Written by: Travis Thompson, LMFT, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever heard about the great conservation efforts that hunting deer provides? The health and stability of the deer population are supported by hunting seasons. Scheduling and regulating the killing of deer populations aids not just deer, but the whole ecosystem. This may seem odd at first, especially to those who find themselves emotionally impacted by hunting and killing animals. Just how does this help the deer if they are being killed? Initially, it seems to make more sense to just leave them alone in order to allow them to flourish.
Without an entire history of the American people's expansion and the modern world's industrialization, there are a few overall ideas that can help us understand why killing deer keeps them alive. First, an ecosystem is a continual system of feedback and adaptation. Biologists and conservationists speak about the need for natural ecosystems to be left undisturbed when possible as any tampering could cause a shift in populations. As groups moved from the east to the west coast of the US, we started radically changing the typical landscape. Specifically, with deer, we nearly extinguished a common enemy: the wolf. As a threat to humans without significant shelter, wolves provided concern for both physical safety and the conservation of resources. Taking them out of the equation made us safer, but also removed the limiting factor of the deer population, allowing for the rapid growth of unhealthy and subpar offspring, which leads to the lowering of food resources, which can lead to the lack of adequate nutrition and supports for other species. In short, we are the artificial wolves keeping them in check from eating themselves into starvation and breeding defective offspring to pass genes through generations.
The Family Ecosystem
To understand the connection between the health of a deer population and how families function, there is a connector by the name of Ludwig von Bertalanffy. He first theorized that families function in a feedback loop. They both impact and are impacted by one another. He asserted that patterns could not be isolated within one individual, and everyone is affected by one person’s actions in some way. His work later became the foundation of what is called Systems Theory. This concept was a cornerstone of the overall systems movement that started the Marriage and Family Therapy designation.
In von Bertalanffy’s model, a child could influence a parent in their daily life, from the addition of stress to even causing a car accident on the way to school. This action would then affect other children and adults that are involved. Pulling further from the ecosystem understanding of families was the concept of homeostasis. This idea is simply that a balance must be made with all factors in play. Without hunting season, deer would overpopulate and absorb resources and space that other animal species depend on. This would go on until the extinction of a species results in a stabilization of resources again. In the family unit, both children cannot be the favorite, and in the long-term primary focus of parents cannot be on their problems and the problems of their children. Something will become a priority over others. All members will struggle until this balance is found and will continue until some event provides the opportunity for change.
The Sick System
Homeostasis, and the natural desire for it, provides the framework for an understanding of unhealthy patterns that continue in family systems. Human nature strives for predictability over healthy interaction. To change is a risk of vulnerability, but dad comes home and always drinks. It is perfectly typical to continue in an unhealthy relationship or family dynamic due to the comfort of knowing, even at the risk of some level of sanity. Homeostasis does not always bring unhealthy patterns. With effort, a family system can come to expect honesty and connection to be the standard in any concern or confrontation and any deviation from that will seem odd.
Sick systems rarely appear spontaneously. Over time, the landscape can change from open communication to short responses, to a lack of connection at all. Such is common in the progression of addiction. There are a minority of cases in which individuals immediately dive into an addiction to substances without prior emotional deficits and experience negative coping mechanisms. For the wife of the alcoholic, this can start as some level of emotional distance between her husband and the children. She can then see him start to become short, and then completely disconnected. In an effort to meet the needs of the children, she can begin to over-function, and fill the roles of both parents, leading to a distinct lack of support and a need to find it in the children. This child can then start to show rebellion in class due to the overt stress of supporting his mother and not being able to access his father. Without knowledge of system dynamics, that child could be seen as defiant and needing support for their behavior, rather than working with everyone on how dad’s drinking problem and mom’s inability to institute change have stressed the whole system.
In more severe scenarios, generations of families can be marked by addiction, either accepted or despised. A common depiction of this is the family reunion where everyone has to drink in order to feel connected to one another. Some families report that everyone gets their own cooler and refills, to excess, are expected. If someone were to insist on sobriety during this gathering, they could find themselves ridiculed, pushed out, or simply seem out of place. Drinking to extremes has become normalized to such a significant degree that alcoholism seems like an aspect of someone’s personality rather than a deeper issue. These systems can be some of the most difficult to move away from as the fabric of connection or identity is placed in a substance. For those who have a negative view of addiction and substance use but find themselves in the same pattern, identity can lie within family patterns and the ability to understand value and hopes for the future. A son who swears to never be like his father can end up repeating everything without knowing what it is like to change. If he never develops the ability to deal with his emotions and address his needs, chances are that he will not see the other side of addiction and pass this pattern off to his own children.
Bringing the Wolves Back
Artificially sustaining ecosystems can keep them from deteriorating, as the balance is needed to maintain life. Without this support, members of this ecosystem will disrupt homeostasis and cause a total collapse. With addiction, unhealthy homeostasis is created, artificially keeping things afloat, until tragedy strikes, and everything is thrown into chaos. At that point, no amount of artificial aid can sustain this dynamic.
To achieve natural homeostasis again, attention must be paid to what a healthy dynamic is and how it functions. An unhealthy and addicted system may have normalized passive-aggressive behavior and lack of vulnerability in emotional connection, leading to tension and resentment. Structural Family Theory would tell us to reorient the roles of parenthood and support with the parents at the top, and children receiving support and little strain from the marital relationship. Systems Theory guides the need for all members to be addressed within the immediate family system. A child cannot cause their parent to use substances again, but they can become so anxious about relapse that they are unable to focus on their own needs. Honesty and support are central to all aspects of a new marital relationship.
Change in the functioning of a family environment takes significant, long-term effort. Even when things “change” for the better, attention must be paid to relationships as there can always be a tendency to revert to literal or metaphorical interactions. Some families can access therapy and support to adapt to a new way of life. Few of them can completely transform the entirety of the system, with some only changing expectations within the spouses and children unable to accept future vulnerability. Still, others only see sobriety for themselves and are unable to reconcile with the family they hurt so greatly. The health of a new ecosystem may only adapt to a new balance, such as an invasive species that permanently transforms animal and plant populations. No matter what the process forward, everyone must recognize that drastic change is necessary. Simple behavioral shifts will not suffice, but true humility in a therapeutic process must take place.
Travis Thompson, LMFT, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Travis Thompson, is a researcher, teacher, and therapist focused on healing the lives of those in addiction. With a drive to see effective, long-term change in his community, he has dedicated himself, his practice, and his doctoral work on both research, education, and implementation of recovery. He strives to further the mental health field towards a holistic and advanced understanding of what addiction truly is, where it comes from, and how we all can help.
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