Written by: Renate Prandl, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, the responsibility lies with you” — JK Rowling.
You might not have heard this before, and you might have conveniently blamed your parents for failing or not having the success you want to have. You are not alone.
The bad news, however, is that it’s really not their responsibility any longer. They might have led you in the direction you did not want to go to, they might have influenced your thinking and self-belief in a way not aligned with your desires and goals, but it was in the past. Since you are, and I assume you are, an adult, it’s time for you to step out of the shadow of your parents or someone else you blame for your “misfortune.” Maybe it’s time now for you to step into your power, to take control over your life, to take full responsibility for your life, your decisions, and your actions.
You know, deep inside, you know, it’s really not their fault. Probably they did the best they could, and they were passing on their life blueprint. You know it’s not their fault. Are you still using them as an excuse? Are you still blaming them for your circumstances? Well, then it’s time to change this belief right now and get started tapping into your superpower, the power of choice, and make things happen for you, potentially.
So how do you start?
Where do you start?
What are the questions you might have to ask yourself to get in the direction where you want to be?
I am not different than most of you. I grew up with a very closed limited mindset, a mindset focusing on all the things I could not do, things which weren’t for “people like me/us.” Honestly speaking, it was not me who started to believe I couldn’t do many of the things I desired. My parents told me all the things I couldn’t do, all the things that were not for me. Eventually, I started to believe they were my beliefs.
The journey that followed was made up of ups and downs, frustration, anger, lots of emotions. It wasn’t easy, and I was on my own trying to figure it out. I had to be clear about what it actually was I wanted in my life and not what I did not want. I wished I had known then what I know now – get support.
Isn’t it true that sometimes we focus on what we cannot do or do not have, things that don’t work, and direct all the energy towards those things? We know that energy goes and flows where the focus is. Hence this is not a useful habit on our quest to a more fulfilled, happier, and wealthier life, wouldn’t you agree?
Personally, it took me quite a long time to realize that if I wanted to live MY life, a life on my own terms, a life by design and not a default life, I had to face the truth, my fears, uncertainties. I had to stop blaming my parents, and the hardest part of it all — I had to forgive them.
So how can you change, how can you be more successful, how can you take responsibility for your life and really move in the direction of your life by design? A life in which you, potentially, have more energy, more income, more meaningful relationships, better health, more freedom, have all the good things you want?
It’s not fair that you have to struggle and find out for yourself, so let me share the same process I teach my students. Are you ready?
Clarity
What exactly is it you really want (be very specific)?
Exercise:
It’s not like, “I want more money,” It’s how much money do you want to generate exactly and in what timeframe. If you say, for example, “I want to generate $1 million,” this might be a big dream, yet if you have not even made one dollar, it might probably not be a realistic expectation.
If you want to “make $1 million in the next three months” and you feel you can achieve this huge goal, chunk it down into more doable action steps per month.
Insider Tip: Write down what you want to use the money for it as it turns out that money flows easily if there’s a purpose attached to it. Probably you want the money to upgrade and renovate your house. How much of the $1 million will you use, and what will you use the remaining sum for? You probably need a new car, or you need more funds for healthcare. If money has a meaning attached, it’s more likely to flow towards you.
Exercise:
If it’s not Money you are after, it may be improved health. You want to lose WEIGHT as you have low energy levels, pain, or it’s a really life-threatening scenario. Instead of saying “I want to lose weight,” be specific, and in what timeframe. Why exactly do you want to lose those 20 kgs, 30 lbs, 3 stones? How will this make you look and feel?
Got the gist?
Then write this down:
“I want to lose 20 kg in the next six months, so that….”
Put the date in your calendar, move backward where do want or have to be in 5-4-3-1 months.
The most important step is to start doing making the moves.
High-Performance questions:
What do I need to stop doing today, right now?
What do I need to start doing right now?
This could be changing your nutrition, from omitting deep-fried dishes to having more plant-based meals, asking for help, getting a mentor/trainer/coach on board to help you, support, hold your hand, and sometimes also probably gently kick your butt. This could be having a closer look at expenses and identifying some unhealthy spending patterns. Write those action steps down.
Commit
Tell a friend, ask for an accountability partner.
Get someone in your corner who understands where you are coming from, who has already done or achieved what you are about to do.
Make sure to have a plan, a framework, a schedule, something an Olympian in training would have, a successful money trader would have. They don’t act randomly, and they all have mentors or coaches who support them.
Why do you think you can do it on your own? Well, I guess you could, but having a mentor potentially saves you a 15-20 year learning curve and a number of costly mistakes.
Are you ready? It’s your choice, and it’s your life.
Renate Prandl, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Renate Prandl is Asia's Premier Sustainable Life Mastery Strategist, Certified Feldenkrais® Expert, sports coach, mentor, and Certified High Performance(™) coach. With over 40 years of combined experience as a Professor in a business school and entrepreneur, Renate uses a variety of proven techniques and applications to help you reach your highest potential, get to the Next Level, and potentially live your Life by Design - in a holistic, doable and sustainable way. Her "Power of 3" systems help you turn obstacles into stepping stones and build Physical, Emotional, Financial Resilience. Renate is the CEO of Body & Brain, Founder of Body And Brain Mastery, International Bestselling Author of 3 books, and has lived on 3 continents. Her mission: Anything is possible.
