The Sleep Lie and Why Everything You’ve Been Told About Rest Is Hurting Your Health
- Brainz Magazine
- Apr 9
- 16 min read
Written by Charlotte Phelps, Founder
Charlotte Phelps, Founder of The Alchemy of Being, transformed her life from a terminal prognosis into a mission to empower others. She offers tools and insights, born from her own journey, for personal growth and holistic health, helping individuals curate their unique 'Toolbelt for Life'.
We diligently educate ourselves on diet and fitness, yet sleep, the foundation of well-being, remains a mystery to most. What if our lack of sleep knowledge is causing us to unknowingly sabotage our health? Uncover the truth about the 'sleep lie' and how it's keeping you from unlocking your full potential.
The importance of sleep: Why it’s missing from our education
Did you know that 7.5 million Brits get fewer than five hours of sleep a night1? For many years, I was one of them. Despite this alarming statistic and my own experience, sleep, the very foundation of our physical and mental well-being, is glaringly absent from most educational curricula. From primary school to university, it's as if sleep is a subject too trivial to merit our attention.
Think about it: every parent has, at some point, grappled with the challenges of getting their children to sleep. And we have loads of sayings that tell you the value of sleep: "Sleep on it", "Don't lose sleep over it", and "Sleeping like a log". Yet, even amidst all this focus, millions have a daily struggle. This equates to a sleep deprivation epidemic! Yet, we rarely question why we lack the knowledge or tools to effectively influence our own or our children's sleep. This highlights a fundamental gap in our understanding of sleep and its importance, a gap we need to close.
So, what's the deal with this "sleep omission"? For centuries, sleep was seen as a passive thing, a nightly shutdown where “nothing happened.” Science simply didn't have the tools to peek inside the sleeping brain until really quite recently. So they couldn’t see all the incredible activity that was going on. Plus, the scientific process is slow. You've got to validate, test, and re-test before anything becomes accepted as fact. Then, even when it is accepted, it can take ages for that knowledge to trickle down into the mainstream and change what we're taught. I mean, think about quantum physics, the most proven theory ever, and it's still not a standard part of the curriculum until A-level!
The consequences of this widespread sleep neglect are far-reaching and increasingly evident. Sleep disorders are on the rise, with the American Academy of Sleep Medicine estimating that insomnia affects approximately 30% of adults. Moreover, research has consistently linked sleep deprivation to an increased risk of mental health problems; a study published in the journal Sleep found that individuals who sleep less than six hours per night are significantly more likely to experience symptoms of depression and anxiety. In academic settings, sleep loss has been shown to impair cognitive function, leading to reduced performance; a study by the National Sleep Foundation found that students who regularly get less than eight hours of sleep are more likely to have difficulty concentrating and solving problems. Long-term, chronic sleep deprivation is associated with a higher risk of developing serious health conditions; the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that adults who sleep less than seven hours per night are more likely to suffer from obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease.
If sleep is so crucial, why haven't we been shouting from the rooftops, demanding to be educated about it? Regardless of the reasons for this widespread neglect, it's time for a change.
In the following sections, I'll illuminate the profound importance of sleep, opening your eyes to what's truly happening in your body and mind during rest. I'll arm you with practical strategies to ensure that the hours you do get are deeply restorative for your mind, body, and soul.
Let's tear out the page that says sleep isn't important and rewrite the chapters with a new understanding of its true power.
The science of sleep: Powerful processes that only happen at night
For centuries, we've laboured under the illusion that sleep is a nightly "nothingness," a period of inactivity where our bodies and minds simply shut down. I mean, let's face it: you're lying there still, eyes closed. It's easy to see why we felt nothing was happening. But I'm here to tell you that this couldn't be further from the truth. In reality, sleep is an intensely active and restorative period, a time when your brain and body are hard at work repairing, rejuvenating, and preparing you for the day ahead.
Now, if you're like most people, the extent of your sleep knowledge probably begins and ends with the fact that there are different "states" Non-Rapid Eye Movement (NREM) and Rapid Eye Movement (REM) states of sleep. This is predominantly due to the association between dreaming and the REM state. This really is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to understanding sleep. What happens beyond and within these states is where things get interesting and where the "magic" that happens at night takes place.
