Written by: Daniel Van der Pluym, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Being assertive is a critical skill for entrepreneurs and business owners; particularly those with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. As a business owner, it’s essential to be assertive to create boundaries and prioritize your goals. For entrepreneurs with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), being assertive can be especially challenging due to the difficulty of saying “no” or setting limits on commitments. Fortunately, some strategies can help you become more assertive and free up time and energy for important tasks. In this article, we will explore the importance of assertiveness for ADHD entrepreneurs, as well as skills and tools to help create space to flourish, professionally and personally.
How does ADHD impact assertiveness?
ADHD can be a challenging neurological condition that significantly affects communication and assertiveness. People with ADHD often struggle to stay focused and have difficulty expressing themselves or communicating clearly in conversations. They may find it hard to organize their thoughts into coherent statements, so they could end up being easily distracted when trying to explain something or make a point.
Research on personal characteristics and assertiveness
Specifically, research on children aged 7-12 years with ADHD, found that difficulties with assertiveness may be attributed to inattentive characteristics. These include mental sluggishness, being more socially passive, and therefore lacking the ability to be decisive in social situations.
Further research found that a lack of self-confidence, and difficulty taking charge of situations were related to assertiveness difficulties, in an adult sample with ADHD. Additionally, they identified that impulsivity and hyperactivity were associated with greater difficulties in assertive communication.
Neurochemical underpinnings of assertiveness in ADHD
Assertive communication is heavily reliant on the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which is responsible for executive function, decision-making, and self-regulation. This area helps to regulate our emotions and interact with other people in a socially appropriate way. When someone has difficulty being assertive, it can often be attributed to low baseline levels of neurochemicals such as dopamine and norepinephrine in the prefrontal cortex. This is commonly characterised by ADHD.
Several studies have identified the role of dopamine in personality traits such as extraversion, which relates to assertiveness. The low baseline levels of these neurochemicals result in a lack of clarity and attention toward taking ownership of decisions and implementing a clear plan, or solutions to manage teams of people, and tasks, in professional settings.
Assertiveness and rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD)
Sometimes, people with ADHD are fearful of saying no to tasks or other people. By saying no, there might be some repercussions including criticism, rejection, or guilt-tripping. Rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is a common characteristic of ADHD and it can make it difficult to say no to others due to fears of disapproval, or rejection from others. For professionals with ADHD, there might be a tendency to people-please, as a way of avoiding potential rejection. This often results in others not respecting leadership and the boundaries required to effectively run a business.
The impacts of lack of assertiveness
Assertiveness difficulties can have several negative impacts on business owners. Studies have shown that people who lack assertiveness tend to be more likely to experience stress, anxiety, and depression. This can manifest in an inability to handle criticism, an extreme fear of failure, and difficulty delegating tasks effectively. These issues can negatively impact the ability to successfully run a business, as a lack of confidence often translates into a lack of decisiveness, and an inability to make clear decisions.
The inability to make clear decisions often results in business owners with ADHD failing, or falling behind. Lack of assertiveness, can impact business professionals' abilities to manage and prioritise important projects and tasks, difficulty acting on important opportunities, and unable to meet deadlines. These difficulties can all result in business failure.
Can assertiveness be too high?
It is important to note that although it is beneficial to be assertive, there can be a point where people become too aggressive. People might feel like they have reached their breaking point when trying to get something done and could come across as quite hostile in conversations or interactions. Business owners with ADHD need to practice self-awareness and recognise when they are becoming too aggressive, as this could damage their professional relationships.
What is a healthy level of assertiveness?
When it comes to assertive communication, the aim should always be to maintain a respectful and professional tone, while still communicating clearly and straightforwardly. This often requires practice but can lead to greater success in both business and personal relationships. A healthy level of assertiveness requires direct, open communication, that is also respectful. The required level of assertiveness often depends on the context. For example, in a business or professional setting it is necessary for assertive communication to follow a clearer, formalised approach, while in personal relationships a balance between assertiveness and understanding is needed.
