Written by: Tania Friedlander, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Delivering feedback can be challenging for many. Giving critical feedback is hard, and even harder for the person receiving it. Sharing critical feedback is inevitable but doing so constructively is the difference between an effective, strategic leader who empowers, and a boss who simply manages. The reason most managers struggle with delivering feedback is because they don’t know how to give bad news, and don’t know how to create a conducive environment to give it in.
Cultivating psychological safety, which is the belief that you won’t be punished for making a mistake, and frameworks like “SKS” (to be elaborated on later) can give more confidence to the giver of feedback that they are stating things in a way that can be heard, respected, and acted upon.
Setting the Stage
It is crucial to create a safe, positive environment in which to deliver critical feedback. This allows the receiver to feel like they are being approached as a collaborator and teammate, and not an adversary or someone who is going to be punished. They are then able to absorb what is being told to them without defensiveness that would otherwise occur. Here are 3 easy tips to help you:
1. Know your intention.
Have a clear understanding as to why you need to deliver this critical feedback to your team members.
2. Ask permission.
As leaders, we often overlook this important step. Simply phrasing your need to speak with a team member as a question shows respect as you are allowing them to get in a healthy state of mind to receive the feedback, which builds trust in you as an effective leader.
3. Share your intent.
Prior to starting your conversation with the team member, share your intent with them so that they understand why you are having this conversation from a positive perspective.
If delivering feedback goes poorly, most times the giver will assume it was because of the content of what was delivered. However, the fact is that feedback doesn’t have to hurt. We all want to improve, to uncover our blind spots and to advance to the next level of our careers. This not only helps us, but helps our teams and companies. So, everyone is incentivized for feedback to be given effectively. Most people don’t complain that they were told how to improve, but rather about the way they were given information or that they weren’t given feedback to improve at all.
If people feel psychologically safe, they want to know the hard truth from you. If they don’t, disapproval or negative feedback can devastate. While this is the case, you cannot make others feel safe receiving feedback from you. What you can do is strive to cultivate the relationship and encourage a transparent conversation going both ways.
Framework
A popular, effective feedback mechanism is called SKS. It’s a process by which we share with others what they should Stop, Keep, and Start doing. When giving feedback, having this framework can help ground the information in reality, and also provide some hope to the recipient: it’s not all bad, and there is a way to remedy what is not working.
Ask yourself and your team 3 simple questions in order to deliver invaluable feedback:
What should I/they stop doing?
What should I/they keep doing
What should I/they start doing?
To delve deeper, consider the following:
Stop
What are you currently doing that you know you can or should stop, but have fallen in a rut regarding?
Keep
How might it impact your effectiveness if you did more of “x”?
Start
What benefits might starting to do “x” give to you, your team or your organization?
Tania Friedlander, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tania is an attorney by training and a former champion athlete.
She has trained at world-leading coaching institutions. She is an International Coach Federation Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and a Certified Gallup Global Strengths Coach.
She is driven by her passion for helping individuals break through their challenges, whether professional or personal. She has the privilege of working with executives and emerging leaders from global Fortune 500 companies using evidence-based coaching assessments, frameworks, and tools. Her approach is designed to increase connectivity, awareness, and accountability to elevate the internal dynamic, increase morale, and enhance workplace culture. She is also on the executive team at SteerUs, the world's first soft skills academy, and has led many workshops and seminars on leveraging strengths.
