Written by: Camilla Calberg, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Deciding to end a love relationship is hard. You feel vulnerable. You feel overwhelmed. You are afraid of the future, and you start to paint the past sad experiences in a different colour. It wasn’t that bad after all. Your inner you know it’s a lie, but the future makes you scared.
On top of that, you have to deal with a whole set of practice things. Where to live? How can I afford a new home? Suddenly juggling career and parenthood seem an overwhelming demand. Even that can make you go back to what you have, even though that doesn’t make you happy.
You worry about the children. How will they react when you break the sad news that mom and dad will no longer live together and that their home will change forever? You instantly feel their pain and visualise how their hearts break into tears.
It makes so much sense.
Breaking up a family isn’t filled with joy. It is a dark moment, and the situation will affect you for years if you surrender to the situation, stay stuck in negative thought patterns and give your power away.
Research shows that 50% if all first-time marriages fail. 70% of all second-time marriages fail. So, you are not alone.
Adding to the statistics, divorce is the second highest stressor any human being can experience. If you choose wisely, you will find yourself rising about the situation so much faster than you have ever imagined would be possible. And you want to choose to rise wisely and fast so that you can continue to grow your career and create a more beautiful life filled with love, peace, and harmony. For yourself and for your children.
Set yourself up for success
The secret to thriving before, during and post a relationship break-up is to set yourself up for success. Most people don’t know that. Most people choose differently. I want to help you change your perspective that everything is possible and that you can thrive wherever you are in your break-up journey.
Your runway to an effortless break-up and healing experience is by creating a network of professional resources whom you can pull on when a new situation is on the horizon and call in when you need support.
Here’s why you want to build such a network.
If you try to navigate the breakup without help from professional people, you will find yourself being the actor and instructor at the same time. That is the hard path to go if you want a better life filled with peace, freedom, love, and happiness and if you want to give your children a new home filled with unconditional love.
Your children need you more than ever. If you try to be your own therapist and that of your children, you will drain your energy container. You will prolong the healing and the wounds will get deeper.
If you decide to navigate a family or relationship breakup yourself, you will subconsciously entertain negative emotions, negative self-talk, victimhood, guilt, and other energy-draining thoughts for a long time. This will affect your psychological, mental and physical health.
If you desire a better and different life, you want to spend your energy right. The right way forward is to build a network of professional resources with whom you can share and explore what you are most worried about and who want to help you heal fast so that you can focus on what is most important to you.
Many people choose not to invest in themselves when doing through a life crisis like a relationship breakup. This is a big shame as they say no to healing fast. They subconsciously say yes to staying stuck in negative feelings like feeling unworthy of success, feeling unworthy of love, feeling loneliness, feeling betrayed, sadness, anxiety, insomnia, and depression. The spin of negative self-talk and entertaining negative feelings affect how life is experienced. Hard. Dark. Miserable.
The opportunity costs if not seeking support during a life crisis like a family break-up are huge and if you don’t heal fast and grow your awareness of how you show up today and who you want to become you will be at risk of losing your job.
Who to include in your professional network
Here’s a list of 5 forces you want to have in your professional network.
You want a lawyer on your team. Use LinkedIn and Google to find inspiration. When you have a shortlist, do your due diligence before you schedule a discovery call. Check them out on LinkedIn and other platforms and ask their network peers for testimonials. When you do the due diligence work, be curious about what fields of experiences they master and try to identify their real passion. If what you read gives you inner peace, invite the lawyer to a friendly discovery conversation. If you feel there is a match, get that person on your team.
You need money. Have a chat with your bank advisor about loans and other financial plans so that you get the persons on board.
Make sure your health insurance covers psychological support for yourself and your children.
Your children need support. Find a therapist who specialises in helping children heal from their traumatic experiences.
It’s essential for you to work with a therapist so that you can heal your own traumas fast. Don’t use your mom, your sister, or your friends as your therapist. They have their own opinions and maybe sad seeing you hurt. Liaise with a therapist who you trust and who you feel understands you and who sees you as the loving and beautiful person you are.
If you are up for more success and want to create your future, work with a coach who is ready to teach and train you in the importance of changing your thought patterns so that you can become more successful in all aspects of life. Fast.
Stop procrastinating. Move on. Now.
I don’t have the money, is a statement I so often hear when potential clients ask me for a free consultation. The fact is your life is priceless. Your children need you more than ever. If you don’t heal your traumatic experiences fast and quickly find what lights you up, you will be miserable, and your health will be affected and that of your children. You invest in yourself and in your own future. Remember this.
If you do this right, you are off to a great experience and you will find that the break-up is your springboard to a different and much better life for yourself and for your children.
Camilla Calberg, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Camilla Calberg is a thought leader in leadership, elevated mindset and divine living. A toxic love relationship and an international career left her with learning challenges, Camilla created strategies to dramatically transform how life can become a better experience. Camilla has since dedicated her life to assisting others to create a life filled with happiness, love and freedom. She is the Founder and CEO of Calberg Coaching, the academy where business professionals learn how to become Tomorrow's Leaders today. Her mission: revolutionise leadership education.