Why assertiveness is important for business owners with ADHD?
Assertiveness allows us to create the space we need to achieve goals and flourish in both our professional and personal lives. Unfortunately, many business owners with ADHD, struggle with procrastination and impulsivity, making them too easily swayed by external pressures, leading to becoming distracted from core objectives. This often results in the inability to prioritize important personal business goals, because others' priorities often come first.
As we run through the challenges of managing a business, often we become stuck in all of the day-to-day menial tasks that do not allow our businesses to grow or thrive. We might find ourselves saying yes to commitments that are not important, leading us to waste time and energy on activities that don’t help our business. Often, it is difficult to say no, or avoid these tasks because we want to please everyone.
How can business owners become more assertive?
To build assertiveness in your business, it is important to be equipped with the tools and strategies to create space and focus on what matters to reach success. Assertiveness allows us to express our needs in a way that is both respectful and clear. To better manage your time and the important tasks involved in your business, it is important to set clear boundaries with others.
Here are some helpful strategies to set boundaries with others, to prioritize tasks that are most important to your business:
Set clear expectations – When communicating with others, be assertive and set clear boundaries on what you can and cannot do.
Learn to say no – Don’t feel guilty about saying any when it is necessary for your business objectives or goals.
Focus on yourself – Be assertive in expressing your needs without compromising the needs of others.
Identify priorities – Make a list of tasks that are most important for your business and prioritize them accordingly so that you don’t get distracted by unhelpful activities or commitments not related to achieving success in your business or work life.
Acknowledge emotions – Recognize when feelings such as fear, guilt, anger, stress, etc are preventing assertiveness from occurring and work through these emotions to remain level-headed during conversations involving assertiveness.
Listen actively – Becoming an active listener allows us to hear what people have said before responding assertively ensuring our message is heard accurately.
Communicate respectfully – Assertiveness should always be done with respect even if we disagree with someone else's opinion.
Extra support to help ADHD business owners build assertiveness skills
For business owners with ADHD, it can be difficult to maintain the implementation of the assertiveness skills listed. Often, it is necessary to receive extra help and assistance to develop and maintain effective interpersonal skills. There are a range of different types of supports available to assist ADHD professionals with assertiveness, these include:
Professional ADHD coaching to help you maximize your strengths and address any difficulties in a supportive, goal-oriented manner.
ADHD support groups to provide mutual understanding from individuals who may be experiencing similar issues or fears with assertiveness.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to enable identifying and changing unhelpful thinking patterns and behaviors that impact assertiveness.
Mindfulness techniques to help increase concentration and focus, as well as improve the ability to manage emotions.
ADHD Ambition equips small business owners with ADHD with the tools and strategies to become more assertive, allowing them to focus their time and energy on the business goals that matter most.
By utilising support systems and investing in assertiveness skills, business owners can prioritise tasks that are most important for their business goals and free up time and energy by engaging in meaningful activities. With this newfound assertiveness, they can excel in their professional and personal.
Assertiveness is a critical skill for entrepreneurs and business owners to learn to create space and focus on their priorities. It involves setting clear expectations, learning to say no when necessary, focusing on yourself, identifying your priorities, acknowledging emotions that might be hindering assertiveness, listening actively, and communicating respectfully. With these strategies as tools in hand, you can become more assertive so that you can achieve success in both your professional life and personal life. What strategies have you used to build assertiveness?
Daniel Van der Pluym, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Daniel Van der Pluym is the founder of Deeper Potential Coaching and part founder of ADHD Ambition. He is a psychotherapist, certified Life Coach and mindfulness teacher. Through his work, he focuses on helping people overcome their life challenges to create a new story of meaning and fulfilment. His work as a psychotherapist coach and part developer of ADHD Ambition is geared towards helping people overcome uncertainty and rumination, so they can live with more clarity and fulfillment.
