Tanya Cole-Lesnick is a psychotherapist turned personal development coach with over thirty years of professional experience. She started her career in a different direction—graphic design—but when she explored therapy for her personal development it changed everything. She started with individual therapy, which was incredibly healing right away. Early on in that journey, her therapist, Bonnie, encouraged her to give group therapy a chance. Feeling apprehensive but intrigued, Tanya tried it. The combination of individual and group therapy (both with Bonnie) was so powerful that it transformed her life. And it led to Tanya discovering a calling—to help people have transformations of their own.
Over the thirty years of professional experience, as she learned what resonates with her clients and what leads to lasting change, the way that Tanya works has evolved. From those experiences, Tanya has developed multiple ways of supporting her clients’ personal growth journeys—including individual work, group work, a course, an app, and retreats. Her offerings are customizable as honoring each person’s unique journey is a key theme in her work.
Tanya Cole-Lesnick, Personal Development Coach
Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today.
Ugh, it was a tough moment for me. A man said something to me in my second group therapy session that really stung. I had expressed why I was there—that I was looking for a serious long-term love relationship and not understanding why it wasn’t happening for me—and he said “I could sense your neediness immediately.” There it was, something I had been afraid of, said point blank, with no hesitation. My vulnerability was met with bluntness, which I needed to hear, but was afraid to. I wanted to run out of the room and not come back. But I didn’t. And I kept showing up.
That—sharing my inner world with other people sharing theirs—changed my life. So much so that I met and married my husband while I healed old narratives that convinced me of terrible things. Especially the one that had gotten in the way of deep love for so long. The one that suggested that perhaps I wasn’t finding a partner to love because I wasn’t loveable.
However, participating in group therapy changed all that. It helped me heal, and in the process to fall in love with myself. Which allowed others to fall in love with me too. It had such a powerful impact on me that I decided to dedicate my life to helping others heal in the way that I had.
I was in my mid-twenties, early in my graphic design career. Switching gears meant that I had a pretty long journey ahead of me, but I wasn’t deterred. My heart was guiding me now and this new direction felt right. It mattered. So I went back to school and got my Master’s Degree in Social Work from New York University.
What specific goals/vision do you aim to achieve?
In my work as a therapist and coach for three decades, I have had the honor of a front-row seat to hundreds of personal growth journeys. I have witnessed a lot of pain and dissatisfaction with the lives that my clients were living. Beautiful people who were longing for something different than what they were experiencing.
I have also witnessed various ways that my clients have engaged in their personal growth journeys. Some efforts led to growth and change that had some real movement and flow, while other efforts seemed to keep things more stagnant.
These experiences prompted me to coin the term Energetic Clutter, as I saw how much it got in the way for people. Energetic Clutter consists of the things that consume our time, focus, and energy without contributing to our growth, meaning, or desired feelings. Most of this is made up of the limiting beliefs we each carry and the behaviors paired with those beliefs, originally set in motion to keep us safe. (Click the link to my website to see the animation Energetic Clutter Explained, for a more complete explanation of this concept.)
My vision is to offer various tools that help anyone longing for growth and change support their journey in ways that resonate for them. And in ways that are effective. There’s nothing more frustrating and disheartening than putting huge amounts of energy towards something that only depletes us without moving us any closer to what we’re longing for.
What services do you offer? Why?
Activate coaching program
The Activate coaching program offers an individual coaching component, which helps clients start the process of getting clear about what’s in the way or holding them back, and what it is they’re longing for. These sessions allow Tanya and each client to get to know each other on a deep level. Most people start here and the frequency of sessions is customized based on need. Sessions are virtual.
The Activate coaching program also offers a group coaching component, which allows clients to have some very powerful experiences—gain different perspectives, know they’re not alone, and touch on unconscious stuff, to name a few. This component acts as a microcosm of our social relationships and life outside of our circle, offering a unique chance to work on the big life things in a smaller and safer setting, before bringing these lessons out into the world. Together, Tanya and each client, decide when the right time is to add this component. The groups are virtual and offered every other week.
The unlimiting app
The Unlimiting App helps users to track pain points, capture feelings in the moment, and ground themselves when feeling dysregulated. It is designed to help users set meaningful goals, uncover key insights, and build habits that align with the lives they want to create. It’s a tool for exploring what matters most to each person and unlocking their full potential. This app is a partner in personal growth, helping users build a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
Your brilliance in action course
This course helps participants to dive deeper into their lives and learn how to clear the Energetic Clutter taking up mental space and precious energy. The course, Your Brilliance in Action (which will be available January 2025), helps participants do four key and life-changing things:
Identify energetic clutter
Clear energetic clutter
Access their hearts and intuition
Live lives with intention
With composite client examples, how-tos, writing/thinking prompts, and suggested personal growth objectives, participants will learn how to see and activate their true brilliance. This course is offered with the app as a companion tool, which amplifies movement forward.
Retreats
My retreats are in-person and designed to offer a multi-layered experience, inviting participants to go deep, be vulnerable, be seen, share their stories, get clear, bond, have fun, laugh, eat, relax, take care of themselves, and ultimately do some growing that will help to propel their journey forward.
We work on letting go of negative narratives, patterns, and beliefs; fine-tuning our visions for what we long for in our lives; and setting goals to better align the lives we’re living with the lives that we want to be living.
Retreats have a special place in my heart. In addition to the growth they offer participants, the connection and love that is consistently a part of each group that comes together is such a beautiful and powerful part of the experience.
What are some key themes you see with your clients?
Key themes I observe with my clients include being stuck in patterns that don’t serve them and experiencing feelings of overwhelm, irritability, and resentment. Many also lack a sense of joy and peace. Most of this is related to limiting beliefs and entrenched behaviors—put in place to keep them safe in childhood in response to messaging learned in the families and cultures they grew up in. There are an infinite number of limiting beliefs, and we all have our own nuanced versions, but I see many common ones amongst my clients—the need to hustle for worth, not being enough, that we will be abandoned if we don’t please others, etc.—which is why I coined the concept of Energetic Clutter and have made this the primary focus of my work.
Why do you think that you are equipped to help people with this journey?
I believe I am equipped to support people on this journey because, with over 30 years of experience as a therapist turned personal development coach, I’ve had the privilege of guiding countless individuals through transformative processes. My approach is grounded in a deep understanding of the complexities of personal growth, and I’m committed to being fully present in each client’s journey. I am in this process with you, being human is a tricky business, and I understand that. I practice what I preach—I believe a personal growth journey is lifelong and am on my journey as well. As we grow and evolve new things get uncovered. Continuing to grow through each experience allows us to move through our lives by having full experiences and reaching meaningful goals.
For readers inspired by this conversation and eager to start their journey, what first steps would you recommend?
I invite anyone who feels inspired by this conversation to schedule a free Discovery Session with me, using the website link provided. This initial chat will be an opportunity for us to dive into your unique goals, challenges, and aspirations. Together, we’ll explore what you envision for your life and how coaching can support you in achieving that vision. Whether you're seeking clarity, personal growth, or specific breakthroughs, this session is a space for you to share openly, and for us to discover how I can best support you on your journey.
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