The Power of Re-Framing and How Shifting Your Mindset Transforms Trauma
- Brainz Magazine
- Mar 31
- 11 min read
Written by PJ Jones, Life Coach, Podcast Host
PJ Jones is a survivor, author of A Place to Belong, and a holistic trauma-informed life coach. Through personal resilience and decades of experience, PJ empowers others to heal, reframe their stories, and find strength in their journeys.
There was a time when every memory of my past felt like an indelible mark, a reminder of the moments when life seemed unbearable. I remember waking up on mornings when the weight of those memories would hang over me like a thick fog, making it hard to see any possibility of a brighter day. Yet, amid that uncertainty, I discovered that the very lens through which I viewed my experiences could be transformed. Re-framing became a gentle yet deliberate act of quiet rebellion against the notion that trauma was solely a source of pain. This process involved more than just changing my thoughts; it was about reshaping my inner narrative and recognizing that within the depths of hardship, there lay the seeds of strength.
Embracing re-framing meant reimagining my past not as a series of failures or limitations but as a tapestry woven with lessons and moments of unexpected growth. I began to see that each challenging experience had imparted a unique insight, a hidden resilience that I had never before acknowledged. By shifting my perspective, I started to interpret my struggles as chapters in a story of survival and gradual empowerment. This mental shift didn’t erase the pain, but it allowed me to step back and view it with compassion and curiosity, an opportunity to learn rather than a verdict of defeat.
Over time, I realized that re-framing was not a linear process but an ongoing dialogue with myself. There were days when old wounds would resurface with a sting that was hard to ignore, yet each time I allowed myself to pause and gently reassess the narrative, I found a way to infuse those memories with meaning. I began to understand that trauma could be reinterpreted as a source of creative inspiration, a catalyst that spurred me to explore new ways of understanding the world. In this ever-evolving process, I found solace in knowing that my journey was uniquely my own and that the courage to transform my perspective was a powerful act of self-liberation.
Sharing this re-framing journey with others has been both humbling and invigorating. I’ve learned that when we open up about our struggles and the transformative steps we take to redefine them, we invite connection and understanding. It’s in those shared moments, whether over a quiet conversation or through the written word, that we begin to see the universal threads of resilience that bind us all. This ongoing journey of re-framing isn’t about erasing the past but about continuously reinterpreting it in a way that nurtures hope and personal growth, leaving ample space for new chapters to unfold.
Why re-framing is so powerful
Trauma often distorts the narrative we tell ourselves, embedding deep-seated beliefs that feel both real and unchangeable.
Many of us have wrestled with thoughts like:
“I am broken.”
“Nothing good ever happens to me.”
“I will never be able to move forward.”
These declarations can become the backdrop of our inner dialogue, painting our experiences with a hue of despair that overshadows our true potential. In my own experience, such thoughts would creep in during moments of stress, subtly convincing me that my past defined my future. Yet, the first step in transforming this narrative was recognizing that these aren’t immutable truths but mere interpretations of my reality.
Understanding that these self-limiting beliefs are just one way of seeing things can be liberating. When I started questioning the absolute nature of these ideas, I began to see the room for change. Every time I caught myself thinking, “I am broken,” I paused and reflected on moments where I had shown remarkable resilience, even in small, seemingly insignificant ways. I discovered that reframing isn’t about denying the pain but rather about examining it from a different angle. This shift in perspective allowed me to see that the negative labels were not facts about who I am but rather reflections of a temporary mindset shaped by past experiences.
The process of re-framing involves intentionally transforming our inner dialogue. It means replacing those heavy, limiting statements with empowering ones that acknowledge both our struggles and our strengths.
For example, instead of saying “I am broken,” I now remind myself:
“I have survived, which means I am stronger than I thought.”Instead of dwelling on the belief that “Nothing good ever happens to me,” I choose to focus on the lessons learned even during dark times, recognizing that:
“Even in my pain, I have found lessons and resilience.” And rather than resigning myself to the idea that I’m stuck, I embrace the possibility of change by affirming:\
“I am in control of what I do next.”This simple yet profound re-labeling of my thoughts has been a cornerstone in my journey toward reclaiming power over my narrative.
