Written by: Carla Cohen, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“Pain is inevitable, suffering is not. Pain is what the world does to you, suffering is what you do to yourself (by the way you think about the pain you receive).” – Buddha
Prior to 1930, stress was not something anyone recognized. The first person to identify “stress” was Dr. Hans Selye. Dr. Selye began his research in the 1930s and when his research was released, no one really understood or seemed to care about the significance of his discovery.
Dr. Selye was doing a lab experiment that tracked a specific hormone in rats. During his experiment, he was puzzled that the glandular changes he was observing in the rats, did not match the hormone he was tracking. He saw similar changes in his medical students’ glands when they were taking their exams. As a result, he concluded that it was “stress” causing the physiological “reaction” in both the students and the rats. He named it “The Stress Response.”
Like Selye’s experiment, when you are feeling stressed or anxious, it is not really the person or the situation causing the stress and anxiety. It is the fear of how you might feel – the anticipation of a projected future feeling that causes stress and anxiety. In the case of the med students, the fear of failing the exam was enough to create a cascade of stress chemicals in their body. Dr. Selye postulated that if someone was exposed to stress long enough, they would develop a kind of immunity, but what he found was that it became harder to bounce back. Prolonged stress has a physiological cost. Long-term stress can cause memory loss, high blood pressure, inflammation, sleepless nights, weight gain, digestive issues, back pain, headaches, heart issues and an increased chance of cancer.
Most people deal with the side effects of stress by taking medication and therapy. Some people exercise to let off some steam; and some do positive affirmations and visualizations. The problem is that none of these methods addresses the root cause – the underlying emotion causing the stressful thoughts.
An alternative and very effective way to heal pain, anxiety and reduce stress, is eliminating the root cause – your belief system and its associated emotional pressure. Your belief system is a collection of perceptions based on what you have learned from others, or experiences that you registered as impactful. Each perception is rooted in a corresponding emotion.
Your truth is based on your perception. Your perception is based on your point of view. The question you need to ask is whether what you believe to be true is actually true. Whether we recognize it or not, we are walking around the planet with a collection of expectations and assumptions that our truth is the same truth everyone else is experiencing or should be experiencing. We expect people, different cultures and businesses to behave in a certain way, have similar values, and when they don’t, we get angry, hurt, disappointed, or offended – that is the very definition of emotional stress. It is that moment, when our “should” meets up with “what is.”
Mata Amritanadamayi says, “You may think very highly of someone, but after some period of interaction your opinion might wane. Also, you may think someone is useless at first, but, after spending some time with them, realize how great they are. In both these cases you made someone great, and you made someone good for nothing, both are your creation, that is why you need to see everything for what it is. Understand the nature of objects and people, and then live accordingly.”
Your perception is based on beliefs. Many of your beliefs are inherited, and you may have never questioned them. Your beliefs are an accumulation of thoughts that are the result of a collection of emotions.
Emotions can also be “inherited”. Have you ever asked yourself why you feel a certain way about something? One of my clients had a very bad pain he had suffered with for 10 years. He tried going to his MD, he also went to chiropractors, acupuncturists, massage therapists and numerous other health providers. No matter what he did, his pain continued to plague him. Now, I should say, this is a very fit man. He has a pristine diet, and he has a well-sculpted physique from his years as a personal trainer. After working with him, I was able to help him release the pain in his back. The pain was due to an inherited emotion. He is a very conscious and aware man, but like most people, he had no idea there was any emotion stuck in his body. People tend to either suppress their emotions, meaning consciously put them aside, or repress their emotions, meaning push them down unconsciously.
Dr. David Hawkins was an internationally renowned psychiatrist, physician, and author, who spent years researching and measuring the frequencies associated with various states of consciousness. As a result of his work, Dr. Hawkins discovered that the cumulative pressure of those stuffed emotions causes thoughts to accumulate. One emotion can cause 10,000 thoughts or more. If we can resolve the emotion that caused the collection of thoughts, we can eliminate 10,000 thoughts – imagine the ripple effect. What would happen if you didn’t have a nebulous “something” holding you back from moving forward on something you dream about? When I catch myself procrastinating or resisting doing something, I make a habit of checking in with myself and scanning for emotions that I am unaware of.
The noise from your thoughts fills up the mind so completely that the mind stays active. The goal is to quiet the mind. The quieter the mind, the more aligned you are with your divine essence and the more peace you experience internally. The more peace you radiate internally and externally, the less resistance you are likely to attract in the world – ultimately taking your stress level down.
The National Science Foundation estimates that the average person has between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive thoughts. Unknowingly, we are constantly recycling negative thoughts that are reinforcing the same belief system that is causing us to be out of touch with “what is” and generating stress as a result.
If our belief system has set up an expectation of “if this, then that” – it keeps us out of flow. Staying attached puts us in a vibrational frequency of “suffering” or “getting by.” Detaching from your expectations helps you move into acceptance and flow. In the state of flow, you radiate love and peace naturally and attract what you need. You become like a swimmer, letting the water’s currents carry you effortlessly to your destination rather than attempting to force your will on the water and battle against the current.
Our repressed and suppressed feelings are causing the stress we are experiencing – not some outside force.
How do you change it?
You must increase your EQ – Emotional Intelligence. The first step is to consciously choose to cultivate a flexible mind. Challenge yourself to switch from your point of view to a viewpoint. Be willing to be willing.
Imagine you are an eagle, flying high above the situation. Now see if you can switch from your point of view to the other person’s viewpoint – try to see the world through their eyes. Ask yourself these questions: What might their belief system be? What might be driving their behavior? If you don’t take their response personally, how does that change your experience of the situation? If you are unable to be the eagle – try asking, with genuine curiosity, why they responded the way they did. Chances are, they will give you another viewpoint you had not considered. If you are successful with the exercise, you will cultivate compassion instead of conflict. You will also find that your stress and anxiety will decrease, moving into a state of peace.
Here are four keys that will help you reduce stress and anxiety:
Awareness – Take a time out to tune in.
Present Time – Move from projecting into the future to present time. Dial-in more deeply to what you are feeling in your body in this moment.
Recognize – Recognize you have an attachment to the outcome and be willing to let it go.
Resolve – Connect to the sensation of the emotion. Be present to the sensation in your body until it is no longer detectable – this is emotional resolution.
The world will continue to challenge you with outside circumstances. To reduce stress and anxiety and find peace, you must first make peace with the emotions that you have not resolved. This is not a painful process. When I work with my clients, I sometimes ask them if they are willing to be willing. It is a willingness to be with “what is” inside you that helps slide you into peace. Don’t think about the whole elephant. Take one bite at a time. Take time out to tune in.
“The quieter you become the more you are able to hear.” – Rumi
Carla Cohen, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Carla Sridevi Cohen is an award-winning Embodied Emotional Intelligence Healer, Coach and best-selling author. She helps female entrepreneurs achieve wealth without sacrificing their health. She specializes in coaching female entrepreneurs who are struggling with persistent anxiety, stress and pain, to heal patterns that are keeping them stuck, so they can eliminate procrastination, let go of pain, and boost their income. Her career in Hollywood with “A” list celebrities, ended with a two-year health crisis. Since Western medicine was unable to help her, Carla went on a journey to heal herself. She has synthesized her 30+ years of knowledge and experience, to help clients improve their energy, productivity, and immunity. She is the Founder of Women's Health Revolution, where she blends her business and shamanic backgrounds to achieve her vision of helping 200,000 women experience joy, new levels of success and abundance, emotional and physical health, without the use of drugs.
