Written by Anna Rodney, Doula and Childbirth Educator
Anna Rodney is the owner and founder of Chicago Family Doulas and Birth and Baby University. She is a leader in the perinatal field and a trusted resource for expecting families and perinatal professionals.
Heading back to work after having a baby is one of the most dreaded and daunting feelings for parents. Life is already so busy, and adding 40 more hours of responsibility each week seems nothing short of impossible. This thought alone is daunting, and when you add in the guilt, the fear, and the heartbreak with the thought of leaving your little one, it feels so completely overwhelming. It is hard; there is no way to sugarcoat that! You will need to figure out systems and routines that work best for your family. It can be manageable and successful.
As the owner of a busy doula agency, I often find myself coaching parents on how to make this transition more manageable. This transition is difficult for most, but it does not have to feel impossible and awful.
Will you ever be ready?
Emotionally, I am not sure that anyone ever feels “ready." The idea of leaving your baby and being gone or unavailable for 8-12 hours a day can be sad and worrisome for most. Having a job that you enjoy and feel excited about does make this transition much more feasible and less stressful. Many women begin re-evaluating their careers after they have a baby. Time feels so much more valuable and the idea of spending 40 or 50 hours a week, honestly any amount of time away from their baby, feels like it better be for a worthwhile reason.
Set realistic expectations
Setting realistic expectations for yourself, your baby, and your family will help you to understand this time and also help you to be gentle with yourself. Giving yourself the grace to recover, rest and bond with your little one will make all the difference immediately and in the future. I highly encourage every family to learn as much as possible during pregnancy to get a true sense of what is to be expected and what is normal. Read books, listen to podcasts and take birth, baby and breastfeeding classes during pregnancy. Knowing what is normal will not only help you to have an understanding, but it will also help you to make plans and feel more relaxed. This will help you plan for the return to work!
Plan ahead
Start thinking about your transition back to work during your pregnancy. Do not stress about it, but plan for it. How many weeks or months will you have off? What will your days look like when you return to work? Will you be allowed to work from home part-time? Starting to figure out those logistics will help you plan and enjoy your time.
Enjoy your maternity leave
I know this is easier said than done, but let others help with chores, tasks, cooking and all the things so you can spend as much time as possible with your little one. Recruit your family and friends to help and if possible, hire support to fill in gaps. Postpartum Doulas specialize in supporting families during this special time and will be an invaluable resource. If you enjoy this time, then heading back to work may not feel quite as overwhelming.
What is your feeding plan?
If you plan to continue to nurse after you return to work, then you must integrate bottles sooner rather than later. Please speak with an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) about this plan, but typically integrating at least 1 bottle of pumped milk per day starting around the one month mark or sooner will help your little one take a bottle. I have seen so many families introduce a bottle the week or weekend prior to their return to work and it can be stressful and unsuccessful. It adds enormous stress to an already very stressful situation. Please do not make this mistake.
Find systems that work and stick to them
The first month or so postpartum can often be a blur as there are so many things happening and changing. Your only job during this time is to rest, recover and bond with your baby. Once you are feeling ready, start experimenting with systems that you can put into place to make things a bit more manageable and consistent. Nothing extreme, but figuring out when you will shower, eat, cook, do laundry, check emails, have time for yourself, spend time with your husband or partner, go for a walk, exercise and head to bed can make a huge impact on not only accomplishing these things, but alleviating the stress about making these things happen. Your schedule will, of course, change dramatically when heading back to work, but you will already be used to creating consistent routines, so this will be less overwhelming. You, your baby and your family will be used to having a routine and this will make the transition back to work more manageable.
Bonus tip: Consider hiring a nanny
Nannies are able to provide consistent care to your little one/ones as you transition back to work. They can cook meals and help with household chores like laundry or grocery shopping, all while watching your children.
At the end of the day, remember that you will be an incredible parent to your baby. Stay present, appreciate the breaks from work that you do get, and truly cherish the time you spend with your family because it goes so by so quickly!
Read more from Anna Rodney
Anna Rodney, Doula and Childbirth Educator
Anna Rodney is the owner and founder of Chicago Family Doulas and Birth and Baby University. She has been a leader in the perinatal field for over a decade, and continues to grow her offerings in order to support more families and to help her colleagues grow. She supports thousands of expecting and new families each year through both of her businesses. She is a passionate leader and a force of change and inspiration for families and birth and postpartum professionals.
