Written by: LeeNor Dikel, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
In our society, we deeply underestimate the power of self-love.
What even is self-love, right?
We spend our lives growing up being told that the end goal in life is ultimately obtaining a well-paying career and “finding love.” But no one ever talks about finding self-love or what that even means.
Of course, self-love is not a one size fits all, either, and it looks different for all of us. However, the main pillars of this phenomenon are the same.
The importance of honoring your needs.
The acceptance of yourself for who you are.
Forgiving yourself for making mistakes and at the same time gently holding space for yourself to do so in the future.
Finding a passion for pursuing instead of following a path that makes you miserable.
Empowering yourself to say “no,” set boundaries, and put yourself first.
Treating yourself with kindness and speaking to yourself the way you would to someone you love.
Holding space for your needs, honoring your wants, listening to your body, seeking inner peace above all, and spending your life pursuing what truly sparks a light in your soul.
This is self-love. And it sounds amazing, right? That’s because it is. It’s thrilling, it’s liberating, and it’s empowering. So, why then, is it so underrated?
Something that I’ve noticed over and over again with my clients, with my friends, even with myself in the past is that the problem lies in the fact that our focus is always turned outwards.
“I wonder what they’re thinking. Are they judging me?”
“Will this person like my choice of clothes?”
“What will they think of my decision to take this job?”
“If I start a business, will people make fun of me?”
“If I tell my partner “no” will he/she leave me?”
“If I disagree with my friends, will they stop liking me?”
“If I stop acting like everyone else, what will happen to me?”
It’s fear. And it’s destructive. But it’s the way we are built, the way we are raised. Society profits off of our insecurities. It sells. Big companies profit off the way everyone follows the trends. That sells too.
So it’s our job to change that. To notice our thought patterns. To be intentional. And as a coach, that’s what I love to help my clients do. Because self-love will change your life. When you start living for yourself and not for anyone else, you change your life.
Why?
Because when you love yourself, when you truly, deeply love yourself, you stop letting people step on you. You set boundaries. You save SO much time by saying yes to only the things that feel good to you and no to the ones you deeply want to avoid.
You start setting your own rules. Dressing for you. Speaking up for you. Your voice starts to be heard. You become not one of many but many things in one. You start to embrace your duality, and from there, you inspire. Inspire yourself to follow your dreams, to not settle, to wait until you know you truly want something to agree to it. You don’t rush into one-sided relationships anymore, you drop toxic friendships, you detox your mind, body, your life.
When you love yourself you care enough to eat healthy, to workout, to do the things your body is right now begging you to do. You start to feel good from the inside out. You start healing things you didn’t even know needed healing.
When you love yourself, you wake up content. You start to become so comfortable in your own body, in your own mind, that you learn to love being alone, and you’re able to attract the right people into your life, people who are good for you, friendships and relationships that are mutual and healthy.
On the flip side, when you don’t love yourself, you settle. Settle for jobs you hate, for people who hurt you, and for a life that you don’t really feel like living. You’re going through the motions, but you’re not really living. You’re just existing.
Self-love is important because it opens doors. In fact, it opens a whole new world. Your mindset shifts, you begin to think more positively, attract more opportunities, and find the confidence to actually go after them. You believe you can, and you also know that if you fail at something that you’re still beyond worthy, and you love yourself all the same.
Self-love is powerful. It will literally change your life. Just imagine yourself not settling.
You are happy enough alone and so clear on what you want that you wait until you have a partner that treats you right, that you can build with, and who you never have to doubt. Because you didn’t settle.
You stop sitting at tables at which you’re the topic of conversation as soon as you get up. You stop caring about what others think and by being so authentically yourself, you attract the people you’ve been waiting for all this time, who are actually meant to be in your life.
You leave that job you hate, that career that you dread waking up for everyone morning, and you find something that makes you excited to turn off your alarm and get out of bed.
You’re finally motivated to eat right, to take care of your physical body and also your mind. All of a sudden all of the habits you had wished you had, the person you wished you could be, become your reality, become who you are.
And while you had been looking for answers everywhere else, all this time, the answer was you.
That’s the power of self-love.
LeeNor Dikel, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
LeeNor Dikel is a 1 international best selling author, accredited empowerment coach, host, and speaker. Her latest book, The Game-Changer Workbook, is a 150 page intensive for women looking to upgrade their lifestyle and go after their dreams. She is the founder of From Striving To Thriving In 90 Days, a program and course that helps individuals around the globe take their life into their own hands and to the next level. In her practice, she leads ambitious women seeking to overcome subconscious blockages, alleviate stress, and shift into the best version of themselves. She draws upon her expertise in neuro-linguistic programming, hypnosis, and mindfulness, as well as her own extensive experience in guiding her clients to move from "stuck" to empowered in every aspect of life. LeeNor works with clients to discover their purpose, break free from doubt, inaction, and insecurity, and to go after their goals without fear and hesitation holding them back. Utilizing her 3-Step Strategy For Success, she helps her clients conquer these limiting beliefs, embody self-love, and develop a game-plan that works to cultivate the lifestyle, business, and relationships that bring them joy and allow them to thrive. Her mission: to empower women around the world to overcome their limitations and live a life of abundance and success.
