The Power of No But
- Brainz Magazine
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
Gayatri is unique as she combines 30 years of training and teaching since 2012 into everything she does.
I just wrote a song, something I do daily. Today, it was on the power of No But. I was in conversation with a dear friend of mine last week, and she used the phrase No But multiple times. Of course, as is my tendency, I said. The only but is the one you sit on! I say this far too often.
As an English woman, I grew up overusing the word Sorry. Use to hearing and saying No But, along with other unhelpful words.
I actually wrote a song about the use of the word Sorry as well; see below.
So what is the issue with no but, and why make the joke of sitting on one?
Well, anyone who becomes conscious realises the power of our words, and of course, spellings are literally spells.
No But, closes a conversation, the person listening is put into shutdown. The flow of the conversation suddenly and sharply comes to a full stop!
It can also be used in a passive-aggressive way, often unconsciously, to gaslight and manipulate the person or people listening. Which, of course, is usually very counterproductive.
So what is the alternative? Flip your No But into Yes And.
Yes And. opens up, creates a good flow, is positive, and frames the way for an explanation. The people who hear Yes And will be opening to listening; they are invited to continue on.
Experiment with your wordplay:
Try it for yourself. Anytime you catch a No But statement in a conversation, flip it and state, “What I meant to say was Yes And”.
If the other person says it, you can say, “Please can you rephrase to Yes And, and let the BUT be only used in the context of something we sit on”.
Of course, you don’t have to say anything about sitting on your But’s. However, you can ask them to try the rephrased Yes, and.
The other word you can try to swap out is Sorry and put in Apologise instead.
Sorry is to mean you're in sorrow. Not a state of being you want to call in on a regular basis.
If you are English like me, it can take a while to drop the word “Sorry” as it is so entrenched in our culture. However, I have practiced for a while and rarely say “Sorry” or “No But” anymore.
Yes, and I do say “apologies” if I make a mistake. As well as forgiving myself after taking responsibility for my actions and words.
Let me know how you get on. There are lots of other spells that you can also work on once Sorry and No But have been dropped from your everyday vocabulary. Good luck and have fun!
The songs I wrote, which you can also listen to on YouTube, Suno, and Instagram. See the link from my Website.
Song 1. “I Hear it all the Time”
I hear it all the time
No but
I always reply
There is only one but
The one you sit on
Why you cry do you reply
Which this comment
For No but is a dangerous spell
Instead use the magick of
Yes and
The opposite and mighty word YES
Yes is empowering
It makes people listen
As it is not a stop sign
But permission to explain why
Yes is a magical word
Use it and be amazed where it takes you
Yes And
Leads you to down the road
You can explain why
Tell a story
Deliver the information in a edible way
No but
Puts a stop to creativity
Stops people in their flow
Makes people stubborn
Argumentative
Aggressive
And makes a poor show
So try out Yes And
Like a new fancy outfit
Notice the difference
So flip the No But
To Yes And
And enjoy the benefits
Of opening the flow
Yes and
Yes and
Yes yes yes
Song 2. “No Longer Sorry”
What is that I hear you say all the time?
Sorry
Sorry
what does that mean?
it means to be in sorrow
so you're telling me that you're sad?
You are sad just because you're running a little bit late?
You only need to say it when you are truly sad
How about using a better word?
Apologise
To apologise is to take responsibility
It is much more thoughtful
so let's drop this word sorry
replace it when needed with apology
Notice how you feel when you swap the words around
when you take responsibility
Now you are empowered and free
Respecting yourself and your fellow human beings
Let's have some fun
be playful with our words
mindful of their meanings
reframing
rearranging
(Chorus)
No need to get your knickers in a twist for being five minutes late
Don’t say sorry
you were doing your best
that my friend makes it all alright
Read more from Gayatri Lindsey Robertson
Gayatri Lindsey Robertson, Wellbeing Teacher and Coach
Gayatri combines all of her experience into a unique offering as a Wellbeing Teacher and Medicine woman.
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