Written by: Kimberly Schehrer, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Life is a balancing act. It is filled with things that we can’t control and those that we can.
Balance is a point between the two extremes.
Anytime things fall out of balance, fear, concern, and anxiety jolt through our brains, removing the comfort and certainty we once had.
The unknown, change, and challenges tend to make us focus on things that will go wrong rather than those that will go right.
The greatest fear of them all, fear of the unknown, triggers the emotions in our brains, hence activating the “fight, flight, or freeze” response.
This type of response gears us up to save us from an imminent (perceived or real) threat, causing our elevated thinking capabilities to shut down.
With our brains on the verge of a face down, coupled with a mindset of fear, you can see how difficult it can be to take the steering wheel of your own life.
Can you imagine how this terrible combination can throw a teen off-balance in a deep and burdensome way?
In working with teens and their parents, I have developed techniques and strategies to help them regain their balance and, often, move forward in new and exciting ways in school and in life.
How Can We Change Our Mindset to bring Ourselves back into Balance?
Supervise Your Emotions
Supervising or managing your emotions is a skill, and because of that, it needs constant practice and dedication.
Our mind continually searches for new ideas, opportunities, and avenues throughout the day.
We can’t control a thought that instantly pops into our minds, but we can reevaluate it so that it does not trigger long-lasting unpleasant emotions.
You can train your mind to be stronger than your emotions, or else you may lose yourself every single time.
Become an Objective Investigator
Anxiety and fear tend to exacerbate our rumination of what can go wrong, causing us to panic.
Take a moment and pause. Refrain from believing everything you’re hearing or seeing.
Learn to become more aware of what gets filtered or conditioned into your mind.
Get out of the fear mindset by acknowledging the fear. Then, choose to focus on what you can control. Be curious and move on to an observer’s mindset.
Look at things differently.
Weigh all the information in front of you, then decide what you will believe and what will serve you positively.
Be More Optimistic Most of the stuff we fear or worry about never happen. One of the acronyms for fear is:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real.
Separate the truth from your fears, concerns, and anxieties and then ask yourself:
Am I remaining objective and making good decisions about how I will handle this situation?
What can I find in this uncertain situation that will bring me into an even better place?
Every time you think of ways, you can respond with greater clarity, intention, and solid strategies, you will regain hope, confidence, and a sense of control.
Optimism fuels you to move forward toward that which will bring you back into balance.
Embrace optimism, and always remember that it will be ok.
Support Possibilities, Not Judgments
What is true for me may not necessarily be true for you.
This step is about owning your values, quirks, strengths, and challenges as aspects of YOU. It is about self-acceptance and not self-criticism or comparisons to others.
It is about accepting your uniqueness and not clinging to judgments from others.
The more you can tap into the real you, the more you can experience your full potential.
I usually talk to the teens I work with about sneaky judgments. These are judgments that we make based on:
Our past experiences
Outside influences
Beliefs
And those that reside deep in our subconscious minds.
We tend to think we are judging out of objective truth, but in fact, we are judging based on our fears and biases.
Neutralizing your “Judgement Zone” is one of the best ways that you can use to achieve equilibrium. Here’s how:
Awareness - The very first step is to become aware of your sneaky judgments by pausing and resetting (all with self-love).
Positive mental attitude - Have a positive outlook on life. Even if things aren’t going according to plan, find something positive.
Integrity - See it for what it is, not what you want it to be. Know why you’re making the judgment — is it saying more about you than about the person or situation you are judging?
“Falling into balance” is nothing more than a leap of faith — in yourself and the possibility of something new and a better future. You get to choose to make the leap or remain in fear.
Kimberly Schehrer, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dr. Kimberly Schehrer is a Teen Breakthrough Expert and Founder of Academy for Independence. She specializes in leadership, education and personal development, focused on teens who she feels are a misunderstood group brimming with potential and promise. Through individual coaching, group programs and various international media platforms, Dr. Kimberly nurtures teens to lead their lives according to their values and with an unstoppable mindset, so they stand in their voice and confidently achieve their dreams.
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