Written by: Erin Ekman, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It's All Within your Control. Change requires an immense amount of trust. It requires that we trust in ourselves, those around us and in something greater than us. When we don’t have trust, we falter, we grasp for control and we seek absolutes – it is right or it is wrong, it is good or it is bad.
While change can be disorienting and confusing, change also serves a purpose ‒ it keeps us, our relationships, our workplace and our cultures vital and dynamic.
CHANGE MINDSET 1: CHANGE IS ONLY NEGATIVE IF YOU DECIDE IT IS.
Change does not have to be painful, it’s when we resist change that it becomes stressful and disorienting. If our tendency is to avoid the discomfort of the unknown, cling to what we know (to create certainty) and push against progression, we prolong the destabilizing effects of change. During times of change, you may feel like you have no control – that you are at the whim of others with no certainty of where you will end up. You may find yourself in “black and white” thinking and labeling change as either “good or bad”.
You may be familiar with the Zen fable, “Maybe, Maybe not” by Alan Watts, that recounts a man and his runaway horse. Through this short story, you come to recognize that there are no "good" or "bad" events. They are simply events. It is our desire to control, label, and anticipate that causes us pain.
I encourage you to watch the story here.
Notice your own labeling during moments of change – are you painting a limited picture of what is happening? What are you not seeing (or allowing yourself to see) that may shift your perspective and even your feelings about the change? What opportunities (for self, and others) are present because of this change?
CHANGE MINDSET 2: THE ONLY THING YOU CAN CONTROL IS HOW YOU REACT.
You may be feeling overwhelmed right now and uncertain about the future. What is causing you the most stress? Is it this moment? Or is it the “unknown” that lies before you?
Ever heard of VUCA? This acronym is widely used in change management processes and coaching through teams through change. It stands for:
Volatility
Uncertainty
Complexity
Ambiguity
The presence of any one of these in a system (family, organization, community) can have a profound influence on those within it.
Through 13 years of coaching individuals and teams, I have witnessed the impact that uncertainty in a system has on stress and resiliency – put a person or a team in a volatile (unpredictable and fast-moving) situation and tell them it’s going to last for 2 hours (certainty), the majority will handle it. Put them in an equally volatile situation and not tell them the timeline...people will break down and give up much faster than those with a “known” element (i.e., time).
Much of our ability to navigate a challenging situation, even over a long period of time, comes from knowing that it is going to end. We “dig in,” we pace ourselves, and we prepare ourselves based on how long we might be there. When we have “uncertainty,” our minds struggle to prepare and the voice of doubt, worry and fear fill the emptiness of the “unknown” with, “I don’t think I can do this.”
What I tell individuals and organizations experiencing change is this – create your own certainty.
“I will be giving you an update at 1 pm tomorrow”
“Our team will meet every Tuesday at 10 virtually for the next 3 weeks and then we will re-evaluate”
“Our family will have dinner together every night for the remainder of the week”
“I will go to bed at 9 pm every night and wake up at 6 am”
These small commitments and “anchoring” points can go a long way in calming a stressed mind and ensuring that you react less from a place of control, fear and worry.
By practicing the mindsets above, you will learn to embrace change and the opportunity it brings. When we adapt, shift, and accept that no experience is “good or bad” we can use this perspective to grow and build success no matter the circumstance. Remember, Change is the only Constant. You have the ability to embrace change and use it to your advantage with the right mindset.
Watch for our next article, 4 Ways to Develop a Change Mindset, which will be published very soon!
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Erin Ekman, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Erin is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) with the International Coach Federation (ICF), and the principal facilitator and leadership consultant with Centrivity Inc. She has worked in coaching and leadership development since 2009 and holds a Professional Co-Active Coach Certification (CPCC) from the Coaches Training Institute. Erin is passionate about developing people and teams as they actively move towards their personal and professional goals, and partnering with organizations that recognize that their people are their greatest asset and pathway to long-term success.
