Written by Morgan O. Smith, Spiritual Teacher
Morgan O. Smith is an author, meditation facilitator, and spiritual teacher with over two decades of experience. His teachings emphasize nonduality, spiritual awakening, and sound technology integration through his Yinnergy Meditation system, which promotes emotional, mental and spiritual growth.
At the core of every spiritual quest lies one fundamental mystery: Who am I? We navigate life believing in an individual self, a separate “I” that experiences, desires, and suffers. But what happens when that “I” dissolves? What remains when all personal identity, conditioning, and mental constructs disappear?
This is not mere philosophy. It is the direct experience of awakening. When the ego collapses, even for a moment, reality reveals itself as it truly is: infinite, boundless, and ineffable. The illusion of separateness shatters, leaving behind only pure being, the ultimate self, the absolute, the ground of all existence. Some call it God, others call it Brahman, Source, or simply Nothingness. But in that moment of realization, all labels fall away.
It is not an experience the personal self can “have.” Rather, it is the recognition that the individual self never truly existed in the first place. The drop merges back into the ocean, only to realize it was always the ocean. This is liberation. This is awakening. And once seen, it can never be unseen.
1. What is the ego
From birth, we are conditioned to believe we are a distinct, separate self, an "I" with personal experiences, desires, and fears. This sense of self, or ego, is reinforced by memory, societal expectations, and habitual thought patterns. However, when examined closely, the ego is nothing more than a mental construct, a collection of stories we tell ourselves.
It is not a fixed entity but a constantly shifting identity that changes over time. The ego gives rise to duality, the illusion that we are separate from the world, from others, and from our true nature. Yet, like a mirage, this sense of separateness disappears upon deep inquiry. The moment we begin to question the reality of the ego, the foundation of our identity begins to crack.
2. What happens when the ego dissolves
Ego dissolution is not an intellectual understanding but a direct, experiential shift in consciousness. It often arises spontaneously in deep meditation, moments of surrender, or near-death experiences.
As the ego dissolves, the usual sense of self vanishes, and awareness remains without a center. There is no longer a "me" experiencing reality. There is only pure, unfiltered being. Time, space, and personal identity lose their meaning, revealing a state of boundless presence.
In this state, there is no separation between the observer and the observed. All is one seamless reality. The mind, which once clung to concepts and labels, falls silent, leaving only the undeniable recognition of absolute truth.
Related article: Ego Death – Death And Rebirth Of The Self
3. There was never an “I”
The great paradox of awakening is not that the ego disappears. It is the realization that it never truly existed in the first place. Like a shadow mistaken for something solid, the ego is seen as an illusion once the light of awareness shines upon it.
This realization can be shocking, as everything once taken for granted—thoughts, emotions, identity—loses its grip. The personal self is revealed to be a temporary appearance within the vast field of consciousness. What remains is pure existence, untouched by birth or death, free from all limitations.
The seeker dissolves, and with it, the very idea of seeking. There is nothing to attain because there was never anything missing.
4. Experiencing pure awareness
Most of human experience is filtered through the mind—thoughts, emotions, interpretations—but beyond the mind lies a state of pure awareness. In this state, there is no judgment, resistance, or conceptualization, only a vast, open presence.
This awareness is not something new. It has always been here, unnoticed beneath the noise of mental activity. When the ego dissolves, awareness is recognized as the only reality, formless, limitless, and ever present.
There is no "I" observing awareness because awareness itself is what you are. It is the silent witness behind all experience, untouched by time or change. In this realization, the need to control, grasp, or define life falls away, replaced by effortless being.
5. The paradox of awakening
To the mind, awakening may seem like a contradiction. It is both absolute emptiness and total fullness. Some describe it as pure nothingness, a vast, formless void where even identity dissolves. Others describe it as an all-encompassing wholeness, where everything is included without separation.
The paradox arises because the mind functions in duality, unable to comprehend that emptiness and fullness are the same. Awakening transcends these opposites, revealing a reality beyond all mental concepts.
It is not a state to be achieved but the recognition of what has always been. Whether seen as nothing or everything, what matters is that it is undeniable, inescapable, and ever-present.
6. Can the ego return after awakening?
After an initial awakening experience, it is common for the ego to resurface. This is because the conditioned mind has spent a lifetime reinforcing personal identity, and those patterns do not vanish instantly.
While the direct realization of truth is irreversible, the mind may still attempt to reclaim its old habits. However, the difference is that after awakening, the ego is seen for what it is—a temporary illusion, not a fundamental reality.
Even if the sense of "I" arises again, it no longer carries the same weight or sense of absolute truth. The key is not to resist the ego’s return but to recognize its illusory nature without identification. Over time, the false self naturally loses its grip, leaving only effortless presence.
Embracing ego dissolution
The realization that the ego is an illusion marks a profound shift in consciousness, but the journey doesn’t end there. Integration is key—awakening is not about escaping life but living it fully, free from the constraints of identification.
For those who resonate with these insights, meditation can serve as a bridge between intellectual understanding and direct experience. Yinnergy Meditation is designed to facilitate deep states of awareness, helping the mind settle into stillness where the illusion of ego naturally dissolves. Through brainwave entrainment, it aligns the mind with the effortless presence that underlies all experience, allowing awakening to unfold organically.
Looking for something accessible? Our Sonic Entrainment Mindfulness Workshops offer an immersive experience where meditation, sound, and mindfulness practices merge to boost creativity, enhance problem-solving, and improve mental well-being.
If you’re interested in exploring the relationship between neuroscience, meditation, and nondual realization, my book Bodhi in the Brain (available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble) delves deeper into these topics.
For ongoing insights and discussions, connect with me on Instagram, YouTube, and my blog, where I share reflections on consciousness, self-inquiry, and the lived experience of awakening.
Read more from Morgan O. Smith
Morgan O. Smith, Spiritual Teacher
Morgan O. Smith is a spiritual teacher, author, and meditation facilitator with over two decades of experience in mindfulness and nonduality teachings. Known for his pioneering Yinnergy Meditation system, he blends sound technology with traditional spiritual practices to promote deep personal and spiritual growth. His work emphasizes direct spiritual experiences, self-realization, and the clearing of emotional and mental blocks. Morgan's teachings are rooted in nonduality, and he encourages seekers to explore deeper states of consciousness through meditation and self-inquiry.
