Written by: Brigitte Münch, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
One of the most important and effective leadership skills is active listening. In a world of overflowing information, permanent input, entertainment and consumption, however, it seems to become harder and harder to train and apply this silent skill. Here are some thoughts which may help you to better listen to others – and yourself.
Please think a moment about a situation where someone was carefully listening to you. How did you feel? How did that impact the way you were talking and thinking? And which effect did that have on the content, the “what” you were saying? And on your own reflection? What happened after that?
Listening is not the same as hearing what the other person is saying. Listening goes beyond the mere physical perception of words. It includes the sense of the tone, the vocabulary the talking person uses, the level of the voice, the vibes between the words.
A recent study by a team of researchers including Harvard Business School Professors Raffaella Sadun and Joseph Fuller, who analyzed thousands of executive job search descriptions created over a 17-year period, shows that companies are increasingly seeking socially adept leaders. The demand for “social skills”, being defined as “the ability to read and react to others based on tacit knowledge”, has experienced sustained growth over the last years. Lonely decision-makers and small steering committees have become dinosaurs, and today’s leaders, especially at the top level of organizations, must gather input and advice from a larger and more diverse range of experts to achieve corporate goals and solve increasingly difficult problems. A broader complexity associated with managing larger and more knowledge-intensive organizations require different managerial capabilities, the researchers say, and the ability to relate to others is an important skill for today´s and future leaders to develop.
For everyone who has ever worked in or with mid-size or larger organizations, it does not come by surprise that executives who ask and listen are a sought-after species. Yet, in a world of time pressure, quick decisions, “time is of the essence”-mantras, disruption and distraction, it is hard for many to focus and really hear what others are saying – even though this would not only save time and enable us to work more efficiently but also builds the base layer for good communication and thus better relationships with employees and customers. Also in our private life, the training of our listening skills will lead to better communication and thus a higher quality of relationships.
How do we become better listeners?
1. The surrounding. Our world offers us a lot of distraction, entertainment, information, advertising and noise, and it is not that easy to find a quiet place. To really listen, it is important that we create such a calm environment to sharpen our senses and stay
attentive. That is the first step to active listening: the creation of a tranquil environment, which enables you to listen.
2. Time. It is much harder to really listen when you are under time pressure. Most likely you will think of your next meeting, the pile of work on your desk, your bosses´ requests or anything else instead of being present in your listening. If you have a conversation, which requires your active listening, make sure you give it an appropriate time window.
3. Presence. When you have created the outer environment, make sure you are present – not only physically, but also mentally. Focus on the input, feedback, ideas or messages the talking person conveys. It may help to take a few deep breaths in and out before you start the conversation or meeting. You may also want to place a little “Listen”-note in front of you, which reminds you of your objective to listen.
4. No judgement. Our brains and communication are trained to think inboxes. We are very quick to evaluate what the other person is saying and draw conclusions. We compare, interpret, judge, anticipate and classify in an instant – which means, however, that we are not able to stay attentive and actively listen while our brains and minds are busy with such evaluations. You may want to add “Don´t judge” to your “Listen”-note above to support your pure listening. You can also take notes of the words the talking person uses; write down what has been said and not what your own words would have been or what you think about the words you hear.
5. Questions. Listening and asking to go hand in hand. To make sure you have understood the words and message of the talking person, summarize from time to time what you have heard and ask if that is in line with what the talking person has said. Ask in a way, which motivates and inspires the other person to further develop his/her thoughts and ideas or to ask for supporting resources. By asking questions, you do not only foster an environment of creative brainstorming and joint development of solutions, but most probably you will also gain more clarity for the decisions you have to make.
The ability to actively listen to others and empathize genuinely with others’ experiences, is the foundation for effective and clear communication – which is the basis for good teamwork towards a common goal and for better relationships in our private life. With a little training of your listening muscles, you will be able to positively impact your professional and private environment and increase your leadership and self-leadership qualities. To be able to actively listen to opens doors for creativity, different thinking and innovative solutions. It is not only a science but above all a gift – for all sides including yourself.
Brigitte Münch, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Brigitte Münch is an expert in ethical digital transformation and coaches leaders, teams and companies through their requirements and challenges in our digital times. After more than 20 years in the IT industry, where she worked as legal consultant, negotiator, motivator, advisor, project lead, hamster wheel runner, trainer and mentor in various countries, she decided to combine her digital expertise with her passion for people. She now helps leaders and companies in our digitalized, technologized world to (re)discover their goals and values, talents and potentials and define their mission and vision to create a more inspiring working culture and change results to the better. "Start leading yourself and discover the immense power and potential inside of you, your employees and your company.