Implementing these shifts requires daily practice and self-compassion. I started by writing down my recurring negative thoughts and then actively challenging them with tangible evidence of my capabilities and past successes. On days when self-doubt threatened to take over, I made it a habit to list one or two moments where I had overcome an obstacle or made a positive decision, even if it was as small as choosing to take a walk when I felt overwhelmed. This practice not only helped me see the gradual accumulation of positive experiences but also served as a reminder that I am not defined by my trauma. The work of re-framing is ongoing, and while it has transformed my approach to life, it also leaves ample space for further exploration and deeper insights in the next part of this journey.
My own re-framing journey
As a survivor, I spent years feeling like my trauma was the only story worth telling. I remember waking up in the mornings. Every day felt like a reminder that I didn’t belong. It wasn’t just a small sense of sadness; it was a deep-seated belief that every ache and scar was evidence of a past I could never escape. I would often look at myself in the mirror, feeling worthless, to hear voices whispering, “You’re meant to be here in the storm.” In those moments, it seemed impossible to imagine a day when peace could find its way into my heart.
The turning point came slowly, almost imperceptibly, as I began to question those thoughts that had defined me for so long. I started jotting down memories, both painful and unexpectedly joyful, in a battered notebook I kept close. One day, as I reread an entry about a small act of kindness from a stranger, a smile shared at a bus stop, I realized that even in my darkest hours, there were glimmers of light. That realization nudged me to shift my focus: instead of letting old pain dictate who I was, I began to see each memory as a piece of a larger mosaic. I learned that while the past was unchangeable, my interpretation of it could evolve.
Viewing my life as a journey of resilience wasn’t a decision made overnight. It grew out of countless small steps, each one a victory in its own right. I remember the day I decided to transform my pain into purpose by creating the Soulful Resilience Journey. It wasn’t about erasing what had happened but about honoring it in a way that empowered me to move forward. Organizing events like Fearless and Flourishing became practical ways to connect with others who were also learning to reframe their narratives. In one of those summits, I sat in a circle with individuals sharing raw, unfiltered stories, and it struck me: our collective vulnerability was a source of immense strength.
I didn’t erase my past. I re-framed it piece by piece, day by day. I began to see my experiences as a platform from which I could step into my power and help others do the same. Whether it was through one-on-one coaching or simply sharing honest reflections over a cup of coffee, I discovered that acknowledging our pain can be the first step toward true transformation. This ongoing process isn’t about neat endings or clean slates; it’s about embracing every part of our story while opening up to new possibilities. There’s so much more to explore in this journey of re-framing, and each chapter leaves room for deeper insights yet to come.
4 steps to re-framing and shifting your mindset
If you’re feeling stuck in painful thought patterns, here’s how to start re-framing your trauma into empowerment:
1. Identify limiting beliefs
Start by noticing the negative thoughts that repeat in your mind. Write them down in a journal or on sticky notes, whatever feels most personal and accessible to you. Do they center around feelings of worthlessness, paralyzing fear, or deep hopelessness? For example, if you often think, "I am weak because of what I’ve been through," take a moment to write that phrase down. Notice how your body reacts and what memories or sensations come up. Awareness is the first step to changing them, and seeing these beliefs on paper can help you begin to detach from them as absolute truths.
2. Challenge the thought
Next, ask yourself: Is this 100% true? Sit with the thought for a few minutes and list any evidence that contradicts it. For instance, when you catch yourself thinking "I am weak," recall moments when you showed immense courage, like the time you managed to push through an overwhelming day at work or made the difficult decision to seek help when you needed it most. Use prompts like, “What are three times I proved my strength?” By actively questioning these limiting beliefs, you start to see that they are not unchangeable facts but rather reflections of past pain that no longer define you.
3. Re-frame with empowering language
Once you have identified and challenged these thoughts, it’s time to replace them with language that uplifts you. Turn the old belief into a new, empowering statement. For example:
Example Re-Frame:
"I am weak because of my trauma."
"I have endured things many never will, and I am still standing; that is strength."
Spend a few minutes each day repeating these new affirmations, perhaps out loud or in front of a mirror, so that your brain starts to internalize them. Consider writing them on index cards and placing them around your living space to serve as constant reminders that your experiences have fortified you rather than diminished you.
4. Shift from “why me?” to “what now?” and surround yourself with empowering influences
Pain often leads us to ask, “Why did this happen to me?” a question that traps us in the past. Instead, try asking:
“What can I learn from this?”
“How can this experience make me stronger?”
“What’s the next best step I can take?”
