Written by: Betsy White, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
In our world today, people often get lost in the search. Many individuals convince themselves that once they get “there” they will find the elusive peace they want instead of feeling chaos. The search for something outside themselves to create what they want to feel inside consumes people of all ages, sometimes for a lifetime. It’s like being on a hamster wheel endlessly with no escape, even to the shelter of some wood shavings or shredded papers. It’s an exhausting search.
“There” can be described in many ways. Here are some ideas I’ve frequently encountered that people believe will bring peace:
A quiet place with a loved one
A tropical getaway
When the kids are more independent
After I have completed the to-do-list or at least shortened it
Once I pay off more/some/all of my debt
If I get good grades and get into the college I want
When I work for someone who notices how much I actually do
When these kids finally listen
After I get out of middle school, high school, college, this job, or this marriage
Instead of counting on any of these, here are some alternative ways to avoid the endless search and create a peace-filled life.
The Trend
It seems that having a positive outlook has become the most common trend. If you are thinking negatively, simply flip it to a positive statement and you’ll be fine. Sounds easy, right?
You don't need to change your thoughts as much as you need to learn to be an energy of peace, lighting the way and attracting serene, harmonious thoughts and beings. – Wayne Dyer
While I absolutely do think this is a piece of the puzzle, it’s not the whole solution in my experience. This oversimplifies things greatly.
Awareness Of Energy
The recognition that we are energetic beings, living in an entire Universe of energy, gives us a good starting place. Rub your hands together quickly with some pressure for a minute or so. Then when you stop, hold them about an inch or so apart. Go ahead, experience it yourself. That tingly, electric-like feeling is the energy in our bodies flowing into our hands. Everything is energy and our thoughts are no exception to this! So when we think a thought in our mind, we are generating energy just as we did with our hands.
We spin stories around different thoughts, pile one thought on top of another, let one thought lead to the next, or ruminate over particular thoughts. In each case, we create more energy and momentum in the direction of the thoughts. So if we go back to the current trend, one piece of the puzzle, where we turn negative thoughts into positive ones, this is the underlying reason why we want to make that shift! We simply don’t want to generate momentum in a negative direction. The energy produced when many thoughts accumulate is powerful and will bring experiences matching those thoughts. When applied to the idea of finding inner peace, we can recognize the energy in each thought we have and be sure we are not simply fabricating more chaos in our minds.
Acceptance
Acceptance is another critical piece to consider in our search. Sometimes things are hard, scary, frustrating, guilt-producing, and angering. We can feel helpless with people, experiences and circumstances. There are times when sadness, grief or loneliness are a part of our reality. But when we choose to fight these feelings, wish things weren’t happening, chase feelings away, deny how we feel, or stuff thoughts or feelings into the pile of I simply don’t want to deal with this, we give these feelings more energy!
The energy of fighting against our feelings can build momentum for what we don’t want to experience. Instead, trying gentle acceptance, knowing this too shall pass, bringing compassion for ourselves, or allowing feelings to be and flow through us, can help us find peace. Like clouds in the sky that eventually drift off, we can understand that all feelings pass in time too. In knowing this, we move a step closer to inner peace.
Choice
As we practice awareness and acceptance, we can also remember we each have the freedom and ability to choose! We are not helpless victims of a crazy world. We are empowered beings capable of choosing to create the world we want to be a part of!
When someone is rude to us in line at the grocery store, we can have compassion for the anger being projected at us, choose to walk away and move to another line. (Just like we tell and expect kids to do, right?)
A boss who snaps at us for no apparent reason can be responded to with a kind and protective request like, “Can we talk more about this at a later time, please?”
When we free ourselves from how others feel, behave or speak, we can then choose our response. Not just react in the moment, which is usually emotionally driven and steers us away from peace. This only gives our power away to others. Instead, learning to create a pause between what is said or done to us and the choice we make in responding is super empowering!
In the search for inner peace, we allow ourselves time to decide how we want to show up in our lives. We indeed have the power to create peace instead of adding to the chaos.
Everywhere
It’s liberating to realize peace is possible in our kitchen, a local park, sitting in a traffic jam, or working in our office, instead of only on a 2-week vacation somewhere far, far away! Don’t get me wrong, a getaway to reset oneself is a beautiful gift! But we can create a space in our mind, wherever we are, that produces the peace, joy or happiness inside that we so crave!
Our brain does not know the difference between a real or an imagined event. How COOL is that? It will respond the same to both. So use your imagination and create the space you need to feel peace even amidst chaos. An example of this is sometimes I close my eyes and imagine my mom’s arms around me. I visualize and feel the comfort and love I need from her. In those moments, I create a safe place; peaceful, loving and feeling held. Even though my mom passed in 2018, I can create an experience that feels real. In these moments, my body responds with waves of comfort and peace, my shoulders relax, my breath slows, and I feel supported.
The shift from chaos to peace can literally take place wherever we are!
Superpowers
Finding peace in a world that's changing at lightning speed, fear is lurking at every corner, where anger, injustice, deception, betrayal, and judgment are flying from the least likely people and places, can be a daunting and overwhelming task.
I absolutely believe when we choose to recognize the energy we create, stay empowered and courageous enough to accept what is, choose our thoughts wisely and know that peace is possible everywhere, we triumph over chaos. These are the superpowers available to everyone! The search for finding peace ends when we decide to put these powers to work in our lives!
If you would like to talk about ways to find peace instead of chaos, please reach out to schedule a Free Exploration Session. Open to parents, teachers or anyone influencing the life of a child. Life is always filled with challenges, but when we learn new skills, strategies and perspectives, we truly can live life peacefully despite what happens around us. If you are ready to take the next step, I invite you to explore working together. Don’t let your fears be larger than your faith!
Betsy White, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Betsy White is a Certified Holistic Life Coach and speaker supporting kids, parents and teachers to be empowered, confident and connected.
Having navigated childhood trauma, low self esteem, numerous health issues, dysfunctional systems at home and school, Betsy has dedicated her life to supporting kids, and the adults in their lives, navigate stress, anxiety, overwhelm and lack of purpose.
She draws on her expertise in psychology, human development, education, mindfulness and spirituality, while using her extensive and diverse experience to guide clients to own their value, speak their truth, live their unique purpose, heal relational dynamics and create inner peace and resilience. In an ever changing, technology and social media focused world, she empowers people to turn inward to their true source of wisdom.
Betsy is the founder of The Life Coach 4 Kids, offering intensive family, parent and teacher programs, presentations and group experiences. People are transformed through the connection, love, intuitive insights, experience and soul journey Betsy guides them to take.
