Colin Richards, a full-time practitioner in Somatic Sexology and Psychosexual & Relationships Therapy since 2010. Calling himself a Sex Engineer Colin has helped over 8,000 clients enhance their sexual confidence and deepen their understanding of their own and their partner’s sexuality, enriching their intimate lives.
As the founder of Intimacy Matters, Colin provides a wide range of services, including sensual massage treatments, psychosensual therapy, counseling, individual training in enhanced sexuality and group workshops. His practice offers comprehensive support to individuals and couples facing various sexual and relationship journeys and challenges.
With a strong belief that sexuality is a fundamental aspect of human life, Colin takes a holistic approach to his work, addressing the biological, psychological, social, emotional, and anthropological factors that shape sexual dynamics. Whether clients are overcoming specific sexual difficulties, exploring their sexual potential, or working through sexual incompatibilities within their relationships, Colin offers personalized guidance to help them achieve balance and satisfaction. His expertise and approach have garnered over 300 five-star reviews from satisfied clients.
Colin works with individuals of all orientations and ages, including single women, men, and couples. He regularly helps clients navigate common issues such as relationship conflict, sexual frustration, performance challenges (including orgasm difficulties and erectile issues), fear of intimacy, lack of sexual experience, sexual complacency, and libido imbalances.
Colin also gives public talks and hosts both in-person and online social events to further engage with individuals and couples seeking to enrich their intimate lives.
Colin’s qualifications include extensive training in psychosexual and relationship therapy, Imago relationship dynamics, NLP and natural medicine, ensuring that his work is grounded in a deep understanding of human sexuality and therapeutic practices.
Colin James De Courcy Richards, Somatic Sexologist, Massage & Intimacy Practitioner
What is a Sex Engineer?
A "Sex Engineer" is a term I define myself. It’s not just a sex therapist, a counsellor, a massage practitioner or a sexuality educator. it’s a role that looks at the holistic environment of sex, blending the psychological, physiological, emotional, sexual, anthropological, and biological elements. The aim is to understand how these different aspects interact and influence one another to create either a functional or dysfunctional sexual dynamic.
It’s about more than just focusing on one area, like in traditional therapy. Sexuality is multifaceted, and by engineering these various components together, I can address the complexity of sexual experiences in a more comprehensive way. It's about seeing the body, mind, emotions, and even societal or cultural influences as interconnected pieces of the puzzle.
The role of a Sex Engineer goes beyond solving problems—it's about exploring and enhancing sexual potential in a meaningful and empowering way. It allows individuals or couples to fully understand their sexual dynamics, unlocking new levels of intimacy and self-awareness. This approach provides not just solutions but also an enriched experience of one’s sexuality.
What type of people come to see you?
The people I see are incredibly diverse. Generally, they fall within the age range of 25 to 55, though I frequently work with clients in their 60s and sometimes those under 25. Each group tends to come to me for different reasons.
For many in the 25-55 age range, it’s often about overcoming challenges or negative experiences they've had in the past. Some may be emerging from long-term relationships and feel a need to regain confidence or gain more experience in their sexual lives. They may feel a sense of naivety or a loss of confidence in their sexual being. Men, in particular, might seek help with age-related issues like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, finally deciding it’s time to address these challenges.
For the older age group, particularly women in their 40s and 50s, I often see a situation where their libido has significantly increased, while their male partners may be experiencing a decline. This creates a sexual incompatibility within the relationship. They don’t want to betray their partners or disrupt the relationship, but they also don’t want to ignore their own heightened sexual arousal. Orgasm ( anorgasmia ) frustrations are also quite prevalent with women in this age group and they have got to an age where just tolerating it is no longer acceptable.
I see many clients who come from backgrounds where sexuality has been suppressed due to cultural or religious beliefs. Their bodies are longing for touch and intimacy, but they fear judgment or rejection if they pursue these desires openly. My work provides a safe and understanding space for them to explore their feelings and sexuality without fear.
What percentage of people come to you to overcome a sexual challenge as opposed to exploration?
Around half of my work now is teaching and training people to be more confident and creative sexuality. The greater majority are men who feel they need to broaden their sexual repertoires and become more adept and aware of their partner's needs and desires. While the other half come to address a sexual challenge or issue, though this varies depending on whether they're male, female, or part of a couple.
Couples, in particular, tend to fall more into the exploration category—about 75% of the couples I work with are looking to learn how to give more to each other, become more expressive, or use the session as a safe space to explore their sexual dynamics. For many, my role acts as a transitional phase in their journey of exploration and to open up their relationship.
