Written by: Nurit Amichai, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Truth.
It seems we all have a version of it, don’t we? There was a time when the truth was paramount to all things… success, safety, understanding. Growing up (at least in my world), the truth was a very definite requirement and what I was often warned to tell when questioned about something. In a court of law, people used to put their hand on a Bible or other holy book and swear to tell the truth.
But the truth is, people don’t tell the truth. Research says that we are lied to between ten and 200 times a day and that we lie at least twice a day ourselves. Children are very proficient at it and usually begin lying at around age two. Lying is a natural occurrence in our lives.
So, what’s the harm in a little white lie?
Probably not too much if there isn’t much at stake. However, when lives are at stake, lying is a big deal. It can save a life or cause a life to be ruined. Think of all the men who are serving time in prison because a girl lied about being raped. Alternatively, think of all the girls who suffer endlessly because a guy lied to her about being there for her forever in order to violate her body. We all can think of endless stories, many of which happen within our own lives and relationships. Indeed, the price for lying can be huge.
Then there’s the “acceptable” lying that we just seem to take for granted. It happens in the workplace often, when we’re accountable for a project and things aren’t going as planned – we find excuses, blame someone else, or ignore the issue. It’s all a form of lying.
What about lying to ourselves?
This often shows up as a result of certain beliefs we hold about ourselves. And we believe they’re true…
Here’s how it manifests: We know that in order to move forward in a certain area of our lives there are specific things we could be doing in order to get things going. We can even tell others that we are aware that if we do these things our lives will be better, yet we fail to do what is necessary to move forward. What is the self-talk here? Oh, we can think of a dozen reasons why it isn’t going to work or why we’re not the right person for the job. Is it true? Probably not.
We create habits around the beliefs that aren’t true which, in turn, prove the lie.
Beliefs such as those that, even though we have the skills to do the job, we won’t do it well enough, and our attempt won’t work. Where does this come from? Well, first of all, the belief likely isn’t true. After all, how would we know if we don’t even try? More importantly, though, the lie is embedded in an underlying sense of shame. Somewhere along the line of life, we tried to do something, it didn’t work, and instead of remembering Thomas Edison’s endless efforts and “failures”, we’re belittled and shamed. A lie becomes imbedded because we tie the shame to our identity. We firmly believe we are incompetent, not capable of doing things properly, adequately, or in a suitable fashion.
Is it the truth that we can’t do a job well? Probably not. But what is true is that our belief is keeping us from moving forward in life in a real sense of wholeness and power. If we’re believing things that aren’t true about ourselves, we need to dig for the deeper truth of what is really so and shed the cloak of shame that keeps us hidden in false, untrue beliefs.
Perhaps it’s time to put the spotlight on the lies we’ve been told about ourselves, the lies we believe about ourselves that keep us from living our Truth, and turn the table with the Truth, the Whole Truth and nothing but the Truth.
Nurit Amichai, Executive Contributor, Brainz Magazine
Nurit Amichai is a holistic therapist and life coach who provides individuals with an opportunity to strip away old, unproductive and damaging habits and create new, lasting behaviors that support the dynamic and powerful life they really want to live. As a result of a devastating illness, she set about rebuilding her body and life through nutrition and fitness. Realizing that wasn't enough, she entered the personal growth world where she allowed her truths to surface by giving herself permission to face and then release the pain and self-destructive behaviors she had harbored for so many years. This experience birthed the desire to share these lessons and gifts with others.
She has merged all of the disciplines learned over decades — nutrition, fitness, and mental and emotional health — into the true passion of her life: to help people heal and gain optimal health, giving her clients the benefit of many years of learning and experience, coaching them and giving them tools for finding fulfillment and unleashing their own personal power.
