Written by: Marketa Huzel, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Are you an overachieving perfectionist heading down the road to burnout? Then you should continue to read this! Trust me, I’ve been there, and based on my experience, I learned to know myself much better.
I also believe that life happens for a reason and it happens for us, not to us, so we can learn and grow. If we don’t learn from the lesson presented by life, we’ll be forced to re-live that experience over and over again, until we learn it. Are you seeing yourself in there?
In this article, you’ll discover:
What’s the hardest thing about being a high achiever
3 biggest worries high achievers have
A 4 step P.A.C.E. tool you can use to assess if you’re on the right path
I’ve been always striving for great achievements. When I was a kid, I wanted to be good at school, when I worked, I always wanted to do my job well whether it was a part-time job while I was studying when I was a private language teacher or a corporate HR professional. I was never happy with good enough. I always wanted to be the best I could even though it required some extra time or extra effort. It was serving me well until it didn’t.
When I had my first baby and returned back to work, it felt like my world has shuttered. Until then, I had been happy with my career and progression in it as well as with the personal satisfaction and monetary rewards that came with that. Then something “magical” happened and I wasn’t the same person as before and I didn’t understand why. When I had to take a leave of absence to “get some rest and return to normal”, in the first therapy session with my psychologist, I was diagnosed as an “overachieving perfectionist”. And that was hard to swallow! But the hard truth made me realize that I had work to do and now I have the privilege to share those insights with you!
That said, what’s the hardest thing about being a high achiever?
Not realizing you’re one. What does that mean?! You have your vision, you want more for yourself and others around you, you are always on the go and you have so much to achieve. You are struggling to recognize your successes on the way because there is always more to do, more to achieve, long to-do list to check off! You don’t want to waste your time; you may be saying to yourself “I’ll celebrate when”. You’re on the road to burnout.
You may be holding yourself back because other people are not understanding your urge to do things the way you want them to be. Other people look up to you already for what you have achieved and don’t understand why you need to do more or have more. You are feeling guilty on days off. It feels like you are not productive, wasting precious time, and not achieving enough. You struggle to rest because yet again, you’re not “doing” when you rest.
What are the 3 biggest worries then?!
In summary, you subconsciously have these 3 worries: fear of judgment, fear of abandonment, and the fear of not being good enough. Why am I saying this subconsciously? Because these 3 fears are the basic fear everyone has but during life, they get more or less profound based on our experiences and personalities. Imagine small babies they can’t be abandoned, if they are, they can’t survive. They need a guardian who will feed them, give them shelter and love. When we’re older, we want to belong, we want to be a part of a family, a group of friends, a community, etc.
The fear of judgment is huge, also related to the fear of not being good enough. What would people say? How do they see us? What if they don’t like us? Etc. We often create the worst-case “what if” scenarios! Who don’t we want to disappoint? Ourselves or others, maybe both? We need to manage those fears constantly. We as human beings judge all the time whether we want it or not. I can show you how but that’s not the point of this article. But we can learn to manage our fears, especially those linked to our high achieving habits so we avoid burnout and enjoy our lives!
So now, what do you do? Here’s a tool I’ve promised! Use this 4 step P.A.C.E. process to check with yourself if you’re heading in the right direction while you’re working hard to achieve your goals.
Step 1: P = Powerful questions. Ask yourself powerful questions like What brings you joy is it work or something else? What about the work? Why are you working so hard? Is it because you want to make more money, be promoted, because you’re afraid of being judged by your boss or your friends and family or because you are avoiding something else? Be honest with yourself! Dig deep! If you had 6 months to live what would you choose to do, how would you choose to live? How is it different from what you’re doing today? How can you do more of what you love and less of what you don’t enjoy? You may be surprised what you’ll find out!
Step 2: A = Answer your Why. Then answer this: Why am I striving towards a particular goal? What’s my why and what’s the impact of my actions on my loved ones? What does it cost me? What does it cost them to be around me?
Step 3: C = Choice. You always have a choice even if you don’t want to see it as a choice!. Every choice has its consequence. It’s the basic rule of action and reaction. What’s the consequence of your choice?
Step 4: E = Energy. You can’t give what you don’t have. You need to be recharging your batteries on regular basis. Just like your phone needs to be charged. If you use it heavily, the battery runs out faster! Schedule your energy recharge without guilt. It’s a necessity. Warning you’re running into burnout if you keep hitting the snooze button!
What to say at the end?! There is nothing wrong with being a high achiever! The opposite is true! You are likely a very successful person! But success doesn’t always equal happiness. Therefore, it’s important to know who you are and how to manage yourself, your goals, and your energy so you can be successful, happy and healthy! Hope you found this article useful. Now, I am curious to know, what other challenges are you, as a high achiever, facing?
Marketa Huzel, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Marketa is a Transformation Coach who is passionate about personal development ‒ helping high achievers to turn their inner turmoil into inner peace, their exhaustion into sparkling energy, and getting them unstuck by directing them on their path to their life purpose.
Marketa combines her 16 years of experience in corporate roles with a Master’s Degree in Education, certificates in Human Resources Management, and Co-Active Coaching (CPCC).
Marketa allows you to take off your superhero cape, creating a safe space for you to discover who you really are so you can create the life you want. She will offer you insights that will allow you to tap into your existing inner wisdom to find your new path, leaving you with new perspectives and greater clarity. She will help you assess your values, beliefs, habits, and more and transform your life as a whole with her signature “Kaleidoscope 5R Shift Method”.
Marketa continuously develops her skills by embodying her coaching. She is a passionate reader, educating herself in neuroscience, psychology, and other areas that impact personal development. With two young kids of her own, she strives to ensure her kids benefit from her expertise while not being “the mom who kept coaching us even if we were not interested in it but we knew she always meant well”.
Marketa loves the beauty of life, enjoying travelling, sightseeing, music, playing sports, spending time in nature on the beach, mountains, or woods.
