Written by: Nadia Chapman, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
You are unique, and only one of you exists in the whole wide world! Isn't that amazing! You were born with your own distinctive personality, talents, and gifts, and your story shaped who you are today. This also means that you came into this world with some weaknesses, limitations, and things that you cannot change. If I would ask you right now if you fully accept who you are, what would be your answer? The biggest most transformational thing you can do in your mental wellness journey is to bring more self-love and self-acceptance into your life! So many of our daily habits, behaviors, and fears are attached to the way we see ourselves. We are born to thrive, but as we get older we face criticism from others, go through failures, and slowly self-doubt and other insecurities settle inside of us.
Our childhood experiences are directly associated with our level of self-acceptance as adults. Parents or caregivers play an important role when it comes to self-esteem and building confidence. Depending on their parenting style, parents or caregivers either provided a loving and positive environment, or one filled with criticism, and lack of love. Kids who grow up with critical parents will most likely struggle with self-acceptance. People whose parents were more positive and encouraging will tend to have more self-love and self-acceptance.
Our lack of self-love and self-acceptance can get in the way of reaching our dreams or creating long-lasting transformations in our lives. As a coach, I often hear that it's hard for people to unconditionally fall in love with who they are. They can hear loved ones telling them how great they are, but do they believe it? Not always. Often people seem to think that it's arrogant to be putting ourselves first, and that self-love is an egocentric and selfish thing to do. It's far from the truth! So many aches and pains would simply go away if people would embrace who they are, and just learn to fall in love with the gifts and flaws they were born with. When I ask clients to look into the mirror and say "I love you" they often giggle, and will follow with an uncomfortable comment such as: "Oh gosh, I'm not sure I can do this?"
Self-acceptance means coming to terms with yourself NOW, just as you are, including your positive and negative attributes, your strengths and weaknesses. Self-love means treating yourself with compassion, respect, acceptance, and cultivating a positive image of yourself.
The first step towards growing into the person you want to become, and freeing yourself from all that harmful negative self-talk is to create a better self-image of yourself and learn to love who you are.
Now, let's not confuse self-love with narcissism! Self-love is accepting who you are, putting yourself first, and being proud and confident. There's nothing wrong with being your very own best friend! Narcissism, on the other hand, is a personality disorder where people create an exaggerated sense of pride and lack compassion and consideration towards others. Narcissistic people consider themselves superior.
When your cup is full, you can fill other people's cups, and you will become more self-confident, less critical, and will be able to blossom into the unique person you were meant to be.
Once you step into your personal power and come to terms with embracing who you are, you will no longer search for outside validation and acceptance. You will learn to fall in love with every ounce of who you are. You will be able to laugh at yourself, overlook your imperfections and move on. Perfectionism is a myth. Nothing in nature is 'perfect", and you too were created with flaws and imperfections. You can learn to reframe your negative self-talk, and the limiting beliefs you have about yourself, and make the conscious decision to choose more positive and empowering self-talk.
If something happened in your life that prevents you from loving and honoring who you are, it's time to let go and forgive yourself or whoever caused you arm. Take full responsibility for your past actions, and use them as life lessons, and something to learn from. If your failures and negative experiences weigh you down, learn to flourish from them. Don't feel defeated, and sorry for yourself. Learn to re-orient your life when things are not working. Learn to use the negative feedback to correct the course. The first step toward getting better at something is recognizing that you need improvements in that specific area. So failing at something can be used to your advantage, and to pinpoint areas that need your attention.
Finally, learn to separate yourself from your weaknesses, mistakes, or your flaws. Self-acceptance is the key to so much enlightenment and serenity. You were created to shine in your own ways and to be your unique self. Yes, we are all imperfect and that's ok! Once you accept yourself, the whole world will accept you!
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Nadia Chapman, Executive Contributor Brainz Magainze Nadia Chapman is a leader in transformational coaching. She is a certified health and life coach, Law of attraction and success coach and NLP practitioner. She loves to bring her wisdom, contagious optimism, and life experience to her many projects and with her clients. Nadia is also a professional figure skating coach and lives on an organic farm, she understands first hand that a healthy body and mind is the foundation to a happy life. She is the host of "The Nadia Chapman Show", a podcast designed to inspire and motivate people with life-changing hacks on habit change, positive mindset and wellness. Nadia was born in Montreal, Canada, lived in France for many years before settling in Southern California with her family.