So, what happens when we drift off to dreamland? Here's a glimpse into the nightly magic:
Hormone regulation, including the release of growth hormone.
Immune system enhancement, boosting your body's defence mechanisms.
Memory consolidation, solidifying learning and experiences.
Brain detoxification, clearing out waste and toxins.
Cellular repair, rejuvenating tissues throughout the body.
Energy restoration, replenishing fuel reserves for the next day.
Emotional processing, regulating mood, and reducing stress.
The remarkable thing is that these predominantly only happen when we are asleep.
Let's explore some of these fascinating processes in more detail. We'll start with what is a really new discovery that of the brain detoxification process and the glymphatic system. Discovered in only 2012, the glymphatic system is a network that clears waste products from the brain far more efficiently during sleep than during wakefulness. Imagine tiny channels opening up, allowing cerebrospinal fluid to wash away metabolic debris that accumulates throughout the day. This nightly cleanse is crucial for maintaining optimal brain function and staving off neurodegenerative diseases.
Another key process that only happens when we are slumbering is memory consolidation.
Throughout the day, our brains are bombarded with sensory information scientists now estimate over 11 million bits per day. Our brain can only process about 50 bits per second meaning the vast majority of information is filtered out by our subconscious mind, and sleep helps us to sort through this deluge of data, determining what's important and what can be discarded. The brain replays neural connections, reinforcing what we have learned and filing new memories. Without adequate sleep, these memories don't have a chance to solidify, making it difficult to recall information.
And let's not forget the profound emotional benefits of sleep. During sleep, our brains process and regulate emotions, reducing stress and anxiety. This emotional regulation is thought to happen largely during REM sleep when the amygdala (the brain's emotional centre) is highly active. The REM state allows us to process emotional memories and experiences, which is why we wake up feeling refreshed and more emotionally resilient after a good night's sleep. It's often during sleep that we process things that happened during the day, giving us a better perception of things.
Sleep is also a key time for the body to undertake significant physical restoration. Growth hormone (GH) is primarily secreted during the first 1-2 hours of sleep (70-80% of the daily secretion). Surprised? I was, too, when I first learned this! This hormone is essential for muscle growth, tissue repair, and cellular regeneration. It stimulates protein synthesis, which helps rebuild muscle fibres damaged during daily activity or exercise. This is why sleep is especially critical for athletes and those recovering from physical exertion and injury.
A fascinating process that takes place during REM sleep is that the brain induces REM atonia, a temporary paralysis of the muscles. Ever woken up from a dream where you were running, only to find yourself perfectly still? That's REM atonia at work! This paralysis is crucial not only for safety during the most vivid of dreams but also for the body's recovery. This mechanism optimises recovery and energy replenishment by allowing the body to rest deeply without unnecessary movements.
During sleep, the body produces and releases cytokines, essential proteins that regulate immune responses by fighting infections and controlling inflammation. Key immune-boosting cytokines like IL-1 and TNF-α are higher during deep sleep than during wakefulness, which allows the body to strengthen its defences, promote healing, and enhance immune memory. Deep sleep is essential for long-term health.
Sleep is essential for lowering cortisol, the body's primary stress hormone, which can only drop significantly during sleep due to key physiological processes. The HPA axis slows down, reducing cortisol production as the body shifts into rest and repair mode, prioritising recovery over stress response. Melatonin, which rises at night, actively suppresses cortisol, reinforcing this decline. If sleep is disrupted, this process is incomplete, leading to elevated cortisol upon waking, which can contribute to chronic stress, anxiety, fatigue, and long-term health risks.
So, the next time you're tempted to skimp on sleep, remember this: sleep is not a luxury; it's a necessity. It's a time when your brain and body are actively working to keep you healthy, energized, and functioning at your best. It's the foundation upon which we build our physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
Psychological safety and sleep: Why feeling safe is essential for rest
Okay, so we're clear on the incredible importance of sleep. But what's stopping us from actually achieving that restful slumber?
The truth is, getting good sleep isn't just about the physical stuff. It's deeply connected to our sense of psychological safety a neurological state where our brain feels comfortable enough to truly let go. It's our most primal instinct: stay alert if there's potential danger.
