Written by Junaid Khan, Life Coach
Holistic Life Strategist | Mindset, Resilience & High-Performance Expert | Guiding Transformations in Health, Wealth, and Relationships.
An intriguing concept called "rapid transformation." Although the phrase itself seems straightforward, it was meant to imply more than a quick fix; it was about genuinely shifting your internal state. The term "state of being" emerged as more accurate and encompassing, representing not just a temporary mood but your deeper, authentic self. Understanding your "state of being" involves looking beyond superficial emotions or temporary moods into a profound awareness of who you truly are.
When you think about your mood, your behavior, and your inner world, what comes to mind? Do you feel in control, or are you at the mercy of external circumstances and the people around you?
In a recent workshop, I shared insights on how we can rapidly shift our state, our mood, emotions, and behaviors, by understanding the profound connection between our physiology and psychology. I'd love to take you on this journey too, exploring how changing your internal state can transform your external reality.
Your state vs. your being
First, let's distinguish two critical concepts: state and being. Your state refers to your immediate mood, the emotional outfit you wear at a particular moment. It's how you look, act, and interact at that specific time. Imagine it as clothes you put on in the morning, reflecting how you feel right then.
Your being, on the other hand, is deeper. It's who you genuinely are underneath these temporary states. Your being is your authentic self, your true identity, not swayed easily by external influences. It's your natural immunity against life's stresses, your core strength that shapes your outer world effortlessly. Like your body's immune system protecting you from illness, a strong inner being shields you from emotional ups and downs.
Symptoms vs. immunity: Understanding the real problem
When you visit a doctor with symptoms, they often treat only the external signs of illness, rarely addressing the deeper cause. Similarly, your daily frustrations, stress, anxiety, and depression are symptoms indicating something deeper. If we continually treat these surface-level symptoms, we may temporarily feel better, but the root remains untouched.
Building a stronger inner state, your emotional immunity, is vital. If your internal foundation is solid, external circumstances cannot significantly sway your mood.
Rapid transformation through physiology
Here’s a simple yet powerful secret: your physiology directly influences your psychology.
Consider this: Can you genuinely smile, raise your arms in triumph, and simultaneously feel miserable? Can you slump your shoulders, lower your head, and feel unstoppable? Of course not. Your body posture, breathing, facial expressions, and even muscle tension profoundly affect your emotional and mental state.
Try this simple experiment right now:
First, tense every muscle in your body, clench your fists, tighten your abdomen, lift your chin confidently, raise your arms high, and repeatedly say out loud, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"
Hold this energized posture. Now, just try to feel sad or depressed. You’ll notice it’s impossible. This demonstrates how deeply your physiology shapes your mental state.
Conversely, think of something discouraging, letting your body slump. Instantly, your mood dips. Your mind and body are inseparable in shaping your reality.
Understanding emotions as living beings
Emotions are not abstract; they are alive within us. A negative emotion arises from an argument you thought you resolved, only to resurface later. Why? Because emotions, especially negative ones, want to stay alive. Research indicates that negative emotions are at least four times stronger than positive ones due to our evolutionary bias.
What keeps them alive? We do. By continuously revisiting these emotions, we fuel their existence. But we can consciously choose to break this cycle.
Protecting your energy field
Ever encountered "energy vampires," people who drain your emotional reserves? You leave their presence feeling exhausted, depleted. Why does this happen? It occurs only when there are gaps in your internal energy field.
Imagine yourself protected by an invisible shield. When you have strong emotional immunity, no external negativity can penetrate. However, when there are holes due to unresolved internal issues, negativity easily slips through.
Understanding your own boundaries and consciously strengthening your inner emotional muscle protects you from external negativity. It's your responsibility, no one else's, to set healthy emotional boundaries and preserve your inner peace.
Love vs. affection, complying vs. defying: Are you truly motivated?
Let's clarify another powerful distinction: love and affection. Love often carries implicit expectations. Affection, however, is kindness without conditions or expectations. Genuine affection is profound, touching people deeply without demanding anything in return. In your relationships, consciously choose to offer affection. Small acts of unconditional kindness can transform lives profoundly. Affection creates lasting emotional imprints, nurturing genuine connections.
True happiness and peace are fundamentally different from momentary pleasures. Pleasure is fleeting and dependent on external circumstances. Real happiness, however, is a profound state of inner peace and joy, often derived from genuine affection, acts of kindness without expectation of reward or reciprocity. This contrasts significantly with transactional interactions or relationships driven primarily by external rewards or avoidance of punishment.
Speaking of motivations, most human actions are driven either by compliance or defiance. Both are external motivators rooted in responding to demands or expectations from others. Authentic motivation, however, originates within, free from external pressures. This intrinsic motivation is what drives artists to create masterpieces, not for fame or wealth, but simply for the love and joy of creating. Identifying your intrinsic motivations, those activities you undertake purely because they resonate deeply within you, is critical for experiencing true fulfillment.
Reflect on your life's motivations. From childhood, we are trained to comply, seeking approval and reward, or defy, resisting rules and expectations. Both compliance and defiance originate externally. If your primary motivations involve gaining reward or avoiding punishment, you haven't yet discovered your intrinsic motivation, doing things purely because they resonate deeply with who you truly are.
Authentic motivation arises from engaging in activities for their own sake, absorbed entirely in the process itself.
The power of your expression: Your ultimate tool
Here is perhaps the most powerful takeaway: The most important thing in life is the expression on your face. It indicates where you are right now in your life’s journey, not only where you are, but where you choose to be.
Imagine walking into your workplace with an expression of confidence and joy. You'll instantly influence your environment positively. Your expression is your greatest emotional tool, signaling your internal strength to the world around you.
Practice adopting positive, empowering expressions. Let your facial expression reflect who you truly are, not just how you temporarily feel.
Memory, the body, and emotional mastery
Every experience, positive or negative, imprints itself in your body’s memory. These stored memories shape your reactions, feelings, and interactions. By consciously recalling positive experiences and feeling them physically, you can overwrite negative states instantly. Here's how:
Close your eyes and vividly recall an exceptionally joyful moment.
Feel what you felt, hear what you heard, see what you saw.
Notice your breathing, posture, and expression.
Anchor this powerful memory physically by placing your hand on the body part where you feel it strongly.
Any time negativity arises, assume this posture and recall this feeling vividly. You'll find that negativity cannot sustain itself in this empowered state.
Conclusion: The choice is yours
Life is full of external factors beyond your control, much like weather conditions. You cannot demand the rain to stop, but you can wear a raincoat and carry an umbrella. Likewise, people around you will behave unpredictably. Your power lies in how you prepare and respond internally.
You alone decide your internal climate. You alone control your emotional state through your physiology, mindset, and intrinsic motivation. You can choose to live powerfully, authentically, and joyfully.
When you take responsibility for your emotional health, you naturally become a beacon for others. Your empowered state can uplift those around you effortlessly.
Choose today to embody your most authentic self. Wear your inner strength with pride, carry yourself with confidence, and allow your true being to positively influence the world around you.
After all, your emotional state isn’t just about where you are; it’s about where you decide to be.
Read more from Junaid Khan
Junaid Khan, Life Coach
I’ve dedicated my life to helping individuals and groups break through barriers and restore harmony in their personal and professional lives. My approach goes beyond quick fixes—it’s about understanding the deeper patterns that shape your mindset, relationships, and decisions. With a unique blend of skills in Mental Health, NLP, Hypnosis, Neuroscience, and the art of communication, I guide you through transformation with empathy, clarity, and purpose.