When it comes to women, the majority—around 75%—seek my help to overcome a specific sexual challenge. Common issues include difficulty achieving orgasm, struggles with body image, or anxiety surrounding sex. In these cases, it’s about finding solutions that help them reconnect with their sexual confidence.
For men, it's a mix of addressing performance-related problems like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, as well as exploring their sexuality. Many men, particularly those exploring male/male attraction, come to me as a way to safely explore their desires without having to navigate dating apps or risky environments. This exploration often stems from a lack of masculine connection or empathy earlier in life. Through massage, physical touch, and a focus on the receiving role, men can explore these dynamics in a safe, supportive space, which is often something they’ve not experienced before.
For men to become more sexually confident and aware, it’s crucial for them to be open and honest about their sexuality. Men, regardless of their sexual orientation, tend to be undereducated when it comes to understanding both their own sexuality and that of their partners. In heterosexual relationships, for example, many men rely on limited and often misleading sources of information—such as what they see on the internet or in outdated magazines.
How can your treatments and training help men to become more sexually confident and aware?
Men don’t typically sit down and openly discuss their sexual experiences or what may or may not have worked in their intimate encounters. This lack of open dialogue means that many men miss opportunities to learn and improve. My treatments and training can help men take the time to enhance their knowledge and sexual skills, going beyond the surface-level focus on performance to explore the deeper aspects of sexuality.
The goal isn’t just about men having "enough equipment" but about expanding their understanding of sexuality in a broader, more holistic way. Through sessions, they can learn to engage more fully, not just physically but emotionally and psychologically, which ultimately leads to greater confidence and a richer, more fulfilling sexual experience.
Do you think mental health affects your sex life and visa versa?
Absolutely, mental health has a profound effect on one’s sex life. If someone goes without sexual or physical arousal, without touch or intimacy, it inevitably impacts their psychological well-being. The negative effects on mental health in these situations can be significant. As human beings, we are inherently an insecure species, and part of how we cope with that insecurity is through connection with others. This connection often manifests through physical touch, which reassures us that we belong.
Verbal communication is a relatively recent development in our history, perhaps only about 200,000 years old. Before that, touch was our primary means of connection—we stroked, pruned, and interacted through physical contact. So, our sexual lives aren't solely about pleasure; they're about feeling connected, a sense of belonging, and sharing intimacy with others.
Without that vital human touch, many people begin to experience a downward spiral. Nature is harsh in that sense. If we’re not being productive or reproductive, nature tends to question our purpose. This often leads to feelings of depression, deterioration in health, and an overall decline that, if left unchecked, can be quite serious. Intimacy, whether sexual or platonic, is crucial for maintaining a sense of mental and emotional well-being.
What has led to your success?
The key to my success has really been driven by passion. I’m passionate about the cause, about what I believe in, and, most importantly, about helping people. That passion is what gets me out of bed every morning. However, passion alone doesn’t pay the bills. Success requires daily commitment, professionalism, and the willingness to consistently deliver a high level of service. It's essential to understand that every action, every interaction, reflects back on your work, no matter where you are or what you're doing.
Even in social situations, my work inevitably comes up. My partner often jokes about whether we’ll go out to dinner without the conversation turning to my job. But invariably, someone asks, "So, what do you do?" At that moment, I have to choose whether to mention I work as a restaurateur (which I don’t), or as a sex therapist. Once I go down the route of talking about my work, the next couple of hours are usually spent discussing it. But this often opens doors—people realize that they, or someone they know, could benefit from a conversation or consultation with me.
So, at the back of my mind, there’s always an awareness of constant marketing, branding, and encouraging people to feel comfortable talking about topics that are often considered taboo. Success in my field also comes from hard work, commitment, and staying professional while ensuring that people feel safe and welcome in exploring their sexuality. It's a continuous journey forward, built on dedication and openness.
What aspects of your work fulfill you?
The most rewarding aspect for me is when clients leave and tell me that what they’ve experienced has truly changed their lives or reshaped how they feel about themselves.
For me, it’s not about the physical nature of the work—it’s the psychological, the enabling aspect that drives me. From the beginning, my passion has been about empowering people to become who they truly want to be. I believe that having to struggle against one’s sexual identity is unfair, and helping people embrace who they are in a sexual sense has a profound impact on their overall well-being.
So, the core fulfillment comes from knowing I’m empowering individuals, helping them break free from restrictions and find their own path to self-acceptance and happiness. That ripple effect is what gives my work meaning.
What is the journey of Intimacy Matters?