Psychological safety, in this context, is about your brain's sense that all is well, that there's no threat, and that when you sleep, you will wake up. It's about having complete trust and faith in the safety of the moment. When we feel this deep sense of security, our bodies release oxytocin, the "love hormone," promoting relaxation and facilitating sleep.
Here's the kicker: the key to this feeling of safety lies within us, not in external factors. Many people struggle with sleep because they have an external locus of control. They believe their worth and safety are determined by things outside of them, like their partner, family, job, or wealth. But what we actually need for deep, restorative sleep, is faith in ourselves in our ability to keep ourselves safe emotionally, mentally, and physically.
When we lack this internal trust, past traumas can create a sense of unsafety that lingers in our subconscious. Our nervous system might be constantly on high alert, anticipating danger, even when there's no real threat. This can lead to chronic hyperarousal, making it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep. In addition, present-day stressors and future anxieties can also disrupt our sense of safety. When we're constantly bombarded with worries or stuck in loops of rumination and catastrophic thinking, our bodies release cortisol, which stops the parasympathetic nervous system from being engaged and rest and repair being triggered.
So, how can we cultivate this deep sense of psychological safety and reclaim our sleep? The key is to build trust in ourselves. Perhaps hearing my personal story will help bring this concept to life and offer some practical insights into how you can cultivate your sense of internal security and achieve truly restful sleep.
My sleep struggle: How I overcame 20 years of insomnia
My early opinions of sleep were based, as most are, on the key example set by my mother, who sleeps 4 hours a night and always has.
I remember from a very early age struggling with sleep. I needed music playing to get to sleep and was often woken up by my cat eating mice under my bed enough to make anyone fearful of sleep! As a teenager at boarding school, in a dorm of 8 girls, I managed to find ways to allude sleep without interrupting theirs, long quiet hours just lying there or sneaking out to do homework!
I think it's safe to say it became a habit, and I wasn't even conscious of my lack of sleep. I was just used to having 20 hours a day to do stuff with. I had so much energy, more than anyone else I knew, and wow, it made me very productive.
When lack of sleep became a health crisis: My wake-up call
If you've read my story, you'll know my twenties saw my health decline significantly in many ways. The connection between my worsening health and lack of sleep never occurred to me. Not even once. No doctor ever asked me about it. I slept 12-4 am most days and just got on with life.
The turning point came when, as part of my desperation to find a solution, I was introduced to David Hompes and Functional Medicine. He told me that all I needed to do to heal was to sleep. I laughed! It sounded so insane to me. But then he explained to me why – a lot of what I’ve shared in the earlier sections he linked all my health concerns back to sleep processes that I just wasn't enabling my body to enact. For example, sleeping from 12-4 am meant I was always awake at the time my digestive system should be healing, which, according to Chinese medicine and the diurnal cycle, is between 5-6 am. This was a key contributor to so many of my health challenges.
That's when I started to understand the huge disservice I'd been doing to myself.
David shared with me that I had subconscious beliefs around sleep that were stopping me from sleeping and, therefore, healing. Firstly, that sleep was pointless and a waste of time. Secondly, my health would continue to decline if I didn't create time to do the extra things I needed to do without taking time from work or my social life. He said the first thing I needed to do was to give myself "permission" to sleep. Then, I had to challenge my ingrained beliefs about sleep and prioritise rest as a fundamental need, not a luxury.
Relearning sleep: The tools that finally worked for me
After over 20 years of being an insomniac, I faced the challenge of not knowing how to sleep. My brain lacked the muscle memory or habit, so I embarked on a quest to re-teach myself. I delved into extensive research and experimented with various techniques and tools, discovering what worked best for me. It was akin to learning a new language. In this section, I'll share the specific tools and techniques that ultimately helped me build my arsenal for rest.
I started with the easily accessible bits of advice optimising my sleep environment, turning off technology in my room, having a warm drink, taking a hot bath, and practicing deep breathing. However, these made very little difference. In all honesty, they just made me feel bad, like a failure, and that made sleep feel more elusive.
Next, I tried body scan meditations and guided sleep visualisations but struggled with them considerably. I would listen and follow along but never end up asleep. In studying why these typically work, I learned about different brain wave states and how we transition through them as we fall asleep. Moving from Beta to Alpha, to Delta to Theta.
