Written by: Brian Wood, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When looking at an identical image, different people will see different things. Our perspective is the byproduct of our environment, thoughts, and experiences. A transformational leader once told me "We are the experts of our experiences." It's not up to me to tell you how you should feel based on what you've experienced, just like you should respect an alternate interpretation based on my journey.
There are fewer things more divisive than the definition, expression, and perception of patriotism. We tend to use absolutes when describing a “good” or “bad” American, but this designation shouldn’t be an absolute evaluation. Be careful as good or bad can get us in trouble especially when the either/or factor is included. You are either a good American who is loyal and patriotic or you’re a bad American who is angry, ungrateful, and always bringing up the past.
Which one of the following sounds “good”?
The person who blindly follows and agrees with everything our country has ever represented throughout the history of time without an ounce of critical thinking.
The person who fails to recognize anything positive about the United States of America including the history of resiliency, the national parks, the people (including those who educate, put their lives on the line and provide health care).
Neither of these options sound good to me! But between the two extremes, a perspective exists that includes the home team effect and situational emotion.
Situational Emotion
When emotions show up it can complicate matters, which requires emotional intelligence. So, recognizing the triggers that impact our behavior and tenancies during certain situations is critical. As an example, someone could default to blindly defending (like a parent might defend their son/daughter) any time a single critical word about the USA is voiced.
That was a long time ago!
We’re still the best country in the world!
Emotional intelligence allows space for a variety of emotions based on the situation.
My dad’s funeral was over 20 years ago. One of the emotions that I experienced at his ceremony was extreme gratitude for the veteran organization that responded and honored my father for his service in the Korean war. They showed him respect and brotherhood with that US flag and I will never forget the pride I felt when seeing our flag displayed at my father’s service.
Another example of situational emotion also involved my dad, who was an African American born in 1932 and served in the US Army. Despite fighting and risking his life for his country, he experienced blatant racism and injustice for several decades. So, is it possible for me to reflect on my dad, look at our flag and contemplate the hypocrisy (while being outraged)?
Yes.
Situational emotion could surface for the gold star parent whose daughter was a causality while serving in the Navy. Imagine you are that parent, and someone tells you “You shouldn’t be upset when someone takes a knee during the national anthem – it’s not meant to be disrespectful to your daughter.”
And the mother who tragically lost her son to a racist act of brutality. The person who murdered her son was never held accountable and justice was never served. Imagine the reaction if you told her “You should protest ‘this’ way but not in a way that desecrates Old Glory!”
The Home Team Effect
We can show up with both pride and animosity when routing for our home team because we desperately want team success. Despite this passion coming from a place of love for either perception ‒ pride or animosity – it can be misinterpreted.
The pride of being from New Jersey (true story) resonates with me just like your home state, town, city, street might be a source of pride for you. Regardless of what state you’re from or region of the US you may reside, most people are excited to connect with others from similar geographic locations.
On the animosity side, the fan (remember fan is short for fanatic) is outraged when the team underperforms, doesn’t adjust the game plan and/or doesn’t bring the effort. This fan is enraged because they love their team so much!
And as a parent, you want your son or daughter to always improve and not leave any potential on the table. Do you push them and drive them because you hate them? You probably motivate them and help them understand opportunities for improvement because you love them unconditionally.
Think about your experience if you’ve ever competed athletically. “What the Hell guys ‒ are we going to play some defense tonight?!” I only say that because I love my team and I know we can be better. I don’t accept mediocrity, average or pretty good because we were meant to be exceptional.
There is not one approach that all members of Team USA must take to help our team win.
Our flag can symbolize hope and inspire the goal of liberty and justice for all, and it can also serve as a reminder of how the nation has fallen well short of its noble ideals. It is a matter of perspective and there is room for more than one point of view. Don’t forget to lead by understanding other positions and perceptions.
Brian Wood, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Brian Wood combines 30 years of corporate experience with his background as an athlete, certified player agent (NBA, WNBA, and FIBA), and a certified professional success coach to provide clients with a unique perspective and guidance toward the next level of achievement. Wood is passionate about continuous personal and professional growth including organizational development, training, and gamification. He is enthusiastic about helping leaders leverage their gifts to drive impact and success. Wood supports major corporations, professional sports organizations, and municipalities. He provides confidential, professional, and executive coaching, speaking engagements, virtual and in-person facilitation.
