Written by: Antonio Esposito, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
A man is standing on the edge of a chasm. He needs to reach the other side of the canyon, as the map he is following says, but between where he stands and his destination, there is a huge void and there is no way he can jump across.
The man seems to be trapped, he is afraid, and he is sweating. He looks back and he knows that there is no way out. “That’s impossible, nobody can jump this...”, he mutters. The only way out is in front of him. He must jump!
This is a famous scene from a 1989 cult movie, “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”. This scene was mentioned as a metaphor in a book I am currently reading and brought back some old memories that I have decided to share in this article.
We all find ourselves in situations in which we feel caged.
We know we must make certain difficult choices to move forward, but we do not make them. Often, our way of dealing with choices is procrastination. We wait for more favourable times; we wait until we feel good or creative or perfect enough.
We think that waiting will give us the courage to do what we know we have to do but are not courageous enough to make happen.
We often justify ourselves with a long list of excuses, often fuelled by the doubts, fears and false beliefs we have about ourselves.
18 years before moving to the UK from Italy, I lived for a while in the middle of nowhere in Gaborone, the capital city of Botswana. Now, I am not going into the details of how I ended up over there from Naples (Italy), because it would take too long, but a situation I found myself in while I was there will hopefully clarify the point I want to share in this article.
I had spent the previous five months and a half in Gaborone and my tourist visa had already expired twice. Basically, I was bound to become what is called an “alien” or, for better understanding, an illegal immigrant within a few days.
As in many other countries, it was a legal offence there as well, and apparently, in Botswana it was punished with jail. One day during one of my usual trips back and forth from South Africa (a way to extend my visa), a gentle officer reminded me about the situation I was in.
After she saw how many times I had crossed the border between Botswana and South Africa in the previous months, she started to look at me in the same way you would look at a criminal in an interrogation room. Thank God I was not alone there. The dear friend I was with started to talk in Tswana (the local language) with the officer, saying who knows what while my heart was shaking.
Once they had both finished talking, the officer turned to me and said: “Promise me that you are leaving the country within two weeks”. She then took a copy of my passport and with a gentle but firm tone of voice in a strong local accent she repeated: “I am telling you, you have just two weeks, otherwise you might end up visiting an elegant 5-star jail in Zimbabwe, and believe me, not as a tourist”.
Although I wasn’t sure if that threat was real or not, I was terrified.
Eventually, they let us pass the border, but suddenly my reality had changed: I had to leave the country and I had to leave very soon.
The problem, though, was that with only 150 euros cash left in my pocket, it was impossible to find a plane ticket. Unless I was willing to walk those 7000 miles apart between me and my country, I was stuck there.
I had to leave, and I didn’t want to. Plus, I didn’t want to go back to Italy and live the same life, have the same problems, and go through the same crap I had initially been escaping from all over again.
I felt caged, I felt like Indiana Jones stuck on that chasm, but I had to do something, like Indy I had to take a leap of faith. Despite what was going to happen, despite my fear, doubts, and lack of resources, I had to jump in some way.
So, with a lot of shame in my heart, soul, and mind, I called my dear friend Sergio, in Italy, and I asked him if it was possible for him to buy me a plane ticket from Gaborone to Naples, as the situation over there was becoming critical.
The ticket, trust me, wasn’t cheap, and at the time Sergio was not in the most profitable situation workwise, plus he had to take care of his wife and kids. But he was one of the two friends I knew I could always trust.
I had no doubt he was going to help, and he did. 10 days later, I was leaving Botswana to go back to Italy.
However, something didn’t feel right. Going back to Italy was almost as painful as spending some time in the Zimbabwe state prison. In front of me, there wasn’t a path to follow, not a bridge I could cross. Something needed to be done, but what? Jump!
I called another friend of mine who was in the UK, Tony, and that’s what I said to him: “Listen, I might end up in jail, so I am leaving Botswana with the ticket that Sergio is kindly going to buy for me. I am going back to Naples, but I don't want to stay there. I have 150 euros left and nothing more. You’ve invited me to the UK so many times and, out of fear, I never accepted, making excuses over excuses, but now I would like to accept your invitation if it’s still valid. I will come for a few weeks, just the time to find a job, any job that will allow me to make ends meet”.
Without any sort of hesitation, Tony replied: “Finally! Of course, you can come, I have a spare room and you can stay as long as you want”.
I was so happy and grateful for having such amazing true friends. Now I had a plan to follow, something that did not exist just a day before.
As soon as I put the phone down with Tony, I bought a one-way ticket from Naples to Liverpool for 27 euros (life was cheap at the time) and the date of departure was exactly a month away.
Now I had one ticket to go back to Italy and one ticket to move to the UK and, of course, a debt of 600 plus euros with my dear friend Sergio, which, by the way, I repaid in full several months later.
During the following days, while I was preparing for the trip back to Italy, lots of doubts and fears crossed my mind. I was going to the UK to do what? No money, an English vocabulary of not more than 50 words and not a precise direction to follow. What was I thinking? Many times, I considered calling my friend Tony and declining his offer again, but I never did, and 18 years later that is still one of the best decisions I have ever made.
Like Indiana Jones, who took a step forward to a non-existing bridge that magically appeared under his feet, on the 30th of May 2006, I took that step by boarding an early morning flight to Liverpool, with nothing more than some clothes in my luggage and the hope that, day by day, my new life would start to make some sense.
Many years have passed since then and many things have changed. I have experienced lots of ups and downs, successes, failures, and there were plenty of moments when I wanted to give up.
However, I have learnt that sometimes you must jump, even when you have no idea of where that jump is going to lead you.
Life is too short to wait for the right moment, the right person, the right amount of courage, and the day we feel good about ourselves and our abilities. Do you know why? Because if you wait, NOTHING will ever happen.
What is in front of you might be something terrifying, completely unknown, that could potentially lead you to deal with another big mess, who knows. And that’s exactly the point, who knows?
Indiana Jones needed to take a first step to find out that the bridge was already there, ready to be crossed, he needed to take a leap of faith and believe that something better might come, and if not, at the least you won’t live your life with the regret that you’ve never tried.
“Have more fear of regret than failure”. ‒Thibaut
If you enjoyed this article, I would like to know more about your insights and breakthroughs from reading it; then, if you are up to the challenge of mastering your Emotional Intelligence, bringing your life to the next level; book a one-to-one 30-minute FREE Consultation with me!
Antonio Esposito, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Antonio is a Life Performance Coach, a Mentor, and an NLP Practitioner certified expert in the field of Emotional Intelligence and Eating Psychology.
Moved to the United Kingdom from Italy in 2006, after enjoying 20+ years of experience in the corporate world as a senior web and graphic designer, Antonio is now the CEO and Founder of TheThinkingMind Coaching Ltd, a United Kingdom-based firm specializing in offering Coaching, Training and Personal Development services.
Antonio's mission is to change the world one person at a time.
Antonio's target is to facilitate the transformation of all those harmful and destructive mental processes by discovering one's inner self.
Through Life Coaching, Personal Development, and Behavioural Psychology techniques, Antonio enables individuals to master their Emotional Intelligence and, through a set of empowering, transformative, and life-changing strategies and actions, help, support, and motivate people in achieving their most important goals.
Antonio has a unique perspective on personal growth and happiness.
He is recognized for his ability to lead others to maximize their full potential through living a life of purpose, balance, and significance.
Since 2017, Antonio is also a member of the prestigious team of Mentors at The Coaching Academy, where he has coached and mentored hundreds of students worldwide to successfully complete their training journey as Professional Certified Life and Executive Business coaches.
