Tina Robinson is an expert when it comes to creating the perfect work-life balance. Overcoming many adversaries, aged 14, she suffered the tragic loss of her best friend. She consequently developed bulimia; life became unimaginable, but her strong innate resolve and passion for the subconscious mind guided Tina on the right path.
Have you ever noticed that your mood changes during the same time of the year, although you cannot explain why? Or perhaps you are assailed by a wave of loneliness, worry, or longing, and you cannot pinpoint exactly the reason. This phenomenon, commonly known as the ‘anniversary effect’, is a strong emotional response connected to past events which have, in particular, involved loss, trauma, or major life changes.
What is the anniversary effect?
The anniversary effect is when the mind and body unconsciously ‘re-experience the impact of the past emotional event. The fact that the person is not even aware of when the memory returns is not the only thing that causes the ‘anniversary effect’ but also the sensory details like the memory of a season, a song, or a smell associated with that season. The most often commemorated occasions, such as the annual death of someone whom the person loved or the recollection of a traumatic event, might pop up suddenly and take the shape of sadness, anger, and physical signs like fatigue or headaches.
Before I discuss what it is, I want to share with you a story. After losing my father suddenly back in 2002, every year around the anniversary of his death, I felt very unsettled and anxious, an internal horrible feeling that I could not make sense of. It was bad enough that I was dealing with the fact he was no longer there, but now this, the only way to describe it is a perpetual feeling of impending doom.’ yes, it sounds dramatic and that’s how I was feeling as if something bad was around the corner, and I became hyper-vigilant, this would happen the month before and leading up to his death.
It was only after years of struggling with this, blaming it on everything from hormones to life dissatisfaction, I spent endless hours at the doctor's surgery searching for an answer as well as making changes to my personal life, only to be left with the same emotions, this left me very confused and I needed answers because something inside didn’t feel right. As with everything, more information became available, Google was a very helpful tool and studies evolved which is when I stumbled across ‘the anniversary effect’ and this felt like an ‘aha’ moment, I felt instant relief, and have done ever since around the anniversaries. I understand what is happening and the more I understand, the easier each year gets, so when my beloved dog Monty passed away suddenly on December 20th, 2019, as devastating as this was, I was more than prepared to handle the anniversary, don’t get me wrong, it was very tough, he was the centre of my world and it was during Covid which is a time that I needed him the most. It is approaching his 5th anniversary, and I now look forward to my little rituals. I write this article for those impacted by this but unaware of its existence. Knowledge is power and I now allow myself time to remember him for the wonderful ball of love he was, I let the feelings come and I can acknowledge them. I pay tribute to my gorgeous boy Monty, he was the best pug in the world and will be forever in my heart.
Why does it happen?
Our minds have the capability of connecting incidents with emotions. Important incidents, particularly those encompassing strong emotions such as sorrow or fear, are permanently set in the brain. The limbic system, which controls emotions and memory, is the one that gets triggered by similar stimuli or dates, which is why this overwhelming feeling comes up. Thus even after so many years, the bodies and the minds still respond and act as if the incident was just recently experienced.
Signs of the anniversary effect that you may be struggling with
Increased emotional sensitivity: Becoming more susceptible to emotional influences or emotional reactions even in a seeming absence of reasons.
Physical symptoms: More tired than usual, less interested in activities, or experiencing physical pain around the anniversary date.
Changes in behaviour: Retraction of oneself from social interactions, staying away from places or situations that evoke painful memories, and/or difficulties in focusing on tasks.
Unexplained sadness or anxiety: Feeling downhearted or overly anxious about the date that is nearing.
Coping with the anniversary effect
Acknowledge the feelings: Remember that it is normal and justifiable to feel like this. Denying them escalates them even further.
Create rituals of remembrance: Show respect to the memory of the event or the loved one you have lost in a way that is meaningful to you.
Develop remembrance rituals: Remember the event or the deceased. This can be lighting a candle, writing in a journal, or spending time with supportive people.
Take care of yourself: Practice mindfulness, exercise, or engage in activities that make you happy and calm.
Get help: A friend or a family member, as well as a therapist, is whom you should talk to. Expressing your emotions can be a very potent way of healing.
Reframe the day: Rather than focusing on the painful memories in the past, focus on how far you have come and what you have learned from the event.
Moving forward
The anniversary effect makes us aware of the fact that we are still attached to our past through our emotions and experiences. Although it can be hard at times, it provides a chance for contemplation, healing, and growth. You will be able to surf through these set emotional states with resilience and compassion for yourself if you understand and embrace them.
Every anniversary is being aware of both the pain and the progress. If you need any help working through these deep-rooted emotions and grief, please get in touch by clicking here.
Tina Robinson, Peak Performance Hypnotherapist & Entrepreneur
Tina Robinson is an expert when it comes to creating the perfect work-life balance. Overcoming many adversaries, aged 14 suffering the tragic loss of her best friend she consequently developed bulimia, life became unimaginable but her strong innate resolve and passion for the subconscious mind guided Tina on the right path. She has spent over 20 years as an entrepreneur working with her subconscious mind, creating the perfect balanced life. A Certified Hypnotherapist specialising in 'Peak Performance' Tina offers globally, a one of a kind service to fellow entrepreneurs, who are on a quest for harmony, using her unique method in 'Mind-Artistry'. Her mission is to transform lives from the inside out.
