Written by: Heidi Richards Mooney, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
As advanced as we are, humans still need to build good habits and let go of the bad ones. Persistence is a habit which, like a muscle, can be exercised and strengthened. In the animal kingdom, persistence comes naturally.
One only has to think of the honey badger, to see persistence in constant action. This small animal is fearless. It will fight a lion and not back down. When it comes to food, the honey badger has no equal. It will eat anything, including venomous snakes. Honey badgers are basically immune to snake venom but they sometimes do get such a dose, that it knocks them out for a few minutes. Once they awaken, it is off to find another snake. They will dig right into a honeybee nest and take on the angry bees to get their honey fix. When it comes to food and fighting, the honey badger gets an A+ in persistence.
The persistence drive in humans has declined over the years. People will find a multitude of reasons to quit any endeavor the moment it gets difficult. They want success but are unwilling to put in the work and stick to a game plan.
There are a number of factors that can be considered, when trying to understand the “it will just be easier to quit,” attitude. As children are raised in a hectic world today, some parents find that they would rather allow their children to give up on certain things, rather than be patient and persistent in teaching them how to win at life. Once a child sees that being aggressively resistant towards a task, allow them the chance to do something more pleasurable, they will build upon that.
As adults of any age will find, the ability to focus on a goal or plan can be difficult. This is due to the fast-paced world we now live in. Giving up is starting to become the normal thing to do, once a roadblock appears. For most people it is far easier to say, “This is too hard, this is too stressful, I cannot do it.” Once they convince themselves that giving up is the way to go, it now becomes the easy way out for anything they do in life. When a relationship becomes difficult, they have already built a neural pathway in their brain…that is the highway to giving up without much of a fight. Everything we do, creates neural pathways and we strengthen those pathways with repetition.
Look around you. When you see successful people, are they the smartest people in the room? Frequently the answer is no. Smart people can get frustrated and give up, just like anyone else. If you really dig deep and even ask some questions, you find the successful people are the ones with the biggest persistence muscle. They were either born with or learned the ability of going forward no matter what life throws at them. In this eBook, the aim is to teach you how to be extremely persistent, while being patient at the same time. Your ultimate growth will come from this.
Silencing the Negative Voice in Your Head
Everyone has the same supercomputer available. Your brain is a marvelous bit of engineering and capable of tremendous amounts of data processing. Your stored memories are all there. Sometimes they are easy to access and at other times, it takes some work to open certain file drawers in your brain.
Not all the memories are good of course. The science of NLP which stands for neuro-linguistic programming can help with changing what a memory means to you. It is certainly an area of study that you should consider. To start your pathway to a better use of your personal supercomputer, let’s talk about “how you talk to yourself.”
This is extremely important when it comes to having a positive mental image of yourself. When a person says that they cannot do something, often an image of failure accompanies that statement. They have stacked experiences of giving up, when the going got hard. In addition, they have added tags, just like the ones people use in social media. For example, you may have mental tags like these:
The list for some people could be very long. It wasn’t always that way. As children, we thought we could do anything, including fly. Years of negative conditioning, from family, friends, school and eventually ourselves…led us to the conclusion that sometimes it was just easier to give up.
When we hit our teenage years, this really kicked into overdrive and eventually the negative self-talk outweighs the positive things we say internally and occasionally out loud with conviction.
The negative self-talk has multiple consequences and must be dealt with. If you know people who suffer from lack of self-esteem, poor self-confidence and depression, then you are likely looking at someone who replays negatives conversations in their head daily. They use poor word choices like, “I can’t, I should have, and I could have been or done this.” Repetitive negative self-talk, layers itself in the brain and one could compare it to a physical thing like artery plaque in the heart region. Both are dangerous and should be taken care of immediately.
In order to build your never give up attitude, you will need to change how you talk to yourself. When you do this, you will not only be unstoppable, but all the negative issues discussed will start to dissolve. You will feel amazing and have superior confidence in all that you do. Finally, those black clouds of depression will lift. A word of caution here, if your depression is a chemical imbalance, then you need to see professional advice.
You can start your can do attitude, by eliminating negative words from your vocabulary and replace them with positive sayings. Start by making a list of negative words you are aware float around in your head like garbage in the ocean. Both need to be cleaned up, or there will be severe consequences. Now draw a line through each negative word and write down a positive word beside it. This will be your new “go to” word.
Understand and accept that getting help is a good thing. Many people feel weak when seeking assistance. However, going to groups that discuss positivity and success, can be very helpful for you. You will meet new people who are on the same journey. They too have decided that persistence and never ever giving up…is the way they want to lead their lives.
Listening to, or reading self-help books is something everyone should be doing and quite frankly, this should be taught in elementary schools and upwards. Using your car as a university is something motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar preached about all his life. He believed listening to the car radio was a time waster and that we should feed our minds with positive words daily. Drive to work and listen to Zig or another master of motivation, Les Brown. In 30 days, you will see a massive difference in the way you think.
For our purposes today, there is a recommended reading. Dr. Shad Helmstetter wrote an outstanding book entitled, “What to say when you talk to yourself.” In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Helmstetter gives you a new way to think about and talk to yourself. Here is an example of a phrase that if you repeated every night before bed, would have a significant effect on your overall self-esteem. “I know that what I believe about myself, is what I will become. So I believe in the best for myself.”
Here is how you stop tossing and turning while replaying negative conversations in your mind. Memorize the phrase Dr. Helmstetter has put together and repeat it over and over until you drift off to sleep. When your mind tries to go back to negativity, tell it to stop and then continue to repeat the phrase. When you believe in the best for yourself, then you will go for it and quitting will not be an option.
To get the most out of the book, pick 5 to10 phrases that resonate with you. When you read those phrases, you get goosebumps or feel a little rush of adrenaline. Write those phrases out on index cards and then put them all around your house.
If you have a family, get them involved. Have 2-3 of these index cards taped to your fridge and tell your kids, before they can open the fridge, they must say each phrase once as if it is a magic key. Put one in your bedroom that you can read while getting dressed in the morning. Don’t forget where you spent a lot of alone time. Yes, the bathroom is a perfect place to put an index card. Read the index card over and over, instead of looking at the drama on your Facebook feed.
Excerpted from The Power of A “Never Give Up” Attitude (ebook)
The book was designed with the goal in mind to give you a new way of thinking. In the book, we show you how to break the negative pathways in your brain and build new strong positive pathways. In addition, we cover why it is so important for your success in life, to fully understand and implement the idea of having a powerful, never give up no matter what attitude. Get your copy today (it's FREE)
Heidi Richards Mooney, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Heidi is a professional speaker (past president for Floridas Speakers Association) an author, coach, small business owner, and internet marketing and social media expert who specializes in helping clients get their Websites, blogs, and social media channels noticed. She teaches audiences how to GROW their business using targeted social media channels including Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, and Pinterest.
Heidi is also the publisher of several online magazines including WE Magazine for Women, Women of Wisdom Magazine, Marketing Small Business Magazine, Inventing Women Magazine, and Flowers Galore Magazine. She brings a unique combination of experience, technical expertise, and traditional marketing skills as well as creative new marketing approaches to maximize her client's online and social media presence. "
