Written by: Christine Lutley, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Besides the pain, fatigue, other symptoms, and life-altering effects of Fibromyalgia, that comprise the reality of having fibro, there are other challenges. The biggest is the huge amount of negativity that surrounds it and how negative beliefs affect our experience.
Besides the chronic pain, fatigue, other symptoms, and life-altering effects of Fibromyalgia that are part of the reality of having fibromyalgia, there are other challenges. The biggest is the huge amount of negativity that surrounds it and how negative beliefs (our own and others’) affect us and our experience of having it.
Fibromyalgia is medically incurable. What does that mean exactly? Does it mean that it is hopeless, and we are doomed? Or simply that there is no medical cure and not even any single known medical cause? Answers vary based on the answerer’s beliefs.
Most people don't understand fibromyalgia. Some people, including some health care workers and some loved ones of the many who suffer from it, don't believe it is real. If you are a fibro sufferer, you don’t have to imagine how difficult it is for fibro sufferers to be disbelieved because you have experienced it. Most of us have. I was denied long-term disability by my LTD insurance provider through work because the insurance company's doctor said I had to be malingering because no cause for my severe symptoms showed up in tests. Not just an insult, that opinion protected both the insurance company and the doctor paid to give it, and cost me 65% of my then salary, tax-free, from the time I was unable to work at age 44 while I needed it until I turned 65.
Why the disbelief? Fibromyalgia is invisible. It is controversial. Some don't believe it is a real condition, even though millions of real people suffer from debilitating symptoms which affect them physically, energetically, mentally, and emotionally. Unlike most chronic illnesses, it cannot be easily diagnosed with medical tests. Tests are used only to rule out other conditions. We are told it isn’t terminal, so we are not doomed to die from it, but most sufferers believe they will die with it. Fibromyalgia is a syndrome, a collection of symptoms without a known cause, without a clear pathology. One of the best explanations I have read is that it is a state our body has got in. There are more mysteries around it than facts. (There are mysteries about the moon too; but generally, everyone accepts the moon as real.)
New science demonstrates we are all ultimately responsible for the results in our lives, including our health and wellness (no, not to blame for them, but we affect them either consciously or unconsciously.) Some fibro sufferers accept that and practice self-compassion and self-care. Others blame their bodies for betraying them, their doctors for not being able to help, Medicine in general, insufficient research, and the pharmaceutical industry. Most fibro patients are overwhelmed and confused by it all. I certainly was. But I was grateful to have a name for it simply because it validated my experience and told me I wasn’t crazy.
Blaming serves no useful purpose and further disempowers us. Taking our power and responsibility back, and using it to manage ourselves, our life situations and our health is useful because there is a lot we can do to help and even heal ourselves. Epigenetics demonstrates that we, humans, can affect our genetics and neuroscience proves that the brain continues to grow and change, enabling us to learn and change patterns of behavior. Changed behavior changes results.
Do some people get better?
Yes. Some do.
I have.
Others have too.
Some people write books about getting better.
Others coach people to find the right doctor to manage the condition.
I coach people to learn to heal their wounds and underlying conditions and to heal themselves, holistically.
If some of us can get better, it is possible for humans to recover from fibromyalgia, despite the deniers.
What do you believe?
Do you believe it is possible to get better or to at least manage yourself and the condition very well? Or do you believe that since it is medically incurable, it follows that your experience of it will be permanent and that it will get worse with age? Do you feel hopeless about any possibility of getting well and fully expect to keep getting worse? Or are you impatiently waiting for a cure? Do you believe those who say anyone who gets better never had it in the first place? Do you think it is peculiar that some of the same fibro sufferers who complain about those who are fortunate not to have fibromyalgia for not understanding our experience are the same ones who say those who get better, never had it? Apparently, it feels more like doubt and disbelief on the receiving end, than on the giving end of these cruel remarks. There are many untrue beliefs, faulty and unhelpful ways of thinking, and learned patterns of unhelpful behavior. People don’t choose these untrue and unhelpful or even harmful beliefs. These ideas are conditioned into our unconscious minds as young children and they are all accepted without any discernment, regardless of their validity and who they came from. Unless we consciously examine our beliefs throughout life, they remain, limiting our ability to live freely and grow beyond our childhood and, therefore, childish beliefs. Humans Traumas that happen in childhood are also a chief source of limiting beliefs because we form opinions about others, the world, and ourselves from these early painful experiences. We are not responsible for any of these childish beliefs which have served us well. But we can change them as adults to get better results than the childish beliefs ad behaviors provided. That is great news. It is hopeful, optimistic, and true.
