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The Happy Little Secret(s) Of Good Leaders

Written by: John Starling, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

 
Executive Contributor John Starling

The happy little secret of good leaders is that many in leadership aren’t in it for the results. They’re in it for the leadership learning process itself, and the results they achieve stem from that learner’s mindset. Seen this way, leadership isn’t a means to an end but a means unto itself.

Group of people having a meeting at the office

Moreover, for many good leaders, the people we select, rally, organize, manage, lead, coach, mentor, and advise are, to a large degree, just proxies: our team, company, division, office, and growth strategies are just the who, where and how that we practice leadership and leadership development with, as we work our way through what I call the growth and leadership continuum. The why is growth itself: personal growth.

And, the happy little secret inside of that happy little secret is that no matter where you are on the growth and leadership continuum, the path to leading at the next level runs through you, the leader—and that’s great news because that’s really the only thing we can control in life: ourselves.


Although good leadership may look to outsiders like a ladder, I see it as a “continuum” because it never ends. It starts with self-leadership. Where it goes from there is up to you; it all returns to you.

Stick figure statue

But if leadership is on a growth continuum, what does that look like from the inside…for you, from where you’re standing? And where on that leadership continuum are you, and how can you become an even better, more effective leader and lead at the next level?


The growth & leadership continuum


Self-leadership


Self-leadership is being self-aware, authentic, and honest with yourself about where you are, who you are, and how you show up. It’s having the emotional intelligence to acknowledge and understand how you’re feeling and to have a say in the matter, as opposed to being at the mercy of outside forces.

Within that context, it’s about actively guiding yourself toward an intentional vision of your best self. It’s a never-ending process of identifying and closing gaps and working to live life aiming toward the best self you envision.


And it’s being responsible for the care of yourself, knowing that it affects how you will impact those around you.


One person at a time, the world is made a better place when we practice self-leadership more profoundly because we’re taking responsibility for the one thing we can change.


Interpersonal leadership


Many people are naturally gifted with deep empathy for others. They are engaged in the practice of self-leadership while possessing the skills, experience, and professional training to be a strong stand for another person—to listen without prejudice or judgment, and to advise from a compassionate, objective commitment to that person’s vision of his or her best self. Interpersonal leaders have the unique gift of putting themselves aside for the moment and creating space in which another can show up.


These are the counselors, the mentors, the advisors, the professional coaches, the therapists …the guides through life, business, and come what may.


Group leadership


Some people can lead others and affect change at the group level. These are the team leaders, the small business owners, the facilitators, the sports coaches, the classroom teachers, the leaders of small faith congregations, and so many more.


They lead nimble cohorts with a relatively simple communication structure: everyone is within easy reach of each other and their group leader. Everyone knows each other by their first name and understands each other’s strengths and weaknesses and where they fit into the group to reach the objectives.

Hands holding flower

These leaders are seen. They are visible to their group members. It’s impossible not to be, and that’s reassuring to the people following them.


They practice self-leadership with a deep capacity for interpersonal communication and the ability to connect across the whole group with minimal dilution of their powers as they help the group progress.


Community leadership


Others can lead and effect change at the community level—at their medium-sized company, as leaders in their town or their business community, and through the organizations, associations, and causes where they put their leadership talents to work.


Every community around the world has them, and without them, we might not even have a sense of community. They lead when a large number of people with similar interests need leadership and are willing to be led.

Stick figure community

Community leaders can extend trust beyond the group level. Due to the number of people in any community, leaders can’t always be seen, but their presence is always felt. Their leadership style, values, actions, and influence help create a lasting culture in the community…often even after they leave a legacy in their wake.


Enterprise leadership


Enterprise leaders aren’t seen and felt by the rank and file of an organization daily. Still, they are “heard” through memos, meetings, texts, presentations, side conversations, and other means of indirect influence.

The leader’s words and intentions are shared across the organization (and beyond) via trusted channels and messengers who understand and support the goals and outcomes.


At the enterprise level, the imperative for the leader becomes the ability to lead leaders (and groups of leaders) on an interpersonal basis.


This interpersonal approach comes from a deep, conscious relationship within each leader to the practice of self-leadership—knowing that the people within reach of our influence will show up in large part the way we show up. At this leadership level, people we may have never met, nor likely will meet, are following our lead.


Global leadership


Some rare people lead people and affect change at the global level. I believe that the times choose them, as opposed to the other way around, and the times seem to choose those who are practiced and prepared for the opportunity and responsibility.


Among the billions of people populating the planet, these global leaders are relatively few—yet they affect whole societies worldwide with their words and actions. They are the globally recognized politicians, CEOs, oligarchs, celebrities, religious leaders, and the like. Their mere presence impacts this world; hopefully, they use their power and influence to shine a bright light into its darkest corners.


When the times choose them, and the stars align, they step up. While leading at the global level, they lead themselves from the meta-level [self-knowledge, self-awareness, and self-regulation (emotional intelligence)]. In effect, the higher you go (or want to go) up the “ladder” of leadership, the deeper you must delve into self-leadership. Thus, the continuum.


Where are you?


When you look at the descriptions above, you might be able to identify the level at which you’re currently capable of leading, and you might have the intention to elevate your leadership abilities in order to lead effectively at the next level…and the next…

Stick figure communicate

That brings to mind the adage:


“What got you here won’t get you there.”


That’s a truism—and it’s also a koan* of sorts because it begs the response, “Well then, what will?”

Becoming competent at each new level of leadership as we ascend the growth and leadership continuum (whether as a means unto itself or a means to an end) enables us to cause an ever-larger and more diverse group of people to follow us. And kind of intentional growth requires that we practice self-leadership, and to gain emotional intelligence at an ever-deepening level.


If it’s “lonely at the top,” this is why: Even though you may be leading a group, community, enterprise, or millions of people, leadership is at its root quite solitary work that you do on yourself, but you don’t have to do it alone. In fact, you can’t. And that’s the happy little secret, inside of the happy little secret (inside of the happy little secret), of good leadership: you are not alone in this journey.


*A koan (noun) is “a paradoxical anecdote or riddle, used in Zen Buddhism to demonstrate the inadequacy of logical reasoning and to provoke enlightenment.”


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John Starling Brainz Magazine
 

John Starling, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

For over 20 years John Starling built and led management consulting firms focused on growth strategy and personal development. He advised, trained, and consulted hundreds of companies around the world (from start-ups to members of the Fortune 50) and has professionally coached countless individuals.

In 2019 he founded Pietential – "The Life Balance and Population Wellbeing Realization System".


Pietential is a real-time emotional Index of the people you lead and serve. For Enterprise companies, SMBs, NGOs, NPOs and Advisors, Pietential is a wellbeing benchmarking, monitoring and improvement platform that also allows you to prove the efficacy of your internal internal programs. It provides organizations with an Administrative Dashboard displaying aggregated (and anonymized unless shared by the User) comparative data visualizations of the emotional wellbeing of the different segments of the populations you lead and serve allowing you to better understand you – and how your people are doing.

Dedicated to the communities in which he's lived, John has also founded two youth programs: a mentoring & martial arts school for at-risk young people in Baltimore, Maryland (The School of the Way) and a girls soccer club in South Korea (Pride Girls Soccer). He is also the author of an illustrated rhyming children's book "Flight of the Platypus –– a story of self-discovery".


John's life philosophy is "If you can see it you can be it" and he's dedicated to helping others visualize and improve their wellbeing through Pietential.

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