Written by: David Bingley, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I had a client recently where the power of self-awareness and realization came home to roost with a powerful jolt.
Often, we are looking at the world from a singular and perhaps a one-dimensional perspective. Navigating life as if everyone has the same viewpoint and perspective as we do. And time and time again, we run into the same scenarios with the same outcomes that perhaps niggle and frustrate us as they did not pan out as we had planned.
For a bit of context. I had been working with this client for a short while on mindset, and self-awareness in the leadership and empowerment space. We had got to a point where they had been reflecting on who am I being, what am I doing? And who do I want to be and what do I want to do? Or simply how am I showing up? And how do I want to show up?
This client is Asian and was working as an expatriate in Europe, so the clash or cultural perspectives was playing a major role. In their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors.
The client had come to me because they were struggling in their environment and had been told they were underperforming. We had explored this in depth through the lens of self-worth, self-value, and self-esteem in reflections in-between coaching sessions.
Now, resistance to change often manifests in a narrative that sounds like “we must give up our truth and authentic expression in order to be like that”. This is what is at the heart or root of our perspective. Which is in that moment is our truth.
This perspective above was uncovered in a session close to the start or our coaching journey together.
The realization that came about when my client was attending a meeting of about 25 people, senior leaders a level or two higher than them. My client had a question that they wanted to ask. But because of their cultural beliefs and perspective, they chose to remain silent. Assuming that a good portion of the people in the meeting would already know the answer. Because they were more senior and older. So, asking a question would only serve as to waste the time and patience of those attending. And highlighting their inadequacy and compounding the fact that they were underperforming.
The Optics, from the senior leaders, peers and direct reports was that my client was not engaging in the meeting, not focused or motivated. Basically, they had come across as an observer rather than a key participant. Which they were supposed to be.
So, the enquiry of: who am I being and what am I doing? Which we had been working on. Came home to roost brutally! Bringing up a host of feelings and emotions that were to be processed out. Not to mention highlighting the cracks in their belief systems which needed to be recalibrated and reformatted. Using the lens of: who do I want to be and what do I want to do?
From my client’s perspective, they were being respectful, professional, and mindful of their time and that of others'. The Optics from the group were different. There was a misalignment. Leading up to this point of realization. Which had an impact that was physical, mental and emotional.
We viewed this as a learning and opportunity in our coaching session. Looking at what did I learn? and what could I do differently? Starting with my client’s initial perspective of how they needed to show up was counter intuitive to their belief system. A clash of cultures stemming from what they believed is their truth, their authenticity at that time.
After this realization, my client’s perspective about themselves looking at the optics of: who am I being and what am I doing? With an enquiry on How am I being misunderstood? Is it with the words that I am using or in my silence. In the actions that I am taking or in my decision to do nothing. With my presence there or in my absence. My client’s perspective had expanded, evolved.
They were able to craft, redesign and align with their values, beliefs, and actions. Then explore the how, in their demonstration and physical embodiment of them bring them into life or form.
Their perspective changed, as did their truth and authentic expression. Meaning they grew and expanded allowing a wider and more diverse presence in their expression. The had a different truth which is expanding with more of life’s learnings and experience.
Powerful stuff.
David Bingley, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
David Bingley is an expert in Leadership and Empowerment Coaching, working on mental/emotional fitness and self-awareness. By exploring perspectives to define purpose and direction (our vision, mission and ambition for ourself and the world) to how we frame ourself and embrace our values so our intentions and actions are aligned. David founded In-Vision Coaching as a platform to assist people to empower themselves, take control of their life using the strategies, frameworks and structures he developed to fine tune for peak performance. You may work with David in 1:1 coaching, team coaching or specialist workshops, taking small steps to… LIVE LARGE!
