Uncommon Comfort to Success
- Brainz Magazine
- 3 days ago
- 10 min read
Arthur J. Rutledge is a mindset and leadership speaker, coach, and trainer. He helps people to beam with their dreams and how to put fire on their desires. Best selling Author of the new book "11 Pillars of Confidence" published by the L.A. Tribune. Also an entrepreneur and co-founder of Peoples Pride.
The roads we create keep going during and after what’s weathered. We are challenged to take on the same character for our life. The first action is to believe you can make it in any destination that you settle on. The second is to prepare for the climb. The power comes with the endurance of both committing to your belief, while persisting in your climb. At the root of these examples lies an undeniable truth of the human soul. We get to be comfortable with the inevitable walk of discomfort. We have our trials that become our training. We are tossed around in the other current as we swim from silence to strength.
As my friend Tinashe Mudiwa would say in her newly released book The Sacred Current, it really lies in trusting ourselves to make good decisions and see what we are capable of during the process. I often see the axiom that says “trust the process,” but I believe it’s up to you to “make a process that you trust.” The only zone worth your time is in a persistent zone of action. There are multiple ways to assert your attention in the right areas, to take the resistance out of learning new ways to cope with uncertain and uncomfortable perceptions.
10 practices to rewire our comfort zone
1. Learn to work without complaining
I have worn many hats in my life, and I can say with all honesty, nothing made me happier than complaining, until I met someone who spoke volumes into my life. They suggested not taking myself so seriously, finding ways to catch a glimmer of a smile during uncomfortable situations, and making a decision to embrace gratitude for having more versus having less.
I realized I had more than most, and had, through my experiences, the chances to grow. The work that you decide to do is always your choice. When you accept the road you choose, your comfort zone won’t be an issue. You will step into whatever position with an optimistic outlook on why you truly want to get things done.
“You are the sky. Everything else, it’s just the weather.”— Pema Chödrön
2. Love feedback and learning
When I was younger, I wasn’t very open to feedback or learning, at least not in a formal capacity. I found that the way I learned was through narratives I had to figure out for myself, without being in a room we’re told will give us prestige or class. We are the grand experiment of our lives. If we are not taking control of our inner circumstances, we will not have any control over the outer things we want. I’m always reminded that diamonds are made of elements that are vigorous by definition and overcome the pressure of time. Give yourself enough time to show up as the diamond that’s in you. That takes patience, the correct environment, and specialized knowledge of some sort.
“Knowledge is the treasure, but practice is the key to it.”— Lao Tzu
3. Change your approach when circumstances change
There is a great book about how to approach different ways of emotional flexibility by Susan David, PhD, called Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work Environments. Most times, we can’t see ourselves when we are in the picture, so it’s great to have people who have a better understanding of the things we want, so we can operate to become the person we are esteeming to be. If your curiosity leads you to want to find out if you are growing toward stronger emotional intelligence, tap into her quiz here.
You should know that the power of change doesn’t have to be a frightening journey. Practice taking yourself on with the right attitude; then it becomes an adventure. You reflect the bravery you pursue, and that’s gained experience that’s exhilarating enough to embrace again and again. Get used to living much more of your life to appreciate the quality of it. Everything in life is connected to the approach because we do operate from our hearts. Who you are reflects what you are in the world. The good or bad that you are aware of at this point in your life gets to be evaluated constantly to determine what is in your heart. Value how you show up, and prosper accordingly.
“As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.”— Proverbs 27:19
4. Understand that your actions are perceived by others
As you continue to grow in a purpose-driven and constructive perceptive mindset, that I call “Vertical Mindset,” you will find the strength that can grow inside of you will start to influence others in your proximity. As you continuously step forward in your confidence, it will start to make the necessary changes to receive new insights from the heart. What we do repeatedly gets results. In this case, it creates opportunities to meet and collaborate with like-minded individuals and groups. We are not only of ourselves, we are interconnected.
Notice if you have let your comfort zone get so comfy you may have allowed it to inhibit you from better connecting with others in the world. This part that we lock up stops the flow of true, vulnerable interdependence. When you believe in self, you believe in others. They, in turn, induce their faith in you. That’s what you call lasting action!
5. Have control over your emotional responses
The practice of responding and not reacting has been long talked about amongst scholars throughout history.
“Between stimulus and response, there is space. In that space is power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”—Viktor E. Frankl
Simply put, with a disciplined mind, it makes way for more concise and clear thoughts that can be shared between the mature boundaries of respect. That takes repeatedly getting out of one’s comfort zone to find new methods of communicating in various and complex circles, whether it’s auxiliaries, family, or society at large. The more flexible we are, the more we practice our patience to outweigh our pressures.
Keeping the other person in mind with a sincere hope to connect will always serve you better than getting the last word. Arguments ensue from lack of understanding and unwillingness to put away ego. The practice of deep breaths and not looking to take offense can always keep you floating above water with a good life preserver around your waist.
6. Keep going with resilience
Be willing to face the hard things, and you will find emotional strengthening right before your eyes.
Unforeseen circumstances will arise. It’s best to address them right away. In the 1999 blockbuster comedy/romance hit Runaway Bride, the star Julia Roberts plays Maggie, the perpetual bride who could never get past the “I do” because of an inner conflict that left her unsure of her grooms. Her journalist co-star, “Ike,” played by Richard Gere, was there to get the scoop on why the seemingly unfazed woman was so elusive of this most treasured tradition of a wedding. Finally, they fell in love, but on her terms. She realized that to truly be happy, she had to trust the process of trusting her process.
Facing these conclusions in life can be tricky, especially when we are pain-averse and not willing to face the shadow that is lurking beneath the surface. We get to bring those shadows into the light in beneficial ways. The only way is to face off and be the winner of this type of inner conflict that takes the attribute called adaptability.
