Written by Mary Starks, Pyschotherapist
Mary Starks is a Psychotherapist in Los Angeles specializing in working with adults with childhood trauma. She is also part of a rising field of mental health professionals working on set in the film industry to provide advisement on responsible portrayal of mental illness and help cast and crew through sensitive content.
Are you a relatively new Angeleno pursuing work in Hollywood? Or are you a seasoned performer, filmmaker, or above or below the production line worker experiencing additional struggle navigating challenging aspects of this work? In this guide, you are invited to reflect on your personal embeddedness in the Hollywood social milieu. Since landing in Hollywood, you may have encountered aspects of the human condition you have never conceived and it has you at risk of running afoul.
3 strategies to preserve yourself in tough times
1. Know your own story
Since the dawn of early Hollywood, people have come here to LA, the “Dream Factory” to pursue creative possibilities. In the beginning, many of the silent film stars hailed from adverse and desperate conditions; many were young women and girls, brave mavericks whose backstories included paternal absence, either through death, madness or desertion and a spectrum of hardship. These individuals were part of the first wave of Hollywood Pioneers. In the early 1900’s, we lacked the knowledge, research, resources that promoted psychological and mental health awareness we enjoy and benefit from today. Know your own story, and understand how your early relational worlds impacted your personality. How you relate to yourself, others and the entertainment industry is just as important to your success as your agent, talent and opportunity.
2. Uphold boundaries
Seeking success in Hollywood can activate all of your insecurities and play them in Dolby surround sound as you brush your teeth, walk down the street, wait in the elevator. It can be a humbling and humiliating form of social torture. If you are terrified, you are on the right track. There are good reasons for terror, your perception of what is real and illusory will be in play. Look no further than ID's Hollywood True Crime series: Death by Fame, The Curse of Glee and Netflix's "Dancing with the Devil."
We become willing to betray our own needs, values and even care of self in pursuit of our dreams, justifying it as a necessary sacrifice. Early Hollywood and the mob go hand in hand. More about that here. It was a mutually beneficial relationship. The mafia needed to launder money and Hollywood needed funding to make films, studio bosses were slave drivers and people complied to insane hours as if their lives depended on it, because, well, maybe it did. Anything less than total obedience was unacceptable.
Times have changed, you can set a healthy boundary and eventually people will come to respect it if they do not right away. There is a movement to bring more humanity to Hollywood and you can be part of it.
In 1993, Mel Gibson gave an interview with a British journalist about the “social contract of Hollywood”
The interview is fascinating and coherent and worth a watch, he emphasizes using your intuition and his honesty and insight resonates. Would love to hear what you think.
3. Uplift your self-worth
"Enough feels conditional. Only possible when I'm performing or impressing or standing out and being someone special or associated with someone special." Does this narrative sound familiar to you? If you find yourself hobnobbing at a party with the Hollywood elite, notice when the person with the most star power walks into the room and take note of how the group gradually gravitates towards that person.
Look at your inner narrative. Interpersonally, the strategies to maintain connection do not have to be to focus on performance and success. "If I keep focusing on success, I won't notice how little comfort there actually is available. In fact, I think that the need for comfort is weak and unnecessary. I'll go through life being proud of my self-sufficiency and specialness." If this resonates with you, you are not alone. The earliest silent film starts who came to Hollywood embodied this same attitude.
If you've found yourself in Los Angeles and the Entertainment Industry, trying to “make it” and wrestling with your selfhood, identity, and direction, you are in the right place. Yes, Hollywood can annihilate you, send you packing, and even cut your life short, but with the right conditions and supportive people, it can also be a tremendous vehicle by which you can come to understand yourself and live the best version of yourself. Interpersonally, the strategies to maintain connection do not have to be to focus on performance and success. You can show up as your authentic self.
Read more from Mary Starks
Mary Starks, Pyschotherapist
Mary Starks MA, LPCC has a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology and certification in Infant and Family Clinical Practice. Starks is also on the Film and Mind Series Committee at the New Center of Psychoanalysis in Los Angeles, CA. She works from a psychoanalytic perspective and has a special interest in the intersection between Hollywood history, power dynamics and trauma. She works in private practice and is certified through the Association of Mental Health Coordinators to provide on set mental health support for film and tv cast and crew.
