, Like Wine.
Life is a constant ebb and flow of experiences, some uplifting and some challenging. The way we perceive these experiences determines not only our emotional responses but also our ability to self-regulate and navigate adversity. A mindset rooted in self-awareness, optimism, and mindfulness can help transform obstacles into opportunities, allowing us to cultivate resilience and personal growth. The key to this lies in understanding the power of perspective and mastering our own inner narrative.
The tale of two wolves: A lesson in self-awareness
My favorite metaphor is an old Cherokee story that beautifully illustrates the significance of mindset and autonomy. A grandfather explains to his grandson that inside each of us, two wolves are in a constant battle. One represents negativity, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, and self-doubt. The other embodies positivity, joy, peace, love, hope, and resilience. The grandson asks, “Which wolf wins?” The grandfather simply responds, “The one you feed.”
“The one you feed.” This is a powerful statement that highlights the power of self-awareness and the control we have over how we choose to show up each day. When we recognize our thought patterns and emotional reactions, we gain the ability to shift old habits and redirect our focus. Instead of allowing negativity to consume us, we can consciously decide to invest in a mindset that fosters growth, gratitude, and optimism.
Mindfulness: The gateway to self-regulation
Mindfulness, a practice deeply rooted in positive psychology, enhances self-awareness and emotional regulation. It teaches us to observe our thoughts without judgment, giving us the space to first become aware of our emotions and thoughts and, second, to intentionally choose our responses rather than react impulsively. Through mindfulness, we can cultivate presence, an essential skill that helps us navigate life’s adversities with clarity and resilience.
Practicing mindfulness can be as simple as taking a few deep breaths before responding to a stressful situation, journaling our thoughts to gain clarity, or engaging in meditation to cultivate inner peace. These small yet powerful habits build self-regulation, allowing us to create more productive thoughts and actions.
The power of perspective: Glass half full or empty?
How we interpret life events dictates our emotional and behavioral responses. Consider two individuals facing the same challenge; one sees it as a failure, and the other sees it as an opportunity to learn and grow. These two perspectives can distinctly shape their outcomes.
Research in positive psychology reveals that individuals who choose to have an optimistic mindset experience greater overall well-being, improved problem-solving abilities, and stronger resilience. This isn’t about toxic positivity; rather, it’s about adopting a solution-oriented approach to life. When we reframe our challenges as stepping stones rather than roadblocks, we empower ourselves to take control of our personal stories.
Daily practices to foster self-awareness and a positive mindset
Mindful reflection: Take a few moments each day to check in with yourself. Where is your personal battery life at? What thoughts are present in your mind? Are they feeding the wolf of fear or the wolf of courage?
Gratitude journaling: Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Our brains carry a negative bias, so this simple exercise can help shift your focus toward abundance rather than lack.
Reframing challenges: The next time you face a setback, instead of saying to yourself, “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “What is this teaching me?” Redirecting your perspective can help you find meaning in adversity.
Conscious breathing: In moments of stress, pause and take deep, intentional breaths. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting calmness and clarity. My personal favorite is box breathing: a four-second inhale, a four-second pause, a four-second exhale, and then another four-second pause.
Intentional self-talk: Replace self-limiting beliefs with affirmations that empower and uplift you. Your inner dialogue dictates your outer reality. A simple switch from “I can’t” to “I can” can make a powerful difference.
Final thoughts
Mindset and self-awareness are the foundation of how we show up each day. By practicing mindfulness and consciously choosing which perspective we want to embody, we strengthen our ability to regulate emotions, embrace challenges, and foster a fulfilling life. The battle between the two wolves is ongoing, but with awareness, intention, and daily practice, we hold the power to feed the one that leads us toward growth, joy, and resilience.
Read more from Zaira Armendariz
Zaira Armendariz, MS, Certified Resilience Coach and Personal Trainer
Zaira Armendariz is a passionate advocate for mental health and well-being. She earned her master's degree in Positive Psychology from Arizona State University and certifications in Resilience Coaching and Personal Training. She also is the host of her own wellness podcast called Complex, Like Wine.
Zaira's journey into the realm of mental health and wellness was deeply influenced by her own encounters with adversity. It was through these challenges that she discovered her passion for empowering others to navigate their journey of healing and finding their inner strength. Zaira is deeply committed to helping others proactively manage their mental, emotional, physical, and social well-being through positive psychology strategies.
