Written by: Jérôme Rey, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight thin their area of expertise.
Connection: Trust involves the ability to connect with other people and build intimate relationships. People with impaired trust may have difficulty engaging with others and making connections.
Self-regulation: A healthy trust enables you to regulate your own emotions and needs and to deal with stress. People with impaired trust may have difficulty self-soothing and may be more prone to emotional dysregulation.
Self-worth: The feeling of self-worth is closely linked to trust. People with a strong sense of trust develop a healthy sense of self-worth, while those with impaired trust may suffer from low self-esteem.
It exists within
Trust is always present deep in our core. No matter how bad life's circumstances can be, there is always a safe place of trust within us. When we are connected to this place, it feels like coming home. Some people describe it as awakening. This place is not physical, although it can be felt in the body. Your soul works through this place! We cannot reach this place with performance or money, but only with absolute unintentional mindfulness and love, experienced in our consciousness. It is the being aware of where we come from, our true home – what we really are!
Mitakuye Oyasin from the language of the Lakota Indians means something like:
"We are all connected with each other" or "we are all related". Indigenous peoples still had an awareness of their connection with all living beings and saw themselves as an integral part of this nature. They knew that we are all part of a greater whole and that each individual can contribute to maintaining balance and harmony in the universe.
Mitakuye Oyasin reminds us that we are all connected, all coming from the same source and that respect, love and mindfulness are of crucial importance not only for humans but also for all of creation.
What sounds like a fairy tale from 1001 nights to some, is the most natural thing in the world for those who have never been separated from this connected BEING, or have rediscovered it, the natural divine BEING, the source that works through all of us!
Are we born with trust?
As babies we need to trust that the world is safe and that our basic needs will be met. Insofar as loving care, pregnancy and a safe environment are experienced, we remain in trust and form a healthy relationship with ourselves, with the world and with our essential vehicle on earth, our physical body.
A positive and supportive environment in the first years of life is therefore the basis for a healthy and fulfilling relationship and contact experience.
During this phase, we not only learn how our most important reference person, such as parents and caregivers, perceive our needs, but also how they themselves are in contact with their own needs and can communicate these. It is a formative process that involves not only external care, but also emotional resonance, the level of needs, the way we communicate and how we deal with conflicts.
Through these contacts, an inner map is formed within us, a very concrete inner movie with the content: What relationship means to us! From the latest findings of trauma therapy, the early childhood experiences of bonding and development are particularly influential, even before our ego consciousness has really developed. This movie is then stored deep in our subconscious. However, hardly anyone remembers it in later years. In most people's memories this relationship movie is not stored positively! Instead, the movie ends with a negative outcome, such as being abandoned, ignored, attacked or manipulated. From the point of the view of a child's consciousness, these are all life-threatening situations.
As a child, we would need an environment that accepts us attentively and unconditionally, just as we are. This would be of crucial importance so that we can embrace ourselves 100% as we are! We would then not tie our value to a specific behaviour or performance.
As most human nations today have been disconnected for many generations from their inner connection, from their deep trust in nature, in the source, so that life is characterized more by lack than by abundance, this relationship information is automatically and usually unconsciously and unintentionally passed on to the next generations.
These bonding disorders lead to various identifications and beliefs that significantly influence our self-image and interpersonal relationships. Here are some examples:
"I am not lovable": A lack of emotional care during bonding development can lead someone to believe they are not valuable or lovable.
"Others will leave me": Unstable relationships in childhood can lead to the belief that other people are unreliable and will eventually leave you.
"I can't trust anyone": Disappointments or neglect in childhood can lead to a deep mistrust of others and reinforce the belief that interpersonal relationships are unreliable.
"I'm on my own": If parental support is lacking, someone may develop the belief that they have to take care of their own needs and cannot expect support from others.
"Conflicts are dangerous": In an environment where conflict is not dealt with appropriately, someone may develop the belief that conflicts are dangerous or threatening and should be avoided.
"I am not able to bond with others": Difficulties in childhood to form bonds can lead to the belief that it is difficult or impossible to bond emotionally with others.
