Written by: Michelle Clarke, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Women's Fear of Being Visible Stems from Being Shut Up, Shut Down, and Shut Out
Are you a soul-led entrepreneur who is afraid to be seen?
96% of female business owners I interviewed fear being visible on their personal social media profiles and/or doing live videos. Being visible when you have a soul-led business is paramount to success, so this is a big deal, and it is something I am passionate about helping women to move past.
I am Michelle, a soul-led energy maverick, freedom fighting, empowerer of women, an animal-loving, tree-hugging empath, and a woman with a fire in her soul. You could say that I am obsessed with empowering women, and you wouldn’t be wrong, some would call me a feminist, but I resist labels.
So, where does all this fear of visibility begin? It begins with women being shut up, shut down, and shut out. Now you might like to tell me at this point that this also happens to men, but let me tell you, not as much as it happens to women.
Women are taught to keep their opinions to themselves, to speak kindly, to consider others' feelings, basically not to voice their truth if it affects others.
Don’t believe me? Let’s look at a few examples.
How many times have you been talked over in a meeting?
How many times did your idea get brushed aside only to be picked up when a male around the meeting table suggested exactly the same thing?
How many times have you been chastised for being emotional in an attempt to keep you quiet and under control?
How many times do you back down when someone raises their voice?
How many times are you afraid to say what you really think?
How many times did one of your parents apologize to you as a child when you voiced your opinion in public?
How many times has someone not heard what you were saying?
How many times do you agonize over what you are going to say before you say it?
How many times do you go back and rewrite your posts (or articles) to tame them down?
How often do you rein in an impassioned speech because you feel you monopolize air space and time?
How many times do you wish you had said less?
How many times has someone suggested you could approach a situation in a different way?
Enough is enough.
Men are generally more free to say what they please. I interviewed men, and only 22% said they felt they had to stem what they really wanted to say. Do not misinterpret what I am saying here. It is not a gender issue per se; it is a society issue. We are being raised and treated in different ways. My husband of 20 years agrees wholeheartedly with what I have to say here, and we are committed to raising our daughter in a whole different way.
What I see in my coaching paints a clear picture, the men are not as afraid of being visible as the women are. Women have learned to tone themselves down to fit in and be accepted. I heard “no one likes a bossy woman” at least once a day growing up, and isn’t that just so true?
When women say what they need or what they want, they are called nag.
When a man says what he wants, he is direct.
The first step to change this for ourselves, ladies, is to NOTICE what is going on. You don’t even have to take action to get some shifts in your perception. Just notice when you get the feeling of wanting to ‘back off’ from visibility and explore what is going on in your journal. Over the course of the day, your subconscious mind will throw up examples and long-forgotten occurrences that impact how you feel today. Just acknowledging and sitting with those memories is a great first step forward.
The real work, of course, comes with diving into those long-held beliefs and social conditioning and then empowering you to find your WORTH so that you WANT to stand up and say something. It is not until we overcome this fear that we will show and be visible and grow our soul-led businesses.
You see, you are your business, and other sou-led people want to see the real you before buying from you. They want to connect with you because YOU are your business. You are not some large coca-cola corporation. You are here to change lives and to change lives, and you have to connect.
For more on becoming visible, I invite you to a free group where we practice just that, and the group can be found on Facebook — Soul-Led Entrepreneurs Succeeding.
Now go and make some NOISE!
Michelle Clarke, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Michelle is an energy maverick, public speaker, author, and coach obsessed with empowering soul-led entrepreneurs to make more money doing only what they love. She says, "we have been led to believe that we must follow the normal way of doing things to succeed in business and life, but this just isn't true." She believes that the fastest road to success and living a hell yes life on your terms is to break free from the mold, unleash your true self, and sparkle like the leader you are born to be.
Michelle is committed to working with women, especially those who have a fear of being visible, feel anxiety about ‘making it’ in case they cannot cope with a booming business and other commitments, and also have deep-rooted fears around allowing money into their lives even though they desire it. Her work is deeply rooted in Outing Imposter Syndrome, Creating Success Structures, and Changing Your Relationship With Money. Michelle says, "The results of what I do lead to FREEDOM. Underneath it all, that is what my tribe seeks, the freedom to be real them, the time freedom, and the money freedom, and they get it!"
Michelle gets amazing results by helping soul-led entrepreneurs to dive into quantum energetics + success mindsets + powerful systems & then empowering them to show up as their truest version self to call in their soul clients magnetically.
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