Written by: Jennifer Loehding, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
In an article I recently wrote on my blog, I talk about my discovery as a busy self-employed mom of the three, realizing that while chasing balance in my life was unachievable, chasing harmony was not only achievable but a realistic goal. So I set out on a journey searching for peace and moved away from the concept that all things had to be equal in my life. Although it is an ongoing trek that requires mindfulness and the implementation of healthy habits, it has allowed me the most freedom in my life.
Why Balance Doesn’t Work
I don't mind the word balance if we talk about it in the context of liquid or parts, but there is no balance in life. Think about it. If you are a parent, do you wake up and decide you will spend "x" number of minutes with each of your children in a day? If you are in business, do you choose how much time you intend to spend with each client on a given day? Probably not. How would you go about doing that? Sure, you can set a schedule and parameters to follow, but life is nonlinear, like the weather. We are pulled in different directions every day, and we spend much of our time putting out fires or tending to activities on which we have been procrastinating.
How Do You Move From Chasing Balance To Harmony?
First and foremost, we must understand that no single incident or step will help us make that transition in most cases. Instead, it will probably be a collection of experiences and practiced habits combined with a decision to be mindful of our reactions that will lead that change. Secondly, as we begin to build our confidence, we will find calm, learn to trust our intuition more frequently, and as a result, will seek to maintain peace. Imagine being okay with your decisions every day. That's what finding harmony looks like when implemented in your life.
Six Steps To Put Harmony Into Action
1. Set a schedule but don't be too tied to it.
Allow some room for error. It's a given that no matter how well you plan, life is going to throw a curveball at you. Rather than being so set on the schedule, decide to accept things where they are and make a pivot when necessary. You can always move something to tomorrow if needed.
2. Adopt a can-do attitude.
As stated above, things are going to happen. We live in a nonlinear world where we cannot control everything. We can, however, control how we react and choose whether we let something affect us positively or negatively. I understand that if I doubt myself for one minute, I know I need to throw in the towel. I can be scared, but I also know that I can figure it out with a bit of knowledge.
3. Trust your intuition and own your decisions.
We all fail at something in life, and to achieve anything, we must let go of the idea that we will never lose. Failing is a prerequisite of success. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is to take accountability for my decisions, good or bad. Suppose I fail at something; it's not the end of me because I also recognize that it doesn't define me. It may not be the best decision I could have made, but certainly, I can recover.
4. Focus on what matters.
Is this important right now? Is it adding value, creating a return on investment financially, spiritually, or relationally? All things must be considered. If you waste time on experiences that are not adding value, it might be worth asking why you are doing it and then letting it go if needed.
5. Focus on quality over quantity.
Stop trying to make things equal. You will be more productive, and people will value your time when you value you. You are better off giving 10 minutes of undivided attention than trying to spend 30 minutes dedicated to something, but you are multitasking and not focused.
6. Practice self-care.
It's not enough to do an affirmation or a workout. Who are you are investing your time with frequently? What are you reading and listening to daily? How much sleep are you getting, how does your diet look, and are you involved in activities you love doing? Most of all, show yourself some compassion. You are always a priority in your life before anyone else. Why? Because you can't pour from an empty wagon, and you will never be able to give what you don't have.
The Final Thought
Not all things are perfect, and our experiences are unique to us. As we continue to march through life and practice the art of mindfulness and implementing healthy habits, we also recognize that this is a journey in which we will make mistakes. But as we continue forward, we will improve confidence, feel calmer about our decisions and trust ourselves more. All of these shifts will allow us to slowly move away from this goal of having balance and lean into finding harmony.
One More Final Thought
Stop chasing balance. Stop doing that. You are setting yourself up for failure. Instead, focus on ways that you can create harmony in your life. In doing so, you will not only impact your world, but you will make a difference in the lives of those around you. You will create more happiness when you make the shift to finding harmony.
Cheers to your journey!
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Jennifer Loehding, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jennifer Loehding is a mindset coach, blogger, speaker, author, and creator/host of the Starter Girlz Podcast. Her memoir—Beat the Toughest Obstacles—highlights the period in her life when she recovered from the pain and frustration that comes with a diagnosis of Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia. After years of getting no answers from medical professionals, Jennifer decided to find the best path to healing for herself. Relentless research and dogged determination allowed her to get around the sabotaging behaviors in her own life, and she now lives pain and medicine-free! Now Jennifer desires to teach people tips that will help them TOO to have exponential growth. She channels her energy and enthusiasm into the podcast—Starter Girlz—which she hosts every week, interviewing athletes, entrepreneurs, and individuals, highlighting the strengths that have helped them not only succeed but overcome the challenges they have faced. Jennifer likes empowering people to achieve success by assisting them to recognize sabotaging behaviors—their source and how to get around them.