The journey of Intimacy Matters began with my work as a masseur, where I was primarily focused on bodywork. Over time, I realized that there was much more to the work than just the physical aspect, which led me to train as a psychosexual therapist. Two years into my training, I faced a pivotal decision: should I continue with verbal therapy as a psychosexual counselor, or stick with physical therapy? My trainers encouraged me to focus solely on verbal therapy, but after six or seven months, I realized that approach wasn’t entirely fulfilling.
That’s when I decided to create Intimacy Matters, a space where both counseling and bodywork could coexist. If someone came to me for counseling, they would stay in the therapeutic environment with no physical touch involved. But if they came for bodywork, there was no reason why I couldn’t talk to them and offer guidance during the session. This fusion of the physical and psychological—what I now call psychosensual therapy—grew organically from there.
Today, the combination of physical and psychological therapy is the foundation of Intimacy Matters. Clients can move between the counseling and bodywork aspects, making a conscious decision to explore whichever modality best suits their needs.
The name Intimacy Matters emerged from the simple, yet profound idea that intimacy truly does matter—it’s central to our well-being. I felt it was the perfect representation of what the brand stands for, as it captures the essence of the work and the significance of intimacy in our lives.
Where would you like to see yourself in ten years time?
In the next ten years, I see my career evolving, not so much changing, but rather deepening and expanding. I also anticipate a significant shift in how the world views sexuality, and I want to be actively involved in that transformation. The pace of change is accelerating, and I’d like to contribute to it meaningfully.
A key milestone for me was being part of a recent television documentary, which put my work in a more public spotlight. This exposure aligns with my larger vision of creating a sexuality and intimacy center—a place where people can openly discuss, learn, explore, and address various aspects of their sexual lives in a safe and professional environment. This concept would draw from my background as a hotelier and combine it with my current expertise in psychosexual therapy.
I aim to train others in this field, helping to establish it as a legitimate profession with real credibility and structure. I believe this could be incredibly successful, but for it to reach its full potential, we need to see certain laws and societal perceptions evolve to support the vision.
How has your work affected your personal life?
My work has impacted my personal life in a largely positive way, though it hasn't been without its challenges. One of the toughest decisions I had to make was being completely open and transparent about what I do, not only for my own success but also for the sake of authenticity. This meant my five children needed to be fully aware of my work, and there was a challenge in how they would accept it. I'm very grateful that they've all supported me and continue to do so.
In terms of my romantic life, I recognized early on that anyone I was in a relationship with would need to be comfortable with my profession. I'm fortunate that my current partner, Clare, who I've been with for ten years, came into the relationship fully aware of what I do. Interestingly, she didn't initially expect to have a relationship with me, but after three weeks, we found ourselves together and have been ever since. Of course, this hasn't come without its own challenges—we've had to navigate boundaries and have important conversations, but overall, it's been a rewarding journey.
Looking at myself now compared to 15 or 20 years ago, I see a very different person. I've come to understand that our sense of self within our sexuality is a fundamental part of who we are—it's a cornerstone of our identity. Being comfortable with my own sexuality, whether I'm gay, straight, or bi, has given me a sense of peace and confidence. People sometimes ask me what label I identify with, and my answer now is simple: I'm just a sexual being. I know what I like, and I also know that it might change tomorrow. I've learned to go with the flow, and that self-assurance has allowed me to remain grounded in both my work and my personal life.
If you could change one thing about your industry, what would it be and why?
I would push for greater legal and social recognition of the importance of sexuality in overall well-being. This would help legitimize the work I do, making it easier for people to access professional services in a safe and respectful environment.
In your experience, what are some common misconceptions about your industry?
People often confuse what I do with escort work or see it as purely physical. Another misconception is that discussing or exploring sexuality is shameful or taboo, which limits open dialogue and personal growth.
How do you and your business address them?
I focus on education, transparency, and professionalism. By clearly explaining the holistic, psychological, and therapeutic aspects of my work, I break down those misconceptions. Intimacy Matters also fosters a safe space for open conversations, helping clients understand that sexuality is an essential and healthy part of life.
Take the next step
For those inspired by this conversation and ready to begin their journey, the next step is to reflect on what aspects of your sexual confidence, intimacy, or relationship you’d like to explore or enhance. From there, consider booking a consultation or session with Colin at Intimacy Matters, where he offers a safe, non-judgmental space to discuss your needs and desires. Whether you're looking to overcome a challenge or simply deepen your connection with yourself or a partner, taking that initial step opens the door to personal growth and fulfilment. Colin will help tailor your experience to what you’re comfortable with, and from there, you can build a journey together toward a more satisfying and confident intimate life.
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