Written by: Grace Alfafara, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I remember when I became a new mother and it was very foreign to me to get to being called a “mother” or a “mom”. I had to learn how to adjust and adapt to such delicate changes in my life as a woman and a new mom at the same time. Then I became a mother of 3 more children. I had 4 children within 2 years. Two boys who were 11 months apart and my second oldest son were 11 months apart from my youngest identical twin girls. I had to choose to adapt and adjust once again but this time 10x more than my first two older children.
“Motherhood is a portal where we rediscover our inner gifts when challenging us with many layers of a deeply personal encounter of our deep truths.” – Grace Alfafara
What does motherhood mean to you? Define motherhood. I am sure it means different for every mother out there.
To me, motherhood has a variety of ways to soak myself into an embodiment of what made me into the person I am today. There are many lessons that I learned from. Some are good, bad, and ugly moments. The reality set in about motherhood journey and I chose not to lose myself as a woman within the span of the reality of motherhood by the definition of how society expects motherhood to look like.
The moment I learned the acceptance of my task as a mother, the more I realized how beautiful it is and how powerful the journey of motherhood. Let me explain here below a few important elements I find very valuable in the motherhood journey that helped me to be my own most resilient mother to myself and my kids, and the woman I am today.
What motherhood taught me
Self-trust: This is when I was learning how to trust myself in the face of uncertainties. Because everything about motherhood has no manual book. Being a mother, we learn on the fly with the hopes that we are good enough in nurturing our kids that we end up putting ourselves last, which is not healthy, but all in a survival mode. But I learned that I needed to activate the resiliency of a fearless mother in me so that I could empower myself to put myself first and that way I can nurture and take care of myself and my kids better. That is when I learned to rediscover the courageous fearless mother in me.
Self-empowerment: My children taught me about self-empowerment believe it or not. My children empowered me to be the woman and mother I am becoming and vice versa. They have taught me to break free from my limitations into self-trust fearlessly. They taught me about being creative outside of the box. They taught me to explore uncertainties by trusting the process and not judge analytically every process, as it kills the joy of trusting and co-creating the meaning of cherishing the moment with gratitude instead.
The Law of Time: Motherhood taught me the value of time in segment intentions. This means since I have 4 children, I learned how to segment my time and prioritize that creating a very productive value in my kids' lives and myself. Since I homeschooled my kids for 6 years, it taught me to value everyone’s time, energy, and attention and that includes my time, energy, and focus of attention too. As my kids grew into adulthood, the time segment intention changed according to their preferences. We all learned to adapt and adjust to what serves value to each individual.
Allow yourself to dream: I learned that when I started desiring what I truly wanted apart from being a mother, the woman in me started exploring the “Grace” in me with trust and confidence. This means the deep core of me is saying never to ignore nor put aside the woman in me just because the mother in me has taken so many roles of nurturing. This also means the woman in me wants to nurture the mother in me and both energies enhance and complement one another, as they are never separate entities. They are interconnected as one wholeness of me. That is when dreaming a vision of me sparked a light healing journey deep within me to unleash both the fearless mother and woman in me from that day forward, which I intentionally did. So, from dreaming into vision into mission realities I created the “Grace-Through Journey” services where I planted a seed and let it grow into a healing platform for other parents or people of any age out there to rediscover their inner courage to build integrity of abundance with substance in all aspects of their lives. Here’s my website to learn more about my multi-services in wellness and health: Grace-Through Journey you can find me on Facebook or follow me on Instagram or LinkedIn.
Face the hard-core truth in the face of loss: There are times in life when we learn how to understand the hard-core truth in the face of loss and death. I lost my oldest son almost 6 years ago when he was only 14 to suicide. I learned how to turn my loss into love, grief into grace, and hurt into a healing journey. But it wasn’t easy to turn my loss into love and grief into grace. But what I applied is the heart of understanding and my level of trust was challenged. I learned to trust in the uncertainties when I unleashed the level of peace deep within me that comes with the essence of grace embodiment. It takes skin of grace essence to understand what we don’t understand to trust and be at peace with it all. A lot of shedding of limiting beliefs and letting go. Surrendering to the Divine Source God felt for me that I am not alone in trying to understand in co-creating the inner peace deep within the loss and grief. And I found that the link between life and grief was LOVE. Grief is the price of love.
I have written a memoir of my healing journey and if you are interested in purchasing a hardcopy, connect your journey with me below.
The motherhood journey has helped me build my inner core muscles by embodying my inner strength as a mother and woman collectively. I am grateful for being a mom even though there are hard days and other days are amazing, and some days stay in the moment of gratitude.
To know more about motherhood and how to cope with celebrating our loved ones in heaven, especially to those who have lost a child, here’s my article where I composed a segment on how to deal with our healing journey in peace and love without losing ourselves in the grieving process:
Thank you for reading this, and I hope it has brought some value to you. If you have any questions, feel free to connect with me.
May this year be filled with solutions, great health, joy, and peace with love.
Grace Alfafara, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Grace Alfafara, is a mother to 4 teenagers, a Published Author, Grief Advocate, Certified Sophrologist, and a Certified Transformational Life Coach, in which she specializes in emotional and adaptability intelligence. She also develops an online empowerment Masterclass. She has lived in 5 countries and has worked as a Philanthropist for several years with her family. Her background education in Western culture on Psychology, Quantum Consciousness, and life growing up in a blend of Eastern and African cultures full of diverse life experiences have brought immense wisdom within the span of her life. A mother on a mission: empowering others to embody their true resilient essence wholeheartedly.