These beliefs are deeply ingrained and influence the way we see others and ourselves and how we relate to interpersonal relationships. To avoid being hurt again, these beliefs are very effective in preventing real closeness. Instead, we learn to disguise ourselves, to over-adapt, or to isolate ourselves. These beliefs usually seem to be set in stone, but in reality, they can be changed through "awareness work", therapeutic intervention and self-reflection.
How can we find our way back to trust?
In the latest trauma therapeutic methods, work is done to heal disturbed trust and to restore the abilities for connection, self-regulation and self-esteem development. This happens especially on the relationship level between the therapist and the client. In the therapeutic relationship, this happens through mindful and authentic contact in the here and now.
In this connection, it is essentially a matter of dissolving the old relationship film and the resulting identifications and beliefs that we project onto the world, and of getting back in touch with our natural impulses and needs and then bringing them into communication.
It is important to understand that even the most terrible and destructive behaviours have their origin in the rejection of the true SELF, our deep inner nature. If we look at the world today, how people interact with each other in politics and business, how conflicts are handled, and how even in personality development there is an urge of self-optimization delusion, then one thing is clear: we are collectively traumatized and we lack deep in (self) love. A humanity trapped in illusions and seemingly cut off from the Source. And yet it is still there, the source!
We can support each other.
Making genuine and deep connections not only helps to calm our nervous system, but also to experience higher vibrational states of consciousness.
Communicating feelings and needs brings the power back into our bodies. Honest communication, according to Gopal, is a wonderful method. With this method, we can learn how to deal naturally with the three levels: Body, Emotions, Thoughts and to regain. Under this link you will find a detailed description of this method:
Common rituals, singing and dancing strengthen the connection, enables a positive experience with other people and takes us away from loneliness to a new experience of closeness and connectedness. This in turn leads us to an increased trust and simple acceptance of who we are.
In summary, we can say that trust can be restored by new experiences of positive bonding. Through these new experiences we can reduce our greatest fears, namely those of real closeness and contact. Thereby we can finally experience, that it is good to simply be ourselves, that we have always been right at the core.
Mindful communication and shared spaces of authentic exchange enable positive experiences, promote deep connection, autonomy and new potential can unfold through us humans. People who are capable of genuine closeness experience themselves in contact with their own needs, can also be mindful of the needs of others. Our fellow human beings are no longer perceived (consciously or unconsciously) as a threat and so we get out of competition and power struggles. We no longer have to expend unnecessary energy to protect ourselves from others! We are automatically back in touch with our natural curiosity and can unfold our wonderful potential as sentient, creative, inventively and particularly cooperative beings.
Transformation - Time - To remember
Perhaps all of this is part of the divine plan of creation. We forget what we are at the core, learning from a young age what and who we should be (conditionings), to let go of it all over again and to remember in the depth who we really are.
In this path of initiation, the incarnation on earth, we are like little children who can learn to grow in peace and love every day. Little by little we will remember that we are masters of creation! We will be able to take our place on earth naturally and raise everything we touch to higher frequencies and transform it into love by recognizing.
We are all on our way home, not to a place, but to our very own soul, a new consciousness with which we fully accept ourselves and others, see and recognize ourselves in perfection just as we are. It is a place of self-acceptance and deep understanding of our beauty and uniqueness, as well as recognizing the preciousness of every living being.
In this awareness, we remember the inner beauty and depth of our soul. We let go of the illusions of our individual path and naturally recognize ourselves as one, connected and free in the "Divine" flow. In this unity we blossom, unfold our true splendour and radiate love. We recognize ourselves and discover what we have always been searching for. A profound peace spreads within us, we have arrived in trust.
Every living being is essential and precious. We have all been chosen by the nature to embody our own wonderful essence and to live paradise on earth!
Jérôme Rey, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jérôme is undoubtedly a charismatic and passionate holistic therapist of the new age! At the heart of his work is: Live and embody your essence – He draws on decades of his own personal experiences with shamans, healers and therapists as well as years of experience in dealing with trauma. His profound knowledge is based on extensive training in the field of trauma therapy and spirituality. This broad spectrum of personal experience and professional knowledge forms the basis of his professional work and enables him to accompany people on their path of healing and personal growth.
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