Written by Lark Ericson, Confidence Coach, RN, CHT
Lark Ericson is on a mission to help shy and socially awkward people embrace their authentic selves and confidently navigate any social situation without fear of rejection or embarrassment. Lark understands that dating and networking can be daunting for those who aren't naturally outgoing or confident.
Have you ever done something and heard that little voice in the back of your head that says to you, “Don’t do this," but you brushed it off and did the wrong thing anyway?
Ignoring that little voice has come back to bite me more times than I can count!
Once, when I was heading out to go party for the night, I left my bike in a fenced-in backyard just like I had a million times, but that night the little voice said, “Bring your bike inside," and I swatted the thought away like an annoying fly. The next morning, not only was I hungover but my bike was missing.
Another time recently, I was going to Europe for a few weeks, and I packed the book I was reading at the time. My favorite bookmark, a gorgeous handcrafted wood-inlayed bookmark with a leather tassel, was in that book, and the little voice in my head said, "Don't bring your favorite bookmark."
And again, I was like, “Shut your face; what do you know?”
I forgot that book on a train from Amsterdam to Belgium, with my favorite bookmark tucked in the pages.
In my experience, there are two ways my gut talks to me
1. The mic drop
“Don’t bring your favorite bookmark.” Boom. I think my gut only says important things once because, in this situation, it’s taking itself very seriously and expects me to do the same. Back in the day, if you said to yourself, “Don’t go over there because there is a tiger and it will eat you and you will die,” once was probably enough. But now, with the daily onslaught of stimuli, it takes us hearing something 5-7 times before we hear it.
2. The broken record
Repeating a phrase over and over in your head until you hear it. An example of this is when you're about to leave the house and have to pee. Your gut (or your bladder) keeps saying, “I have to pee, I have to pee,” but your mind says, “Nah, I’ll go when I get there.” Then, inevitably, there’s too much traffic or no parking, and suddenly you are seriously contemplating just squating in the bushes in front of some office park off the freeway. (Guys have it a little easier.)
If you had just listened to your gut, you could have avoided all of that stress and anxiety. But how can you train yourself to listen to your gut when our society doesn't embrace growing and developing this very instinctual muscle?
I find that it’s much easier to master The Broken Record than The Mic Drop. So here’s one simple trick to listening to that little voice in your head:
Try to count how many times you've had that thought while trying to ignore it.
This is so simple, but it takes a little practice and has the potential to change how you relate to yourself and improve your life.
So whenever you’re doing something, anything, and you find that your conscious “should” thoughts are different than the little voice in your head, count how many times you hear that little voice. If you get to three or above, listen to that voice.
Some examples of this are:
When you're working on something you think you should be doing, but in your mind you're saying things like, "I hate this" or "I don't want to be doing this."
When you’re in a hurry and think you’ll eat later but that voice inside your head is saying, “I’m so hungry,” This is a great way to avoid becoming angry and acting impulsively.
As I write this article, I am experiencing the broken record phenomenon. I want to work out, but the little voice in my head keeps saying, "I'm so tired. I'm so tired." Of course, I’ll try to negotiate with myself, maybe just a quick workout or a bike ride, ut at the same time, I’m thinking I could fall over where I’m standing because I’m so exhausted.
By the third time I told myself how tired I was, a little light bulb went off, and my conscious brain finally said, “Oh, I am tired, and that’s okay.”
By learning to tune in to what that little voice is trying to tell you and accepting it as a helpful friend telling you that something needs to be addressed immediately, you’ll notice that your life will get a little bit easier and less stressful. For people dealing with health issues, learning to manage their energy is key and this practice will create more balance in their energy levels. Learning to tune in to what that little voice is trying to tell you and accepting it a helpful friend telling you that needs to be addressed immediately
If you master The Broken Record and get used to listening to your gut when it repeats itself, you will become familiar with this instinctual phenomenon and start to trust your gut when it does The Mic Drop.
If you’re interested in learning more about trusting your gut, specifically in dangerous situations, I highly recommend the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker.
If you're interested in working with Lark to create healthy, fulfilling relationships while increasing your emotional intelligence and confidence, reach out today for a free consultation and start your journey toward stronger connections and a more fulfilling life.
For more info about Lark Ericson, follow her on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook, and visit her website.
Lark Ericson, Confidence Coach, RN, CHT
Lark Ericson is on a mission to help shy and socially awkward people embrace their authentic selves and confidently navigate any social situation without fear of rejection or embarrassment. Lark understands that dating and networking can be daunting for those who aren't naturally outgoing or confident. Having once avoided socializing due to her own fear of rejection, Lark learned to embrace her "weirdness" and thrive in social settings, achieving success in both love and business. Now known for her confidence and ability to easily initiate conversations, Lark wants to teach others how to ignite their own socializing superpowers.