I wondered if perhaps my issue lay in this transition; my brain had 'forgotten' how to move quickly through these states. This led me to invest in a meditation machine with sleep settings, which used binaural beats and light patterns to guide my brain into delta waves and induce sleep. If I couldn't switch off naturally, technology would have to do it for me.
I used the meditation machine for about twelve weeks until finally, my body started going through the process on its own.
However, I still needed help staying asleep and sleeping for a reasonable amount of time. My habit of sleeping four hours meant that even if I could get to sleep before midnight, I would often wake up after four hours.
David also shared with me the relationship between sleep, stress, and safety. Now that my brain could initiate sleep, I needed to ensure it could maintain it. This led me to scrutinise my relationship with myself, recognising that psychological safety was crucial for truly restful sleep. I researched and learned about the subconscious mind and how we form beliefs. I knew I needed to change several of mine about sleep but also about myself. I don't have time in this article to go into the details of belief change, but you can learn more in my vlog series on the matter.
But to summarise, I discovered our subconscious brain is accessible in the theta brainwave state and very suggestable to change here. I learned another way to change it is through repetition (like learning to ride a bike or drive). So, my daily routines came to utilise these facets with a set of daily affirmations about my safety, confidence, worth and relationship with health and sleep. I said them into the mirror, I stuck them on doors, I played them as I went to sleep.
Then I looked at the physical reasons why I may wake up, and that led me to learn about the relationship between sleep and blood sugar. I learned that a drop in blood sugar during the night triggers the release of cortisol and adrenaline, waking you up as the body attempts to stabilise glucose levels. This happens because the brain relies on a steady glucose supply, and if liver glycogen stores are low, the stress response is activated. I also found a wonderful, entirely natural, and uber-effective way to address it. A small amount of raw honey and sea salt before bed. Get the recipe and reason here.
The last thing I did was to learn how to hack my parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). To enable a level of quality sleep, we need to trigger the PNS. Our nervous system has two modes of function: the 'sympathetic' and 'parasympathetic'. The sympathetic mode, often known as the 'flight and fight mode, ' is all about activity, action, and being ready to deal with any type of stress. The parasympathetic mode is known as the 'rest and digestion' mode. This mode is in control when the body is relaxed, resting, or eating.
By initiating this rest and digestion mode, we reduce our neurophysiological experience of stress, which allows our cortisol (stress hormone) levels to reduce and both our heart rate and blood pressure to lower.
The PNS also influences our limbic system (emotion centre), so it calms us down and enables the body to start the process of preparing to fall into a deep and comfortable sleep.
The easiest way to trigger the PNS is to make everything slower, quieter, and softer. This is the rationale behind deep breathing, but it also works with speaking or touch. By deploying all the senses, I layered each type of interaction on top of another, supporting and triggering the PNS over and over. I did that by talking softly to myself before bed, doing my affirmations about how safe, secure, and capable I was, and hope wonderful my life was. While doing that, I would gently stroke my arms in butterfly mode (i.e. crossed and stroking the opposite arm). Once in bed and lying down, I would continue to gently stroke some aspect of my face, my thigh, or my arms based on my sleep posture.
From sleepless to rested: How I finally fixed my sleep
The combination of tools meditation machine, body scan meditations, PNS calming, psychological safety reinforcement, and blood sugar regulation worked for me. I started to experience the profound benefits of consistent, quality sleep, and it was transformative. My energy soared, my immune system strengthened, and my health improved dramatically. I really healed.
Over that first year, I allowed my body to sleep as much as it wanted to. Sometimes that was 12 hours, 16 hours a day. Over time, though, my body found its natural sleep rhythm, which turned out to be around 7.5 hours per night. For over a decade now, I have had no need for an alarm clock. I wake up feeling refreshed and energised every day. I feel like a whole new person - more resilient, focused, and joyful.
I have my sleep ritual still made up of PNS activation and psychological safety reinforcement, which means that within three minutes of lying down to sleep, I am gone zzzzz’ing away. And seven and a bit hours later, I wake up feeling great. My body simply knows now when it is time to rise and shine.