“Resilience is the ability to brush off pain.”— Kristen Roupenian
7. Prioritize your “why”
Why just part, why not full? The acorn doesn’t know why it falls to the ground until it becomes an oak. Wherever you are, make a process you can trust. The belief that you can walk through anything is in the human code and should not be forgotten.
I’ve seen some of the best and worst in people. A big deciding factor in the caliber of an individual is living with a strong attention to realizing their significance. As we accept the merits of discomfort, our comfort zone will naturally expand. What we believed was impossible yesterday will be perfectly normal today. What we fear today will be easy to do tomorrow. When this happens, we will wonder why we had been so easily swayed by imagined fears.
You have the courage to overcome all of your limitations. Remember, courage is not the absence of fear, by definition, someone without fear can’t be courageous.
When you find a purpose in your desire, it will give you a boost of fortitude, renaissance, and resolve. We all need to have something that helps pull us toward the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if we have coasted toward our dream until that happens, it is the uncertain road we can’t yet see that prepares us for ambivalence.
Your compass is set to get around rough terrain, and that happens while walking on dirt. Your dreams are on the other side of your why for living. So buckle down to the aspiration of your dreams.
8. Altruism brings open-mindedness by sharing ideas and edifying others
It’s an informational, modern, and conceptual term in the Hebrew culture called Firgun. It describes a genuine, unselfish delight and pride in another person's accomplishment, also a generosity of spirit and unselfish joy in someone else's good fortune. It’s a good word to use when remembering you can choose this altruistic behavior to let others know their hearts are allowed to shine. You best believe it’s a great vibrancy to encourage as you and they practice getting used to conquering the complexities of the comfort zone.
I have adopted the mantra “Sharing is caring.” Sharing leads to the creativity of our existence. Credit is due where you duly give credit. I would not be able to hold truth to that if I were to avoid empathy or compassion in my fellow person. Also, I find the more education I acquire, the more I want to give. I don’t have the feeling of wanting to hoard what I feel is sent from God as a gift to ourselves and one another.
Have you ever had an idea that you did not feel was the right time to embark on, only to see it flourish in someone else’s mind weeks, months, or years after you thought about it? Well, if you haven’t become aware of it, I am here to tell you that it’s a real thing. It takes commitment and conviction to move in the direction that you are unsure of. You might even find yourself in a whirlwind of inadequacies within the sphere in which you have lived your whole life. I’ve been there. It’s an unsettling feeling that could bring you to a place where you say, “Why even bother?” The answer, though not simple, is correctable. Don’t be afraid of your power. The heart speaks in many tongues, and how to decipher those is to be open to the possibilities of yourself. When you understand that you are capable of doing that and being steadfast to who you want to become, it leads to the generosity that can be bestowed on others.
The more that you can grant to others, the more that others will produce dividends in the form of lifelong support for what you stand for. I think that would make it a lot easier and simplify stepping outside of your comfort zone. Friendships can be uncomfortable, but authentic ones bring the fullness of life.
9. Stay present and own your calmness
Forbearance is a hallmark of wisdom and is not often spoken about. Until we are able to face hesitation and vacillation, the clock will stop on our personal development. Being present is being aware of our circumstances in a calm and adaptive manner. Without being present, we will find ourselves in the wilderness of disorder.
We get to become centered as we learn to strengthen our emotional intelligence. An aspect of that is knowing what lies outside of our control and what doesn’t, without diminishing our worth. When you own your calmness, you can create the rational concepts that will enable you to rise, even through times of discomfort.
“Happiness is not thinking you earn a world’s approval but waking up each day and feeling so at peace in your own skin, quietly anticipating the day ahead, unconcerned with how you are perceived.”—Brianna Wiest
10. Avoid negative self-talk
At one time or season, we have all been the victim of our own negative self-talk, tearing down our self-trust or integrity on some level, consciously, but mostly unconsciously. When we feel discomfort, it comes from feelings of dissatisfaction with where we are in our lives. We sink into a state of fear due to inaction toward what excites us. Literally, inaction leaves us dormant.
If this is you, you may ask, How can I resuscitate back into life? Seek the quintessential breaths of life by giving a generous helping of self-love. When we are in a state where we can forgive our past, we can truly become adapted to our future. Gratitude gives us the courage to be fierce in our lives, making us willing to take on better thinking routines and disconnect from self-imposed discord.
Writing daily affirmations and acting out better-feeling exercises over time will show you how to move from average to boldly attempting, and winning at, your dream.
“The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable, and imperfect.”— Brené Brown
Leave the confines of the mundane to reach new heights of the sublime. I truly believe if you follow these steps, you can break the confines of a person that has doubts about stepping into their highest potential. It’s time to become deliberate in the liberation.
Learning what it takes to improve your emotional intelligence is an extended effort, so it’s always necessary to be kind to yourself while you are recreating yourself. Believe that you have the willpower. Building optimism when the going gets rough and enduring self-trust is a work in progress that leads to your worthy process. Shine on!
Read more from Arthur J. Rutledge
Arthur J. Rutledge, Author, Leadership Speaker & Coach
Arthur J. Rutledge is a thought leader with an unwavering mission to enhance, cultivate, and empower over a million leaders to fulfill their pure potential in life. Starting from a young age, his love for people became fundamental and sparked his passion for giving back by supporting people in their personal growth. 2024 marked the fruition of that endured vision with the new book " 11 Pillars of Confidence, build and Lead an Empowered You." He is also an entrepreneur, owner of Kap Group Events NYC, and co-founder of the online store Peoples Pride. His abetment in life is to continue helping people to reinvent and reinforce the vertical mindset, the words he is known to say as an encouragement to all, "Shine on!"
.jpg)