Written by: Suzanne Glendenning, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How often do you use your ‘mute’ symbol? I’m not necessarily referring solely to the option we have for on-line calls, although we have become used to either ‘muting’ or being ‘muted’ during these times. The mute symbol can in fact be quite symbolic.
For some it is a relief to know others cannot hear you. It gives a certain freedom. It feels as if it gives a little extra power in that you are in control of your audio.
Sometimes of course the host will ‘mute’ you or ask you to mute yourselves so a speaker can present uninterrupted. This is respectful and makes the call more meaningful for everyone. But what if someone doesn’t mute and the entire audience participates unwillingly and often begrudgingly in whatever that person is engaging in whilst on the call. It can be funny, distracting, annoying, or a behaviour which really affects you because it’s simply impolite and disrespectful.
How often have you wanted to ‘mute’ someone else and just stop the noise?
People calling out that “you are muted” and although your focus is on speaking, you forget that you have blocked your ability to do so.
If you have the ability to communicate verbally and be understood, then you are privileged and it’s worth remembering that. Not everyone has this ability, this gift, this privilege.
Do You Have a Personal ‘Mute’ Key?
What about our personal inbuilt mute key? The one we default to when we feel we cannot be heard or that what we have to say is not important enough for us to take the limelight. To step up and be heard. How often do we block our interaction?
As a leadership and executive coach, I have people tell me they struggle to speak out during meetings and actually prefer to have them on-line so they can merge safely into the background. You might be noticed. Judged. Putting your head up and speaking out can be risky.
In fact, using your mute key to hide is far riskier. It prevents you from participating completely, sharing your knowledge and expertise, and stepping into the space of owning your opinion and contribution.
So many clients, particularly in the senior management level, privately struggle with the challenge of speaking out, confidently presenting their ideas or objections around project development or team dynamics.
Much of this comes down to a lack of self-belief and self-confidence and this is a challenge which can impact on everyday decisions and the outcomes of those
decisions. Working with people to overcome these challenges is something I love doing simply because the results can be life changing.
Why do People Use Their ‘Mute’ Key?
People use their mute key because it seems easier, however nothing could be further from the truth.
I have the privilege of working with an amazing group of people in the coaching space, on climate action, regeneration, sustainability, and social justice. Our project, Imaginal Communities, doesn’t simply speak out about the issues we are concerned about, but rather invite others to participate in discussion which, hopefully, will lead to positive action.
Our approach to climate action and the environmental challenges we are all facing is to speak out, ask questions, enquire, discuss, and take whatever action we are able to take to make a positive difference. To freely enter developmental relationships which enable us to discover our own truth and purpose.
How do you explore with a topic as big as climate action, and how can we, as coaches explore that space to create community engagement? How do communities come together through related issues?
Interestingly, staying silent is an action in itself. It has its place and silent spaces are of value. Staying silent because you are afraid to commit to participating is another issue.
A question for you
Are you choosing to merge safely into the background and let others speak out and take the slightly unknown but immensely important path of creating positive change? Where are you choosing to put yourself?
Next question. Why are you choosing that?
Open up. Speak out. Ask questions. Be involved. Be who you are and how you are without fear of judgement. Know and respect your silent times for the place they also hold in our daily engagements.
What Will ‘Unmuting’ Get for Me?
The possibilities are endless. You may discover something about yourself you did not know, or believe. The feedback and input from others can be invaluable in providing insight into your thinking and the contribution you are making to a project or discussion.
Being (n) has many meanings and among them – existence, presence, individual, essence, core, self …. and the list goes on. Being present. Being you. Being a person who participates and gives what they have to give in a particular space.
Spending your energy hiding and constantly using your ‘mute key’ is exhausting and diminishes your ability to fulfill your potential. What would you rather be doing?
What would you rather be achieving?
At the end of the day, it’s about choices, but be mindful of the reason behind your choices and what that will get for you. If there is still the fear factor lurking there, then disengage the ‘mute key’ and contact someone who you can work with to help you speak out with confidence.
Suzanne Glendenning, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Around 20 years as a qualified coach, mentor, and Master NLP Practitioner, together with many years in corporate and business have given Suzanne a unique understanding and appreciation of the challenges many women face in business today. Gaining clarity around the passion and purpose for their business or their leadership role and finding the life balance they deserve to have. Suzanne uses the tools, strategies and experience she possesses to assist clients explore what is possible for them and the courage to go for it. The courage to gain control of their lives. She does it with compassion and integrity.
