Written by Emily Najemy, Parent Coach
Emily Najemy is an aspiring thought leader in the realm of conscious parenting, and challenges consumers to explore and discuss the systems and institutions that strongly call for corrective parenting re-education.
In the whirlwind of parenting, finding moments for self-care can seem like a luxury, but "me-time" is essential for maintaining balance and well-being. Prioritizing personal downtime not only rejuvenates parents but also enhances their ability to nurture and connect with their families.
The importance of self-care for parents and caregivers
Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet crazily demanding roles one can take on. As a parent or caregiver, you are constantly giving your time, energy, and love to your children. While this is a beautiful and necessary part of the journey, it's crucial to remember that your well-being matters just as much. Self-care is not a luxury; it's a necessity. When you care for yourself as much as you do for others, you build the capacity to be more present, patient, and emotionally available for your children.
Why self-care is essential in parenting
Think of self-care as the oxygen mask on an airplane. You are instructed to put your mask on first before assisting others. Not to be selfish but for survival. The same principle applies to nurturing humans. If you’re running on empty emotionally, physically, or mentally, your capacity to care for your children, or anyone for that matter, diminishes. When you prioritize your own mental and physical health, you are equipping yourself to handle the daily challenges of parenting like temper tantrums and teenage rebellion, and even to the depths of shared tragedy. Through self-care, we build the resiliency, compassion, and creativity to face parenthood with compassion for both your reality and your child’s simultaneously. This supports us to be there for and with our children, because it implies we have the capacity to anchor ourselves first so we actually can be their harbor.
Identifying when self-care is needed
Parents who do not maintain self-care often face significant mental health challenges, including chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and burnout. Without regular self-care, the relentless demands of parenting can lead to emotional exhaustion, feelings of overwhelm, irritability, and even resentment towards their responsibilities. Over time, this neglect can erode one's mental health, making it difficult to respond calmly and thoughtfully to everyday parenting challenges and increasing the likelihood of strained family relationships. The outlook for parents who do not prioritize their well-being can be troubling; they may experience a downward spiral of declining mental and emotional health, which can negatively impact both their quality of life and their ability to parent effectively. In contrast, parents who actively engage in self-care tend to have a more positive prognosis, characterized by enhanced emotional resilience, better stress management, and a more balanced, fulfilling experience of parenthood. Prioritizing well-being enables them to navigate the ups and downs of parenting with greater patience, presence, and joy, benefiting both themselves and their families.
It’s easy to get lost in the whirlwind of overwhelming daily routines and responsibilities. However, there are often signs that indicate when you need to pause and refill your cup. Are you feeling constantly exhausted, irritable, or overwhelmed? Are you having trouble concentrating or experiencing frequent feelings of guilt for not "doing enough"? These are red flags signaling a need for self-care. Take note of these moments. Awareness is the first step to acknowledging that you need to nurture yourself to continue nurturing others.
Managing time to incorporate self-care in not-so-obvious ways
Time management is one of the biggest challenges when trying to incorporate self-care into a busy parenting schedule. It’s important to remember that self-care doesn’t always mean grand gestures or hours of alone time. Here are some less obvious ways to weave self-care into your daily routine:
1. Micro-moments of mindfulness
Take a few seconds to breathe deeply while waiting at a red light, in the grocery line, or during a child's nap. These moments can help center you and reduce stress. Actively make time for your body and mind to decompress from the non-stop ride that is life!
2. Involve the kids in self-care
Activities like family walks, yoga, or even a dance party in the living room can be a way to bond while taking care of your mental and physical health. Never underestimate the power of physical activity as self-care.
3. Routine stacking
Combine self-care with daily routines. Listen to an uplifting podcast or audiobook while doing chores, or stretch for a few minutes while waiting for dinner to cook.
4. Create boundaries around "Me-time"
Even if it's just 15 minutes in the morning or evening, setting clear boundaries around a little bit of "me time" can make a big difference. If you value your “me time”, your child will learn that it is important for you, the relationship, and themselves!
5. Practice saying no
Understand that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Learning to say no to certain commitments or requests can free up time to care for yourself. Remember, you are allowed to say no or change your mind about plans, and that setting boundaries around your time can be a challenge and life-changing.
How self-care enables you to be more as a parent
When you invest in self-care, you are essentially saying to yourself and your family, "I matter too." This powerful message sets a positive example for your children, teaching them the importance of self-love and boundaries. With a replenished mind, body, and spirit, you become more present, more engaged, and more capable of handling the ups and downs of parenting.
Self-care doesn’t just make you a better parent; it makes you a better version of yourself, which, in turn, benefits everyone around you.
The impacts of intergenerational trauma on self-care as a parent
Breaking generational curses in parenthood involves recognizing and interrupting patterns of behavior, beliefs, or trauma that have been passed down through generations. Intergenerational trauma refers to the transmission of trauma from one generation to the next, often stemming from unresolved emotional wounds or adverse experiences faced by previous generations. This trauma can manifest in parenting as heightened anxiety, emotional reactivity, or even difficulty setting healthy boundaries, all of which can make it challenging to prioritize self-care. Parents who carry the weight of intergenerational trauma may feel guilt or fear when taking time for themselves, believing they must always be self-sacrificing or perfect. By acknowledging and healing these inherited wounds, parents can learn to prioritize their well-being, break toxic cycles, and create a healthier, more nurturing environment for their children.
How a parent coach can support your self-care journey
While understanding the importance of self-care is a vital first step, it can be challenging to implement it consistently. This is where a parent coach can make a difference. A parent coach works with you to identify your unique stressors, strengths, and barriers to self-care. They provide personalized strategies, accountability, and encouragement to help you build sustainable self-care routines that align with your lifestyle and parenting values.
With the support of a parent coach, you can learn how to manage your time better, set healthy boundaries, and develop a toolkit of self-care practices that bring relief and rejuvenation into your daily life. This guidance can provide immense relief in parenthood, knowing you have a plan and the support needed to thrive both as a parent and as an individual. Investing in parent coaching is an investment in yourself, which ultimately benefits your entire family.
The highest form of self-love
Parents must believe in themselves and their capacity to create positive change for themselves, their life, and their families because this belief forms the foundation for growth and resilience. It's crucial to understand that falling and failing are not signs of weakness but vital steps toward success. Every stumble provides a learning opportunity, showing both you and your children that persistence, adaptability, and courage are essential life skills. Practicing self-compassion and self-consideration, acknowledging your efforts, embracing your imperfections, and treating yourself with kindness are the highest forms of self-love. When you give yourself grace and understanding, you model these qualities for your children, teaching them to be gentle with themselves when they face challenges. Remember, you are stronger and more capable than you know. You've got this: every step, every lesson, and every moment shapes a better future for you and your family. I believe in you.
Emily Najemy, Parent Coach
Emily Najemy, as the owner of Soft Eyes Intentional Parenting pushes forward to bring about that corrective re-education to consumers through parent coaching services and providing access to proper resources and support to parents and childhood professionals alike. Her goal is to aid in the cultivation of sustainable future generations of humans.
