Written by: Fran Pedron, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“OH, GOOD GRIEF!” Have you ever said that?
It’s all about change. It’s this time of year—every year.
What’s Personal to You
November brings thoughts of family, friends and celebration. Transitioning from 2021 into 2022, may or may not be your priority right now. Yet, it is resting somewhere in your mind. Are you ready?
Whether you are ready or not during this time of year, change happens, and all kinds of interesting challenges prevent you from moving forward. Many finality changes occur and are gift wrapped in similar ways. They may look like this:
It’s a disappointment at work—you didn’t get that pay raise, promotion or received a pink slip.
You’ve had a death-blowing fight with your romantic interest.
Your kids are leaving home for the first time.
You had a friend leave without saying another word. The relation apparently has ended, yet you’re not sure.
Someone left this world—either a human who was instrumental in keeping you safe, was a warm fuzzy, a four-legged family member who kept you company always, etc.
The list is endless. What are you doing when this season ends? How are you handling your loss? Are you moving on in a healthy way?
Grief – A Natural Season
Grief is a natural response to loss of someone or something that is important to you. You feel a variety of emotions—sadness and loneliness, can be overcome with shock and confusion, and more. Grief can happen for any number of reasons, is a natural part of life, and is intense. In order to overcome these feelings, it is important to remember that grieving is an important process, where you continue to embrace the season you spent together.
When you sit there wondering: how does this look or am I ever going to be normal again. There are stages to this process and they are:
denial – coming to terms with your loss;
anger – reality sets in—you face your pain;
bargaining – what you could have done differently, preventing this loss from ever happening;
depression – sadness sets in as you begin to understand how your life has changed;
acceptance – the final stage this is real.
Everyone goes through these five stages, in some fashion. Those who do not must consider IF they want to move forward.
Moving forward looks different for everyone. There is no normal amount of time to grieve.
Where Do You Go From Here
Here depends. You’ll want to ask yourself these questions.
Am I tired of grieving?
Do I want life to be different?
Do I desire to be happy and experience a joyful life?
Am I willing to change my limiting beliefs and let go of the past?
Am I ready to let go of this grief and move forward?
Am I willing to collaborate with someone for support and change?
How are you answering these?
There are two choices – counseling or coaching. Which do you choose and what are the benefits of each?
Counseling addresses your grief by concentrating on the past and coping with “the” loss. Counselors help you through the mourning period. The client starts with the unresolved emotions, then explores the emotions, adds coping skills, and manages grief.
Coaching is a catalyst to the new. Coaches guide clients through the present and how to thrive during the healing process, while concentrating on the future. They offer methods to move forward and lead you on the way to recovery.
Whichever route you choose, you will want to explore and incorporate healthy lifestyle choices into your daily living. Consider these:
taking time to heal;
talking to others;
adding self-care;
returning to things like: hobbies, reading, walking, etc;
joining support groups.
As you envision living a happy, joyful day-to-day lifestyle, what resonates with you?
“If we’re meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” Rachal Wolchin
Fran Pedron, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Fran Pedron combines intuition, education, and life experience to help clients understand their foundational self-definition, make changes, and intention-purposed plans, which align with who they are as they create their desired outcomes.
Her experience in insurance, technology, accounting, communications, along with being abruptly downsized later in life, led her to understand how change affects people and their decision-making processes, along with the need to make decisions aligned with their authenticity.
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