Written by: Sharna Southan, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
You can Rewind & Reprogram the trigger response!
Two words that precede people wanting to talk about Pregnancy Loss or Subsequent Pregnancies after loss.
In case they set someone off on a downward emotional spiral. In case they offend or hurt someone.
I want to bring people's attention to triggers & get them to Reflect & Reframe Triggers.
We can’t help how society will react to something that is said, and that is not our job.
Again - It is not our job to worry about how people will perceive what we say.
Everyone views their life through their own perception. Their own tinted lens.
Because that’s all our life is, it is our perception of it.
Example: You could have two people witness an accident & these two people will have two different recalls of the event.
It is also our meaning. And by this, I mean, You give meaning to everything you encounter in your life.
Whether that is a fallen brown Autumn Leaves on a cool Autumn day.
Or Whether it is that ‘Trigger.’ That trigger has meaning to you.
Why?
What does it mean?
It is in the Understanding that you can start to heal this part of you.
A trigger is an Internal calling for help from within you. It is a chance for you to embrace yourself on a deeper level. It is a chance for you to peel back those onion layers. To sit with the rawness of yourself & Understand yourself.
Because unfortunately, with triggers, You can’t escape them. You can’t hide from them. Unless you want to lock yourself away from humanity!
But that’s a tad extreme... right?
Triggers are bringing your awareness to what needs to be healed within you.
It is not the other person that needs to change.
It is calling you to go inwards.
It is a wound that is asking for your attention.
These Wounds can be created when you were a child, unknowingly, & through no ones ‘fault,’ they are wounds we carry into our adult life. And don’t worry, we all have wounds that we all carry around. That person sitting next to you does. That person walking by you does. It is just bringing awareness to them.
And your Body & mind will bring attention to them when It feels you are ready to see them, to process them & feel them.
It won’t ever be a comfortable experience, you will think it is too painful to acknowledge, but the comfort does not come by ignoring them.
Unfortunately, life for others doesn’t stop when you are grieving, as much as you want to totally avoid hearing these things or seeing what you're seeing but aren’t ready to see.
Something someone says or does unintentionally triggers something within you, stirring up a feeling or emotion or thoughts.
It’s also important to note, and it doesn’t have to pertain to loss. Triggers are everywhere in everyone's day-to-day life. People get triggered all the time by everyday happenings. This is for you too! To pay attention to, too.
Do you have the tools to work through the triggers?
If you don’t, I want you to know that's okay.
Feel it, sit with it & acknowledge it for yourself.
You can rewind - Before any behavior or reaction, there is first a circumstance (a trigger).
A feeling and a meaning that we then assign to that circumstance.
The empowering part is, we can choose what that meaning is.
Our past assigns meanings to a trigger before we even realize it, and before we know it, we’re in a reaction. Because something happened to you in the past & it potentially hurt you, you will react again out of that place. This process is split seconds, but we can choose again the next time it presents. If you don’t want to react, you want to respond from a place of power. You can consciously choose differently.
I was listening to a talk recently, and she said something very profound about triggers and healing.
“A trigger being a big emotion, a big reaction or wound that gets activated in you and rises up based on something someone else has said or done or you’ve noticed around you. When we get triggered, it's super easy to blame the trigger, get angry or upset at the thing that's caused us to feel this way, but we miss the opportunity to heal when we do that. And I want you to see what is triggering in you right now, what is rising up, be it an emotion or a reaction, an inner story, it already existed within you. That person or situation didn't create it or make you feel that way. They simply activated something within you.”
Now we have the chance to Heal this part of our story.
We can look at it, see it for what it is & we can choose to LOVE on that part of us.
Choosing to acknowledge the triggers as a part of you to be loved on & healed is starting your healing & ascension journey.
It is starting to see yourself as a holistic being. Loving on the light & dark sides of you. Accepting yourself as you are triggers, wounds, and all. Your authentic self in all your divineness & Oneness.
Note: Triggers aren’t to be avoided. They aren’t here to hurt you. They aren’t coming, so you can place blame on someone else. They are a cry for help & healing.
They are your responsibility. It is your responsibility now to heal that part of you.
Once you can give yourself the space for your own healing, you will notice so much in your life start to shift.
We need to start Inviting people to look at their Reactions. If you are one to place a ‘Trigger warning’ Or to be Triggered;
What is it you or they are reacting to?
Invite them to explore their emotions.
What is underneath it all?
Be Proactive in this part and guide people to start looking at their emotional health.
Teaching people that it is okay to be triggered is safe to be triggered because it is a part of our healing journey.
Big Love xx
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Sharna Southan, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Sharna is an ICF-certified Coach & Self Healing Spiral Practitioner. After her experience with Grief through the Loss of her Dad & a Miscarriage, Sharna knew this was an opportunity to grow her soul & designed ways to heal through the different types of grief. Sharna saw the need for more support in the Pregnancy Loss space. She Founded 'The Institute of Healing through Pregnancy Loss' & became a Business Mentor for women who have experienced Pregnancy or Infant loss & had an inner knowing they are destined for more. So women can uncover their purpose (soul's blueprint), step into their power, create values & soul-aligned business & live a life true to their heart & higher calling in life. Sharna has designed a method to uncovering your purpose & teaches her signature healing through a loss framework alongside a business model to monetize your purpose. Teaching a values-aligned business model & signature healing framework create more empowered women leaders who can provide a safe space for women to reconnect to their divine self & start their healing after Pregnancy or Infant loss. Her mission is to create more accessible support for women to heal specific to pregnancy or infant loss.
