Written by: Zovig Garboushian, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
There are endless lists, articles, podcasts, and books on what makes a good leader (one could chalk up this article as one of them). I’ve read many, as you may have. But they feel redundant and seem to focus on so many of the same ideas.
Be a good communicator. Know your bias. Practice empathy. Learn to delegate. Be influential. Be decisive. Earn trust. And so on.
But how do you be all those things? Two words: Curiosity and self-awareness.
I coach leaders across many industries, from tech to healthcare, hospitality to non-profits, and banking to startups. Everyone wants to know the secrets to good leadership: better communication, handling conflict, making swift decisions, and influencing people. Typically, sooner rather than later, we see that we need to take the focus off how to do something and turn it on to who we need to be.
The answer is usually around being curious and developing self-awareness.
Curiosity helps us explore and understand ourselves and the world around us. Self-awareness is what we know of ourselves, and it's generated through our curiosity.
Be curious.
Approach anything and everything from curiosity, most importantly yourself. Curiosity is the key to creating solutions to all problems and questions—business questions, personal conundrums, conflict resolution, life choices, and more. That’s because when you're curious, you can't be judgmental; they literally cannot coexist.
When we judge, we look for the easiest shortcut to an answer or solution. In business, we're rewarded for swift actions, so it makes sense that we use our judgment regularly and often. It works until it doesn't. When we're looking for a quick fix, making assumptions, or giving into bias, we shut down any new or reimagined solutions.
Curiosity may take more time, but it leads to greater reward.
For instance, if your team struggles to collaborate, it might be easy to assume that the answer is a team-building workshop or a happy hour. Right there, you're judging both the root of the problem and making assumptions about the best way to fix it.
Getting curious opens you up to see what’s behind the curtain. What message might you be sending or demonstrating about how to work as a team? Do you model collaboration? Do you lead by example in how to address conflict? Do you see and honor folks who think and process differently than you? The curiosity you invest in yourself will enable you to understand your team's experiences and arm you to support them in the way they need.
That builds trust. That builds teams.
Be self-aware.
Self-awareness is more than knowing your strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Genuine awareness of who and how you are is expansive and qualitative and answers questions like:
What motivates you or shuts you down?
What are your natural tendencies?
What scares you or makes you hesitate?
What are your natural talents (not to be confused with acquired skills or learning)?
What emotions are you experiencing, why, and when?
How might you be perceived by others?
How do you learn?
What excites you?
This isn’t information you pick up in a week-long leadership retreat or a 360 review. Knowing yourself takes interest and commitment, experimentation, and vulnerability, and it's an ongoing and continuous discovery that relies on curiosity without judgment.
Like curiosity, self-awareness takes time.
For those of us accustomed to moving quickly and producing results, know that the process of learning ourselves is not quick, but it is powerful. There's a time to move fast and slow down, get present with your surroundings, and be clear on your impact on them. Embrace the mistakes, the feedback and criticism, the visibility of success (and take note of how you handle that), and tune into your emotions.
Knowing what motivates you makes it easy to recognize what motivates your people. If you can name your own emotions, you can tune into the feelings of others. Conversely, if you disregard the complexities of yourself—emotions, thoughts, vulnerabilities—you’re likely to miss those subtleties in those you lead (or anyone, really).
Tune into the complexities of those around you or risk losing them.
I’ve always been a fast thinker. I can see a situation, quickly scan for information, create an accurate assessment, and decide on action. For years, I’ve considered this a strength. In 2011, I was in a performance review and was told I had moved too quickly and had left people behind. I was dumbstruck. I thought that taking quick action was a sign of leadership, but according to my manager, the opposite was true.
She put a mirror in my face. What I thought was a superpower was a potential liability if not harnessed right. After that review, I tuned in and caught myself moving quickly. I said things like, “I’ll pause here. What do you think so far?”
This small move allowed others to digest information, and, more importantly, it included them in the conversation. It also opened the door for their viewpoints, which frequently improved our ideas. Most importantly, it created a trust. While it took more time, I saw relationships change for the better.
Be leadership.
Don’t act as a leader, be a leader. Curiosity and self-awareness aren't things we do; they are who we are. Instead of asking how to get people to listen to you, model listening through curiosity. Become vigilant about the messages you send and how you demonstrate behaviors. Rather than assuming you know, ask more questions of yourself and of your team regularly and often. Get curious about why you think the way you do and how you feel, and get accustomed to asking the same of your team.
Once you commit to curiosity and self-awareness, you'll be less concerned with finding the right words or being the perfect leader; you'll be leadership.
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Zovig Garboushian, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Zovig Garboushian, CEO of Boldness Ablaze Coaching, is an Executive Coach and Speaker who focuses on advancing women in leadership and in their careers. Her vision is a world where women go after what they want boldly and unapologetically. She works with leaders by helping them deepen their self-awareness, ease their extremes, trust themselves deeply, and self-manage with clarity, competence, and consciousness.
