Written by: Trish Bishop, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Conflict avoidance is like a boa constrictor silently and steadily squeezing the life, morale, creativity and empowerment out of your team or organization. Not everyone is comfortable with conflict, however, every good book you read about healthy teams and organizations not only encourages but requires it. It is simply not possible to bring together a group of diverse personalities, ideas, work styles, communication styles, etc. and not have conflict, so avoidance is not only futile, its dangerous. It creates an energetic undercurrent that undermines the psychological safety and flow of your team.
When leaders refuse to engage in any form of conflict (healthy or otherwise) it becomes open season for those who are inclined to take advantage of an environment with no accountability. Knowing they won’t be held accountable opens the door for poor performance, non-delivery and not following through on commitments. Unfortunately, in most organizations, this will end up being enough people that those who are self-motivated to do their best, who do have personal accountability and who will kill themselves to fulfill a commitment, end up not only carrying the extra weight of the non-performers, they also have to figure out how to navigate the environment by learning through trial and error who they can count on and who they can’t. This is not only time-consuming, it's a morale killer. Once it is determined that someone is not delivering or fulfilling their commitments, they will invariably work around them from that point forward, creating significant inefficiencies and undermining any healthy working relationship on the go forward - simply put, trust is lost and you cannot have a high-performance team without trust.
Here are just five issues organizations will experience as a result of conflict-averse leadership. Please also note that this is in no way an exhaustive list. The most important thing to note, however, is that if your employees know you are a conflict-averse leader, they will not bring these issues to your attention because they don’t trust that they will be addressed. If you know you avoid conflict you should be aware that you could be flying blind.
Let me paint the picture from the perspective of those who are required to work under a leadership style that avoids conflict.
Handcuffs. The first thing that happens when employees start to realize they have a conflict-averse leader is that they feel like they’re handcuffed. They are literally stuck in the back of the police car with their hands behind their back trying to get their job done. The police car represents the fact that it is their leader (or someone further up the hierarchy) that holds a position of authority that they can’t, or won’t, undermine. They end up dealing with a whole host of issues from lack of delivery, lack of clear decision making and lack of clear ownership all the way to non-performance or even incompetence. They need to get super creative to find ways to still get work done while their day-to-day reality is steeped in navigating a quagmire of learning who will deliver on their commitments and who they can trust.
Workarounds. One of the most dangerous costs of conflict-avoidance is the plethora of workarounds that people will adopt. Unfortunately, very few people work fully autonomously. Most employees need to rely on others to bring specific job roles or skills to the table to complete a deliverable. These workarounds can be any combination of working around people, processes, protocols, etc. For example, if Joe knows that Susan is always three weeks late with her deliverables and he’s not willing to risk his own commitment, he’s going to find a way to work around Susan. If Susan is “the person” who does that particular job, then approaching Sam to do that job results in Sam taking time away from his own commitments. Because Sam is not the expert, this may also result in re-work, the risk of it not working at all, or even bypassing important protocols (which may even include security protocols). As a leader do you prefer someone who will do whatever it takes to get the job done through inefficiencies, not staying in their lane and potentially putting the organization at risk, or do you prefer having deliverables be constantly late resulting in an overall culture of non-delivery and missed commitments? Does that feel like a no-win scenario? That’s how these employees feel, like there is no way to win.
Acceptance of Poor Performance. When there’s no conflict people learn pretty quickly that there is also no accountability. Again, those who have an internal drive to be a strong performer will continue to do so, however, after a while it becomes exhausting carrying the load for those who are working the non-accountability system. Are you willing to have your top performers exit the organization leaving you with a culture of non-performers? In the words of Perry Belcher, Co-Founder of Digitalmarketer.com, “Nothing will kill a great employee faster than watching you tolerate a bad one.”
Us vs. Them. When people start cherry-picking who they work with based on who they trust, you start to see camps of allies emerge within the organization. Whether this is blatant or not, people feel the energy of this divide. If you start to hear comments like, “our team”, or “their team”, or worse, “us” and “them”, or if you keep hearing the same names coming up as being the ‘go to’ people, you may want to take a deeper dive into the dynamics of what’s happening in your team or organization. Oftentimes people aren’t referring to formal teams when they make these comments but sub-cultures that have been created by people who trust each other to deliver on their commitments.
Reinforcing Emotional Wounds. No matter what else goes on in business, we are all human beings working together for more hours in a day than we generally spend with our own families. We all come with our own stories, traumas and experiences that have shaped us. When you have a leader who is not dealing with the ‘hard stuff’ it can reinforce stories such as, “I’m not worthy of someone having my back”, or “Nobody wants to hear what I have to say.” While I’m the first to agree that as a leader it is not your responsibility to provide counseling for your employees’ deeply held personal issues, let’s flip this on its head. IF you are a leader who embraces healthy conflict, your employees will absolutely feel like you have their back and that you absolutely want to hear what they have to say. It is literally that simple.
If you want to learn more about the hard costs of conflict-averse leadership, look within your team or organization and start to identify the metrics that can help you apply a monetary value to the impacts:
The cost of inefficiencies as a result of lost time trying to find people who can be trusted to deliver.
The cost of lost time expecting someone to deliver who consistently does not meet their commitments. This can have huge financial implications, particularly in projects, as one non-deliverable can impact or delay an entire project and have hard cost impacts.
The cost of inefficiencies due to workarounds.
The potential risk of exposure or loss of reputation due to a security breach as a result of not following established protocols.
The cost of re-work or even break-fix when someone does a task that is not their ‘job’ or area of expertise (i.e., not staying in their lane).
The cost of turnover when high-performing staff decides they’ve had enough and move on from your organization.
Finally, there is an emotional cost for the conflict-averse leader themselves. They know they are avoiding conflict as it is a choice. It is also rare that they are not at some level (read: intuitively) aware that their approach is causing issues, though they may not be clear on the breadth and depth of the chaos it is creating. Being aware of these issues and consciously choosing not to address them doesn’t make them go away. They sit in the back of the mind creating stress and angst, which is not healthy. There is a reason they call it healthy conflict - not only because it can be done in a healthy way, but because dealing with these issues and moving on from them is healthy for all involved.
Where to start if you're a conflict-averse leader looking for tools to help you step into healthy conflict? I highly recommend reading "Dare to Lead" by Brene Brown and "Start with Why" by Simon Sinek to get you started.
“Daring leaders are never silent about hard things.” — Brene Brown
Please choose to be a daring leader, not only will your employees will thank you, but you will also see an overall shift in morale, engagement, and performance!
Trish Bishop, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
After launching and taking public, one of the first Internet Service Providers in Canada, Trish quickly found her niche as a ‘translator’ with an exceptional ability to translate business needs into solutions. She also discovered early in her career that she is highly intuitive and then honed that gift into her corporate superpower! She blatantly integrates both the corporate and woo-woo aspects of who she is and attributes this to the amazing success she has had in her career, including developing 6 high-performance teams.
As an Energy Integration Coach, Trish teaches leaders how to create massive transformations for themselves, their teams, and their organizations by learning how to read and interpret energetic information (aka intuition!) In addition to being a highly successful IT Project Manager, Trish is also the author of 'The Question Journey,' a Shaman, Empath, and Certified Angel Guide. Her mission: to heal corporate workplaces one leader at a time.
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