Written by Amy Kida, Integrative Bodywork Therapist
Amy Kida is known for her ability to listen to the body and feel disruptions on many cellular levels. She is the owner of Earth 2 Soul, a multi-use therapy facility located in upstate NY. A place to receive bodywork, explore art therapy workshops, Yoga classes, community conversation classes, and learn about multi-level healing/self-care.
Massage therapy can vary greatly depending on where you go and who you're working with. It is normal to have personal preferences; some people feel more comfortable with a specific gender. That’s fine; your comfort is the number 1 priority. Whether you're new to massages or a regular client, understanding the expectations around time, communication, and boundaries can help ensure that both you and the therapist are on the same page. A successful appointment is when both therapist and client feel comfortable and respected.
When does the clock start?
Have you ever left a massage thinking, that was an hour? It’s either because you were in such a blissful state that the time flew or because you're back in your car and realizing the timing doesn’t add up. When does the time for a session begin? If your appointment is scheduled for 1:00 PM, does the timer start the moment you walk through the door, or does it start when the therapist begins working on your body?
The answer often depends on the therapist and type of massage business. In corporate-style spas or chain businesses, the clock usually starts at the scheduled appointment time this is due to the back-to-back nature of the appointments. In these settings, the therapist may not have much leeway to factor in the time spent filling out forms, getting undressed, or using the bathroom. Consequently, a 60-minute appointment may end up being less than an hour of actual massage time. Or the session is 50 minutes, and the therapist starts a new session on the hour leaving 10 minutes for you to get in and get out. Offices of this nature tend to do a superficial basic massage.
However, in private practice, the clock is more likely (but not always) to start when the therapist’s hands touch your body. Private practice typically allows time for you to fill out health forms/or give an update, ask questions, and get prepared for the session. The hope is that it takes under 3 minutes for you to undress and get comfortable on the table. It's important to note that punctuality plays a role here; if you're late, that may shorten your session, and if the therapist is late, they should adjust accordingly.
To maximize the most of your time, it's best to arrive about 5-10 minutes early, dressed in easy-to-remove clothing and minimal jewelry, use the bathroom, and be ready to begin your treatment promptly. This preparation can help maximize the time you receive for your actual massage.
Who does the talking?
Massage therapy is a personal experience, and for the comfort of all involved part of there is a need for some communication. Some clients prefer a quiet, peaceful session to help them relax, while others may feel more comfortable talking during the massage. There is value in establishing your preferences upfront. There is no shame in being honest and saying, “I’d like a quiet session, please.” It’s also completely normal to correlate the connection of emotions to muscular tension, and clients may express personal feelings during treatment. However, massage therapists are not licensed to offer mental health advice, so if you feel the need to discuss emotional topics, remember that therapists are there to provide physical relief, not psychological counsel.
Therapists typically create a calm and relaxing environment, but they also need to respect the client's boundaries and comfort levels. If you prefer silence, it's okay to communicate that at the start of your session. On the other hand, if you feel more comfortable having a conversation, that’s fine too. Sometimes, the massage therapist is one of the only people that the client sees that day. Some people are lonely and just want to feel connected to another human being for a little while, while others are overwhelmed and just want to drift off mentally.
Open communication about your preferences can help ensure that both you and the therapist are comfortable. It will result in a better experience for you and your money. A therapist should ask questions about pressure preferences, areas of tension, or any specific goals for the session, which will result in a session customized to what feels right for you.
Setting boundaries and managing expectations
One of the key takeaways from any massage session is the importance of setting and respecting boundaries in terms of time and personal comfort.
For instance, if a session runs a little longer than expected or if you feel that the therapist has gone above and beyond, it's a nice gesture to show appreciation by leaving a little extra in the payment. However, the opposite can also be true. If you feel that your session was cut short, whether due to the therapist running late or because the clock started before the hands-on work began, it’s appropriate to speak up.
Clear communication is key. If something feels off, whether it’s the time, the pressure, or the overall experience, it's important to discuss that with your therapist. This helps create an open dialogue where both parties can address concerns and have realistic expectations moving forward.
For example, one massage therapist recalls a situation where a client showed up 15 minutes late for a 90-minute session. The therapist, trying to be accommodating and splitting the difference, gave the client 83 minutes of treatment, which they felt was fair given the circumstances. However, the client expected the full 90 minutes despite their tardiness, and this caused some tension. After a conversation about the situation, the client began arriving on time for future sessions, which ensured they would receive the full treatment they had reserved.
The value of time: Yours and mine
Ultimately, it all comes down to the value of time, both yours and the professionals'. As a client, it’s important to respect the therapist’s time by arriving early or on time and being prepared for the session. If a therapist is late, it’s reasonable to expect that your session will still be the time length you reserved. This may put you behind with other plans for the day, it’s always wise to not plan anything directly after having a massage. Your body and mind deserve downtime following a session to absorb the changes and releases that just happened during your session.
Massage therapy is not just about physical touch; it’s a transaction of time, energy, and care. Both parties should feel that their time is respected and that the session was worth the money spent. This mutual respect creates a positive experience that encourages ongoing trust and a commitment to honoring each other’s needs and building a long-term therapeutic relationship.
Massage therapy is an experience that’s meant to be both therapeutic and relaxing, but that can only happen when both the client and the therapist understand each other’s expectations, communicate openly, and respect boundaries. Whether it's understanding when the session starts or knowing how to set the right tone for the conversation, taking the time to have these discussions ensures that everyone involved feels respected.
Next time you book an appointment, remember that the best massage experience stems from clear communication, mutual respect, and understanding of time and boundaries. Don’t hesitate to speak up if something doesn’t feel right. Open dialogue creates a therapeutic environment built on trust and respect.
Read more from Amy Kida
Amy Kida, Integrative Bodywork Therapist
Amy Kida is a licensed massage therapist, with 25+ years’ experience in bodywork and energy movement. Amy can palpate rhythms and disruptions in the body that correlate with muscular, visceral, craniosacral and fascia systems. In addition, she has training in reflexology, aromatherapy, somatic emotional release, Feng Shui and more! Her years of experience and training allow her to touch and listen to the body, she is a master in her field of intuition and touch communication.
