Written by: Silvana Avram, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you been good this year? Have you been kind to yourself and others? If so, I hope Santa brings you everything you want. And if you think you can do better, I’d like to help with some suggestions. Let this be my Christmas gift to you!
Being kind is generally defined as being nice: friendly, generous, and considerate.
We all appreciate kindness and most of us do try our best.
But very often in our society we tend to associate kindness with acts of kindness like helping someone in need, volunteering or donating to charity.
Don’t get me wrong, doing your best to help is wonderful, and I encourage you to continue.
Yet, I believe that to affect real change, and to create a better reality, we must move from the level of doing acts of kindness to the level of being kind to ourselves and others.
Here are 3 steps, 3 practices you can start to implement daily, so you can Be kinder, experience a more permanent state of kindness, and allow it to permeate all our decisions and, ultimately, your life.
3 Steps towards being kinder to ourselves and to humanity
1. Becoming more aware of the power of our thoughts, our gestures, and our actions
Let’s face it, it is not easy to cultivate kind thoughts all the time. Our mind is so busy, thoughts come and go, emotions go up and down and, more often than not, we get caught into responding to stimuli without much time for reflection.
That’s why taking the time to reflect on this can help. We can become more aware of the power of our thoughts, understand that our thoughts are energy, that they shape reality.
We are not kind when we judge ourselves or others – even superficially.
We are not kind when we discriminate against others, consciously or unconsciously.
We are not kind when we put our interests first and behave selfishly.
We are not kind when we close our eyes and allow others to be treated unfairly.
We are not kind when we allow our planet to suffer.
We are not kind when we don’t show solidarity.
So what is the remedy?
The first step towards becoming kinder is simply understanding how our mind works – accepting that our thoughts inform our words and our gestures, and that, to be truly kind, we must try, honestly and bravely, to change the way we see the world and contribute to creating our reality.
It is enough to look at our world to understand that there is a lot of work to do.
Ultimately, we can start to cultivate genuine, lasting kindness by taking responsibility for our thoughts, words, and gestures. By constantly expanding our minds and our heart.
It is extremely important to be kind to ourselves too. Simply staying alert and making a mental note to do better next time will help us more than judging ourselves harshly and feeling despondent.
Why is it important to do this self-work? Because cultivating kindness will help us create a better life for ourselves and a better world for humanity. The world we all dream of is a world of peace, mutual understanding, and solidarity. That world can only be manifested if each one of us takes responsibility. If we decide to be at our best. At our kindest.
2. Developing forgiveness and compassion
Once we become more and more aware of our emotional reactions and our ability to actively cultivate kindness just by paying attention to what we think, say, and do, we can learn to let go of those emotions that are not helpful. Forgiveness is the kindest form of letting go. We must learn to forgive ourselves for our short comings and simply promise to do better next time.
And we must learn to apply the same principle to others.
So many conflicts and difficult situations in our lives and in our world would simply disappear if we applied forgiveness in every circumstance! Judging people for what their ancestors did, for what their family did or even for what they themselves did in the past…judging in itself is – as you remember – the very opposite of kindness. It only helps to reinforce negativity. It does not help us to be better. It does not help us to empower others. It keeps us stuck in a vicious circle of attributing blame and refusing to take responsibility.
We can learn to forgive by cultivating compassion. By seeing the humanity in the other. By accepting that they too, are trying their best, and by being patient and supportive.
There are many examples of people who have reached out to those who had inflicted terrible pain on them or their family. They all describe forgiveness as being deeply liberating and empowering.
When we learn to forgive, we embody the best in humanity.
We cannot be kind without learning to forgive.
Forgiveness is a form of kindness in action.
Compassion takes us one step further. We feel for the other, share their pain, share their aspirations too - and offer them our love in solidarity.
3. Understanding that we are all one
From forgiveness and compassion to understanding that we are all one there is only one step.
When we forgive the other, we forgive ourselves.
When we offer someone our compassion, we offer compassion to our own humanity.
As humans, we all experience the same emotions, we face the same challenges and have the same aspirations.
Accusing others or being anti – anything is, sadly, a waste of energy. The outer conflict is a mere reflection of the inner conflict we all carry.
Our world would be so much happier if we accepted the simple truth that, despite our wonderful individuality…we are all one. Separation is an illusion. We are energy. Our paths are intertwined – we have a common destiny.
This Christmas – give yourself the gift of kindness.
Be kind to yourself – to everyone around, and to humanity.
Start by paying more attention to your thoughts, to your words and to your actions.
Let go. Refrain from judging. Learn to be patient. Replace judgement with forgiveness. Open your heart to compassion. Compassion for yourself – you are trying your best. Compassion for everyone else. We are all trying our best. Really.
The most important insight to help us create a better world is realising that we have a common destiny as humanity.
If we accept that every human being on this planet is acting from their level of awareness, we understand that everyone is doing their best.
Blaming others, fuelling anger and division is tragically counterproductive.
Division, indeed, is our worst, most powerful enemy.
But how to turn our old habits and assumptions upside down and reach for unity?
Let us start by being kind.
Let us take a deep breath.
We are where we are.
There is a lot of work to do.
But we can do it. Together.
After all, we are humanity!
Silvana Avram, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Silvana Avram is a successful, Inspirational Life Coach, philosopher, author, teacher, and founder of Life Coaching with Silvana – whose mission is to empower us to embrace our uniqueness, fall in love with life, fulfill our potential and create a beautiful legacy.
Fascinated from a young age by the mystery of life and our place in the universe, Silvana has been on a quest to find her own answers to the big existential questions facing humanity. Now an acclaimed Coach and Author, she draws on her extensive study of Philosophy, Psychology, Meditation, Holistic Healing, and Spirituality to create a uniquely inspirational and empowering style of Coaching – also reflected in her Book “Being You and Loving You” in which she guides us through an unforgettable, transformative journey of self-discovery and self-love.
Convinced that we can overcome the prevalent paradigms of fear and division, Silvana has recently focussed her attention on developing a radically innovative approach, outlined in her upcoming book, “Living in Eternity” – and which has earned her an unexpected nickname: “Miss Eternity”! She argues passionately that, rather than chasing goal after goal and living for tomorrow, we should, instead, live every day, every moment, with the joy, awe, and serenity we experience when we see our lives from the perspective of Eternity. When we choose to live in Eternity, everything falls into place, everything we do takes on a different meaning, and we become aware that, as humanity, we are, in fact, constantly creating our common legacy.
Silvana’s ambition: is to inspire us to write a better story for ourselves – and for humanity – in Eternity!
