Written by: Rev Kaleel Sakakeeny, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“OK, Blue Bear, today we’re going to learn the alphabet. You have to pay attention. This is an “A” and this is a “B” and this is a “C”… Can you say them?” said the sweet, slightly sing-song voice of the child from behind her closed door.
All very serious and no-nonsense. Maybe you’ve been lucky to have been invited to a delightful, magical tea party between your child and her Teddy Bear and floppy-eared puppy, and maybe a very worn monkey with bright shiny eyes. You were taught the alphabet, and how to drink from a tiny tea cup, blot your lips with a real napkin, and be included in the real world of wonder-filled toy animals. And what fun it was to play make-believe. Again.
Except maybe, it wasn’t so “make-believe.” Maybe the toy animals had real lives that my daughter knew and realized- and I couldn’t. At least not right away. Had I lost belief in the reality of this simple, innocent world?
When I was invited to be the “grown-up guest of honor” with my younger daughter, I remember lively chats with a giraffe and an alligator. And an elephant too. The animals were so real. How could they not be?
They pick up the energies of our kids and our homes, and all the living, the life that takes place there. They become family members. Children (and grown-ups) sleep with them, talk to them, confess and confide in them. They see our tears and listen to our stories, and so they become part of our lives, of our family, absorbing all the life around them. Taking in who we are and how we live.
Ever wonder why kids don’t want their blankets or toy animals washed? Because they know washing them washes away the deep bond. A washing machine is no place for a real friend! There’s a lot written about Spirit Animals and how they show up when you need them. And I have marveled at how animals open our hearts and comfort us-so why wouldn’t our toy or “stuffed” animals do the same?
The truth is, if you’ve held and looked deeply into the eyes of a play bear or ducky or panda, it’s impossible not to sense some kind of life and emotion there. A Spirit. When they look back at you, it’s as if they know who you are and recognize what you’re all about. But at some point, our animal friends are taken from us, and surreptitiously put away.
We have to “grow up,” go to school, make new friends, go to dances. And so begins the first ache of separation. The first pang of loneliness.
Years later, the childhood doggy will be found by someone, someday, someplace in the attic. It will still hold the love and memories of precious, childhood times, when we were all more innocent and hopeful.
As you hug the bear tightly and recall those precious years, you’ll wonder where they all went, and why they passed so quickly. You’ll probably cry some. I did. But the teddy bears and floppy-eared dogs and soft, blue-eyed kittens always remember us and the times we had together. They gave and received so much love, and none of it is gone; none of it is lost.
How can it it be otherwise? Just ask the forever Tigger and Winnie! They know our kids better than we ever will. They know us, more than we ever did.
Kaleel Sakakeeny (Rev K) is an ordained pastor, animal chaplain and credentialed grief and loss therapist. He’s also the director of the Boston-based nonprofit animal charity, Animal Talks, dedicated to helping all those who have lost a beloved, especially a pet. Reach him here.
Rev Kaleel Sakakeeny, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Kaleel (Rev K) is one of the country's few ordained Animal Chaplains, nondenominational Pastoral Counselors and Credentialed Pet Loss and Grief Counselors. His work in the field of Loss and Grief, especially Pet Loss and Grief, has earned him recognition from The Washington Post, People Magazine, New York Times and other media. He is a “thought leader” in the emerging field of the animal-human bond studies, and a practicing therapist.