This simple shift in questioning moves you from a place of victimhood to one of active survival and emerging leadership. Additionally, recognize that who you listen to and what you consume plays a huge role in your healing journey. Follow people who genuinely uplift you, read books that inspire resilience, and engage in supportive communities like my Empowered Voices Summit, where transformation feels not only possible but celebrated. Many speakers at these summits have faced devastating challenges and used re-framing to turn their pain into purpose. Their stories, shared in intimate conversations and small group settings, serve as constant reminders that rising from trauma is not only possible but can become a beacon for others, setting the stage for further exploration and growth in your journey.
Re-framing is a daily practice
Re-framing is not a one-time switch; it’s a practice. I remember waking up on days when old, familiar thoughts would creep in uninvited, whispering doubts and fears that once held me captive. In those moments, I learned to pause and take a few deep breaths, reminding myself that a single negative thought does not define my entire day. I’d often keep a small notebook by my bed to jot down these intrusive thoughts as soon as I recognized them, treating each entry as an opportunity to challenge and reshape the narrative. This simple act of writing down my thoughts, however fleeting, became a powerful reminder that I could interrupt the cycle and start steering my mind in a new direction.
In the quiet moments of the morning, I began to build a routine that anchored my day in self-reflection. I would spend ten minutes each day reviewing the negative statements that surfaced, questioning their validity, and listing counter-examples from my own life. For instance, if a thought like “I am not enough” crept in, I would remind myself of the times I achieved small victories like organizing a community event or helping a friend through a tough time. These examples were not grand feats, but they were real, tangible proof of my resilience. Over time, this daily practice helped me see that each negative thought was just a momentary glitch in my perception, not a permanent truth.
Mindfulness played a key role in this process, too. Whenever I felt overwhelmed by the resurgence of painful memories, I would step outside for a brief walk or sit quietly in a corner with my eyes closed. Focusing on my breath, I counted each inhale and exhale, using that rhythm to center my thoughts on the present. One afternoon, during a particularly challenging moment at work, I took a five-minute break to simply observe the world around me the rustle of leaves, the distant hum of conversations. That short pause reminded me that life continues beyond my internal struggles, and it helped me regain control over my emotions. Such moments of mindful presence became little anchors that kept me grounded and focused on the now.
Every time I caught myself falling back into old thought patterns, I treated it as a chance to reclaim a piece of my story. I began to view these interruptions not as failures but as signposts guiding me toward a more empowering narrative. By continuously challenging and re-framing those limiting beliefs, I gradually transformed them into reminders of my endurance and strength. It wasn’t about erasing the past; it was about choosing a perspective that allowed me to build on every experience, no matter how painful, and step into my power. This ongoing process of re-framing leaves ample room for further exploration and deeper insights in the next part of the journey.
Your story is not over: It’s just beginning
Re-framing your trauma is more than just a daily habit; it’s a transformative journey that reshapes the very way you view your past and your potential. Over time, I’ve discovered that even when old, painful thoughts try to reassert themselves, you can gently guide your mind back to a place of strength by acknowledging the small victories. Whether it’s taking five minutes to jot down a positive memory or pausing to breathe deeply during moments of stress, each conscious effort builds a foundation of resilience that reclaims your power.
As you begin to replace self-limiting thoughts with more empowering ones, you may notice subtle shifts in your daily life. I often share examples from my own practice, like setting aside time in the morning for a gratitude ritual or finding a quiet space to reflect on one positive thing that happened during the day. These simple practices, when repeated over time, can help you challenge and change the narrative that once defined you, turning what was once a source of pain into a platform for growth and empowerment.
If you’re ready to move beyond surviving and step into thriving, I warmly invite you to reach out to me for personalized guidance and support. My services are designed to help you manage your trauma, re-frame your inner dialogue, and build a life of flourishing resilience. Together, we can develop tailored strategies that honor your unique experiences while empowering you to take confident, proactive steps towards a brighter future. I’m here to listen, support, and walk with you on every step of this transformative journey.
Remember: You are not defined by what happened to you. You are defined by what you do next. Embrace the power of re-framing, trust in your inner strength, and let each new day be a step towards the life you deserve. "You are not defined by what happened to you. You are defined by what you do next."
Read more from PJ Jones
PJ Jones, Life Coach, Podcast Host
PJ Jones is a survivor, author, and trauma-informed life coach dedicated to empowering others through resilience and healing. Overcoming a painful past, PJ transformed adversity into purpose, helping individuals reframe their stories and reclaim their strength. As the founder of Soulful Resilience Journey, PJ provides coaching, resources, and events to support healing and empowerment. Their mission: No survivor left unheard.