The Importance of Hope for Healing
Hope is a necessary component of healing. We don’t get well when we don’t believe we will or can get well. If we truly believe we can’t get well, we experience the nocebo effect. An example of the nocebo effect is that if we believe there will be negative side effects of treatment, those side effects are likely to happen, even if the treatment given doesn’t have the active component that causes those effects. This is the nocebo effect. When that happens, patients are unlikely to discontinue treatment, even if the side effects are expected. If they needed the treatment to get well, they won’t because of the negative beliefs about the side effects and the side effects happening. The nocebo effect is one way our negative beliefs can completely derail healing and prevent a cure from being effective for a patient. In the case of fibromyalgia, we have been told it is incurable. How can we expect that to play out in our life? It depends on what we believe because of being told that and perhaps on what else the doctor who diagnosed us said. It depends on what we interpreted that to mean and on our beliefs about the words. If we interpret no cure to mean we cannot get well, that will be what we experience; but no cure means only there is no medical cure now. To assume more is to create our own belief and to believe it is to experience it because thoughts become things. Healing and lack of hope are incompatible. In the placebo effect, people experience positive effects because of their positive expectations. They believe they can get well and want to, so they do.
Healing isn't either yes or no, on or off. It is a continuum with results that go from being very ill, to being a little better, to better, to largely well, and only maybe to perfect. Better than bad is a level of healing. Entirely well is the pinnacle, not the only level of healing possible. Be careful whether you choose to believe in the possibility of healing, or in hopelessness. It will affect your outcomes. Our beliefs always affect our outcomes. We can change our beliefs to match the outcomes we want. That is why Mindset is so important when trying to change our results in any aspect of life.
How Can We Heal?
To get the result you want, including healing, certain choices are necessary:
Choose to believe your desired result is possible.
Choose to focus on hope and possibility.
Choose deliberately not to focus on what you fear or what makes you miserable. If you feel fear, proceed anyway. Change is on the other side of fear.
Choose to stop fighting fibromyalgia because what we resist persists and expands.
Choose to take consistent action to get the desired results.
Life happens unconsciously and automatically because of negative beliefs. Getting the results we want happens only when we consciously and deliberately choose them and take the steps to cause them to happen.
It is helpful to surround yourself with people who also believe in possibility and in your success, and in the case of fibromyalgia who believe in the possibility of healing. One thing is for sure, fibromyalgia is not a deficiency of medication, not even of pain meds. I believe it is a cry for help for something we are not paying the required attention to. Cries for help need to be heeded, not fought.
Ideally, follow someone who has already achieved what you want. That is possible, even with fibromyalgia. Not unicorns, we exist, today, on Earth. We are real. There are people who have suffered greatly from fibromyalgia and from other illnesses who have changed our thoughts, beliefs, words, actions, habits, behaviors, and lifestyles and in doing so changed our health. I am one of them. Some are quietly enjoying their new results. Others are out here trying to change the dialogue around fibromyalgia to make that dialogue, less negative and more helpful. We are changing the minds of some people in healthcare with our words, attitudes, and actions. We are working to change the minds of those suffering from fibromyalgia, and other unexplained chronic pain and fatigue conditions, to help them to believe in hope, in possibility, in the importance of doing our own self-care and healing. Support exists. You can learn to heal yourself. You are not alone. Ask for help. It is much easier and far less expensive than continuing to suffer perhaps for life and the benefits are far better. There are links to other articles and to my website below. Feel free to reach out to me for coaching. I help women with chronic pain and fatigue from fibromyalgia to heal themselves and achieve goals their doctors said they couldn’t. We don’t have to accept all the negativity about fibromyalgia. Hope and healing are possible. A better life is achievable, but not as a quick fix in the way we have been conditioned to expect it, in the form of a pill. It is a matter of You Healing You with a process that works and with support and accountability. Visit my website and then ask me for details.
Christine Lutley, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
The doctors diagnosed Christine with incurable fibromyalgia. Accepting that & their medications, she was work-disabled for 20 years. She became interested in spirituality & healing. 20 years later, on her 65th birthday, having witnessed her mother’s suffering & death with dementia, she decided she must create a new life while she still could. She focused on what she most wanted & used a spiritual 4-body healing approach. She not only healed herself but created a repeatable process to help others heal themselves, called Fibro Freedom Formula: You Healing You. Get supportive advice and learn from one who has walked in your shoes, so you can learn and be coached in peace, without any anyone telling you that you are making this up, or that fibromyalgia is incurable. The last thing you need is to be misunderstood because of this invisible illness.
