Written by: Samantha Leske, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It’s something we all hold within. Some are very aware, and others are still disconnected from their personal experiences. There is no judgment either way.
Trauma does this. It keeps us looping out, either repeating the same situations over. or it places us on the consistent lookout for it to try to avoid it.
Assuming you are aware, if you’re not, you may just assume it’s a family trait and get on with it.
It may be downright obvious what the traumatic incident was, or it may be hidden behind our love for our parents. Or our own wanting to be normal; seriously, what is “normal “ anyway?
To not be the spectacle in the room?
When I grew up, I wasn’t allowed a voice. My parents were to be respected regardless. I thought that everything that happened was “normal, “ and my experience was the same as everyone else.
It wasn’t until I was raising my 13-year-old brother at the ripe old age of 16, and both parents had walked away, that I began to see very clearly my experience was not the same as others.
Then when I was raising my own child, I began to reflect on what experiences and expectations my parents had of me and what I wanted for my child.
What I believed to be kind and loving.
Oh, boy, was there a huge difference!
This began the understanding of the abuse I had really experienced. It wasn’t until another 5 years after that that I understood the depth of the trauma I was holding.
Over the years, as they have sporadically made an appearance, it was always filled with an expectation to conform to how the family has done things.
They hadn’t been there for many years, but they still expected me to play the role they had created for me. (scapegoat)
This is how trauma flows freely down the familial lines. There is a disconnect from the older generation where they can’t see or feel how their behavior impacts those expecting to receive it.
They believe their need; their right is of more value/importance, it can even be taken as far as “ you are disrespecting the family if you don’t...”
Children (even adult children) not having the ability to say no, not feeling like they have an option to do things their way (following their own intuition) not being able to go against “tradition “ is exactly how trauma freely flows from one generation to the next and this is before we consider it was running through our DNA.
Those around us not hearing our needs and wants trauma
Those around us that put us down creates trauma
Those around us that don’t take responsibility for the things they have done to hurt us and then either deny it or tell us that we have blown it out of proportion create trauma and are gaslighting us.
And this is before we mention any kinds of abuse- physical, mental, emotional, sexual, or spiritual.
Trauma is, by definition, energy (or an event) that has created an energy block that has no way of being resolved.
This is why our childhoods are often a place where trauma is experienced- we as children are dependent upon our tribe for survival, we have to conform literally, regardless of how we feel about it.
To be someone who ends these cycles, you have to see the experience for what it is. It’s not about deciding your parents were aresholes (maybe they were?) and never seeing them again. This may be necessary for your own safety and healing.
It’s about being real about your personal experiences and how they made you feel. To feel safe to participate in this self-reflection and not feel guilty for it.
We need to remember, hurt people, hurt people.
Our parents hold trauma within them too. Until someone within your family line has the courage to be the one, it will flow freely to the next generation.
What does the one look like?
The black sheep. They do everything differently. They may appear difficult and want to do things their own way.
They may say no when everyone else says yes.
They are able to set boundaries and aren’t too fussed about how others feel about them.
They have often made a declaration either out loud or to themselves that it will stop with them.
They are also doing a few huge things at once.
Creating a new way to parent and refusing for the old stuff to flow through to their kids.
They are also simultaneously working on themselves, so they can heal their own experiences and not unconsciously pass down their wounds to their children.
They are often doing it solo if they’ve had to walk away from their family, or if they haven’t, they could still be copping crap about “doing things differently. “
They may feel isolated but also know it’s important to make this stand.
It’s not for the faint of heart.
It’s often not even seen as a choice by those doing it.
It’s a clear knowledge of where they have come from and knowing if they don’t create a stopping point. It’s going to flow to their children too.
Those that have made this declaration are the change-makers and the warriors of our generation.
In every piece of work we do, we heal ourselves, and the healing flows to those who came before us and prevented it from flowing down to our children.
Trauma comes in many forms.
Regardless of how it was created, it does a few things.
It keeps those who hold it stuck and looping.
It creates attraction points within, so it keeps those loops flowing. If you don’t resolve it, you will get to watch your children experience it. Guaranteed.
It keeps you locked in a lower vibration, thinking you are less than and not worthy.
You emit a certain vibration that feeds lower-level beings. Yes, you read that correctly; this is just one reason why developing your psychic vision is so important, so you can see for yourself what’s going on.
What I know after doing this work for 13 years is that everyone holds some form of trauma.
It is possible to heal even the most horrendous experiences.
You have to feel safe to heal it.
You are worthy of not holding this any longer.
Your life will improve greatly in ways you never expected once you have released your trauma.
It doesn’t need to take years of therapy to take your power back and truly heal.
Often we have held it so long; we don’t remember how heavy it is.
Ever filled a glass of water and extended your arm out from your body? Now imagine that glass of water is your trauma and now hold that glass for the same amount of time you’ve hidden your trauma; tired yet?
You get to decide when you are ready and with whom you feel safe enough to do the work with. However, the trauma stays and continues to play out in your own private loop until you decide. I am worthy of being free.
We don’t have a choice as children, but we do have a choice as adults how long we hold this energy and experience within our lives.
Your life
Your personal power
Your loop
Your choice.
If you’re ready to let go, and put your glasses down, and discover life without your trauma leading the way, my services can be found here https://nurtureyouhealyou.com/.
Samantha Leske, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Samantha Leske is a Spiritual Healer and the CEO of Nurture you, Heal you.
She specializes in trauma/ shadow work and teaching women how to love themselves unconditionally. After working in the industry for over 12 years, she has a varied skill set that allows the healings she offers to incorporate all levels of a soul's journey from this life to past and birthing timelines.
Samantha has recently become the best-selling author on Amazon from her contribution to the multi-author book "Intuitive, knowing her truth."
Her goals in life are to live a quiet rural life with her children and animals while engaging in her soul-led mission - to help as many people awaken and heal. Loving them while they come home to themselves and their own unconditional love and acceptance for themselves. To actively be a part of the solution.
