Written by: Gina Lokken, ICF PCC, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever watched an infomercial before? One of those long 30-minute pitches that try to sell you a kitchen appliance that will make you cook like Julia Child or a workout DVD that will give you six-pack abs in just 10 minutes a day? In these commercials, you are sold a dream rather than a product.
In the business world, our infomercials look different. They are marketing courses that will increase your income 10-fold or planners that will help you live a perfectly balanced and productive life. But ultimately, they are still selling you an idea rather than an actual product. They are selling you a "perfect life."
When I look back over my life and career, chasing after the idea of a "perfect life" was a waste of time, energy, and money. But during those early momtrepreneur years, I couldn't shake the romantic idea that a perfectly balanced and successful life was available to me. So, I continued to chase it, copying what I perceived to have worked for other people who seemed to have it all together. Years flew by, and to my disappointment, the harder I tried, the further away this perfect life seemed.
If you still need to read the first two parts of this blog series, I highly suggest it (Part 1 and Part 2). In them, I talked about the first two limiting beliefs we struggle with as moms and entrepreneurs: comparing ourselves to others and trying too hard. Today, I want to talk about what happens when you buy into the first two limiting beliefs—namely, living outside your means.
Limiting Belief No.3: Living Outside Your Means
"If I have that, do this, or buy that, then my life and business will finally be balanced."
How often are you entranced by the possibility of a better, more fulfilling, balanced life if you just did this one thing? Everything would fall into place if you had bought that new program or had what "they" had. But when you buy that, do this, or finally get what "they" have, after a while, things go back to the way they were; your life and business are no more balanced or fulfilling than they were before.
I get it. We all want a quick fix. But eventually, you'll end up right where you were before, wanting the next flashy, fast fix, and the cycle will continue because actual change is rarely quick.
Our culture's desire for instant gratification has hindered our capacity to appreciate the journey. We have become so obsessed with the outcome that we've forgotten that the journey is what makes the outcome possible. When we try to find a simple answer, we miss out on a lot of good chances to learn and grow in wisdom. Life isn't about chasing after the next and best thing; it's about enjoying the journey and the ebb and flow of each beautiful, fleeting season.
A perfect balance doesn't exist because our lives and experiences constantly change and evolve. Because of this unpredictability, you will naturally be forced to focus more on one area than another in different seasons of your life. This is why crafting and adjusting your personal rhythm is crucial to having the life and business you've always dreamed of.
Coaching can help you identify and experiment freely with what works for you in this season, i.e., your rhythm. Stop thinking there's something wrong with you and that someone else knows how to fix it, and start discovering and maximizing who you already are to be the best woman, mother, wife, and business owner God knows you to be. Let go of the limiting belief that buying someone else's quick fix will get you to your outcome faster and lean into this newly expanded belief:
"I am staying in my lane, enjoying my journey, and finding my identity in who God already knows me to be."
Personal Rhythm Launching Point
Creating your own personal rhythm will help you live happier, healthier, and more fulfilled.
Choose one action step below today and find your rhythm.
Invite Others Along: Make it a point to bring your family or business partners along for the ride. Let them know what you're doing and how they can help you. Our journeys are more rewarding when we can share our experiences with others. Who will these changes affect? What do they need to know in order to be supportive of me in making these changes? How will it positively affect our relationship or situation?
Adjust When Needed: Every week or month, reflect on the personal rhythm you created and adjust or change what hasn't been working. What have you noticed since implementing this new rhythm? How has it improved the quality of your life or business? Personal relationships? What didn't work? What was missing or felt "off"? What can I do to improve? What needed more attention than I gave it?
Keep Taking Action: Hire a coach and/or find an accountability partner to keep you moving forward and taking action towards your goals, adjusting your rhythm as needed. Taking consistent action leads to clarity.
Gina Lokken, ICF PCC, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Gina is passionate about helping female entrepreneurs, business professionals, and leaders infuse God into their everyday personal and professional lives so that they can become the person He designed them to be. She firmly believes business and faith do not have to be separate, and business does not have to be boring. Gina specializes in strengths-based leadership and team building, creating cultures of joy through neuroscience practices, leadership and communication training, and creative coaching methodologies that propel her client's past what they originally thought was possible!