How I used sleep rituals to transform my foster children’s rest
Well, I say for over a decade, but there was a blip. In 2017, I became a foster carer, fulfilling a deep desire to express my maternal instinct. Two young boys, aged three and four, came to stay — and they did not sleep. Just four hours a night, instead of the average twelve for their age. Their lack of sleep affected my own, and I knew it was impacting them in a myriad of ways. I understood that the trauma they’d experienced in their short lives had robbed them of the ability to feel psychologically safe — and without that, they couldn’t fully let go and drift into deep sleep.
I returned to my research and pooled all that I had tried for myself and curated a bedtime routine for them. It was based on psychological safety, the PNS, and - to help them get over the FOMO of going to bed - the intoxicating neuroscience of choice. Choosing to sleep is a powerful accelerant for all the processes. In just six weeks, I had those boys sleeping 12 hours a night. And I was back to my seven! This gives me confidence in sharing my approaches with you.
Reclaim your rest: How to break free from the sleep lie
If I can reclaim healthy sleep after 20 years of insomnia, so can you.
Let’s be real: How good is your sleep, really? Are you waking up feeling refreshed or dragging yourself through the day by sheer willpower? You know if it’s not working.
And yet, so many of us dismiss sleep as something we’ll "catch up on later” or have a nap to compensate for as if we can cheat biology.
But here’s what my experience has taught me: Sleep is the foundation of everything. Your energy, your focus, your emotions, your ability to heal it all starts here. That’s why it’s the first step in the Alchemy of Being’s Getting Started Guide.
The truth? There is a way to fix your sleep. It may not take what I did - because you’re not me - but I guarantee there’s a solution out there that will work for you if you're willing to be honest about what’s really standing in your way.
So, are you ready to stop making excuses and start making changes? Because the transformation begins the moment you decide: I deserve better.
Where to start
Do a sleep assessment: Identify your biggest sleep challenges. Is it getting to sleep or staying asleep? How regular is your bedtime routine? How refreshed do you feel? Take our Alchemy of Being Sleep Assessment or start a sleep journal to track patterns.
Challenge your sleep beliefs: What’s shaping your expectations about sleep? Your upbringing? Your habits? Your inner critic? Watch our vlog series on breaking subconscious patterns and reprogramming beliefs.
Get personalised support: Book a 1:1 consultation with me to talk it through and get a more tailored approach to reclaiming your rest. (Use voucher code Brainz for a 20% discount)
Get advanced techniques: Buy our Beyond Sleep Hygiene eBook, and explore 6 additional techniques that you could add into your Toolbelt. (Use voucher code Brainz for a 20% discount)
Explore the sleep store: The Alchemy of Being Sleep Store is stocked with products personally recommended by our Alchemists no gimmicks, just real tools that work.
You’ve been lied to about sleep. You’ve been told sleep is a passive state, a negotiable part of life, something you can sacrifice without consequence. But now, you know better.
The truth is that sleep is non-negotiable. It’s the silent force shaping your health, your emotions, your resilience, and your very existence.
The only question left is:
What are you going to do about it?
Because the real transformation starts when you stop seeing sleep as something that "just happens" and start treating it as the most powerful tool you have in your toolbelt. A tool that, when mastered, changes everything (even saves a life like it did mine!).
Are you ready to reclaim it?
Read more from Charlotte Phelps
Charlotte Phelps, Founder
Charlotte Phelps's life took a pivotal turn at 33 when she was given just six weeks to live due to a likely bowel perforation. This diagnosis came after a decade of being told she was fine by the medical world, making it both validating and shocking. Forced to explore unconventional options to survive, Charlotte not only regained her health but underwent a transformative journey of soul, mind, and body. She also developed a profound need to understand how she had lived, which sparked a decade-long exploration of holistic practices and alternative approaches. This journey ignited a deep passion to share what she’d discovered with others, leading to the creation of The Alchemy of Being.
References:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insomnia?utm_source=chatgpt.com
https://academic.oup.com/sleep/article-abstract/39/8/1555/2706345?redirectedFrom=fulltext
https://scientificorigin.com/glymphatics-how-your-brain-cleans-itself-during-sleep
https://www.britannica.com/science/information-theory/Physiology
https://www.countingsheep.net/human-growth-hormone-and-sleep/
https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-74744-1_3
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