Veronica is a Holistic Trauma Specialist. She is a qualified BodyTalk Practitioner, qualified TRE Provider and utilises quantum field talk therapy to help her clients address and understand trauma, and how it manifests in their body (physically, mentally and emotionally).
How many of us were told anger was a bad emotion, a negative thing to feel and were conditioned into never being angry?
While this is more often than not well meaning, it is misleading and superficial. The intent behind these statements is more along the lines that we should be mindful of our reaction to anger and not let anger control us.
How do we do this? Not by the suppression of anger, most certainly not by the denial that we are angry; but by understanding anger as an emotion.
And, emotions are always trying to communicate something to us.
Our bodies are designed to feel, once we understand what we are feeling and why; we are able to move forward in a way that allows us to be connected to ourselves. The disconnection from our feelings (even those that society presently considers “bad”) causes a disconnect in our bodies. We need to learn what we are feeling and why, therefore allowing us to respond (not react) to the situation that caused it. Anger is a big communicator as it is almost always the surface level emotion (meaning others lie below it), once we know how to work with our anger we are able to understand what it is trying to move inside of us, what it is trying to bring to our awareness, and ultimately how to move past it so it does not sit in our cells as a charged emotion, causing potential health issues in the body-mind complex.
What is anger?
Let’s start with the definition of anger. Anger can be defined as “the strong feeling you have when something has happened that you think is bad or unfair” (Oxford Learners Dictionary)
It is viewed as an intense negative emotion, that can scale from mild upset to full on rage (this is when anger turns into aggression). Anger is the feeling, that we experience after certain events.
Feeling means that one has to feel it in their body. If you suppress it or deny it; you will not acknowledge it. If you do not acknowledge it; on some level you will not react in a healthy and regulated way, and that emotion will remain in your body.
An emotion can also be viewed from a quantum perspective as an energy, so emotions in effect can be viewed as an energy in motion until it is no longer in motion (suppressed, denied, avoided). When no longer in motion, it stagnates, and we get an energetic build up, this build-up will, over time manifests, physically, so it is imperative that we understand how to properly and in a healthy manner feel and process our emotions so we can avoid that energetic build-up and the potential of a state of dis-ease in the body.
Example: You are a new mother, every new mother knows the total overwhelm that comes with this, the new you that was birthed in the process of birthing a child and the flood of postpartum hormones that come along with the birth and tend to stick around a little longer than we are told. In addition, the pressure to allow family to see the child numerous times and have tea and coffee readily available. Your aunt pops by (short notice) and stays longer than was welcome. Your experience is one of irritation and anxiety, topped with some anger. Why? Your body is saying no, it is too much too soon, the time doesn’t suit, you are still getting the hang of motherhood, your post surgery body is sore and so forth. But what do you do? “Yes sure Aunt Mae, see you then.” (This is referred to as good girl conditioning, the need to please and be permissive, a large scale societal conditioning that has done nothing more than harm women’s physical and mental health over years). It is very possible (and should be an absolute) to be polite and respectful but firm, setting specific boundaries.
Going back to anger. Once boundaries’ have been pushed a bit, this nervous energy, exhausting pent up heated state of your nervous system is telling you to say no. If we lean into the wisdom of that anger, we can see what it is telling us. In this case, speak up and stand up for yourself. This is a very common theme in motherhood, and if not addressed early on the body will take toll. This can cause a possible build up of resentment inside your body, the lack of listening to your body’s cues can create a state of disconnect, disharmony and ultimately the prime energetic field for the manifestation of possible dis –ease.
Note: the aim is to see anger as a messenger, in relation to a situation/event/person so you can deal with it and ultimately release it so it does not sit in your physical body. The body is made up of quantum energy fields and anger as an emotion vibrates a bit higher than the dense physical body – this anger sitting in your cells and body’s quantum field can over time affect your physical cells. In viewing anger as a gift, you can identify it’s purpose and effect change in the situation that caused the anger. You do not take on that feeling so it becomes you (and your body). An exercise I do with my clients is to visualise the scenario then visualise a letter with the word anger on it, being given to them from the scenario. This forms a visual in their mind of anger as something is motion, that is affecting them so they do not become that feeling. We then work from there to determine what needs to be done.
How is anger beneficial to us?
In theory it is really simple; in practice it’s a layered answer.
1. Anger pushes you to confront a situation, you may have otherwise let lie. Anxiety will keep you in a meek state when you don’t feel like you can say much, but anger can push you to confront the person and say “enough is enough, this is your line do not overstep”. This is a really good thing as it helps in the following ways.
a. You get your power back by standing up for yourself, it contributes to the improvement of your self confidence and self worth.
b. You stand your ground so those trying to push you cannot, this sets a standard so going forward in terms of how you are treated.
c. You quite literally and energetically take your energy back and this eventually contributes to a stronger energy system and in time a sterner immune system.
d. It pushes you to make a physical change. For example, you are pushed to look for new work etc. This would have otherwise never happened if the situation had not arisen pushing you to find new avenues and change direction in your life.
2. Saves you from creating an environment in your body where you harbour this anger and it affects your overall health
Anger and your body
Anger can also be considered the emotional element of the flight or fight response. Your body heats up, you experience shallow breathing, a racing heart and adrenaline rush. These are responses in your nervous system (physiological) as a result of the emotion, anger. All emotions have a physiological response as they have a vibration which affects the body in some way, shape or form.
One of the most useful resources in the Map of Consciousness by Dr. David Hawkins. Anger lies at a 175 energetic log (a measurement of the energetic vibration of that emotion). We go through a flow of emotions in one day so dipping to 175 as part of our cyclical ebb and flow is no harm to our overall health, however staying there and accepting that as semi-permanent state into our cells is damaging. We (our cells) then start to vibrate lower as this (anger) becomes a very prominent emotion and vibration in our body. Vibrations affect one another so that vibration (175 energetic log) can and will affect the other parts of the body. Think of this; you walk into a room and someone is very angry, you walk out exhausted from his or her anger. Same principle, the transference of energy from one person to another, the same thing happens in the body; cell to cell, organ to organ.
When your overall body vibrates lower – the cell turnover and mitochondria output of energy is lower, the immune system is not as efficient as it usually is, the cellular walls of the cells may become more preamble and so it goes on. There are numerous studies showing the reduction in ones physical health as a result of harbouring negative emotions, one of the largest reasons (not the only one) is because it sits at a certain vibration in the body, and that affects the body as a whole. (the body is a sum of its part, physically and energetically).
Denial is one of the most common coping mechanisms when it comes to anger. This could be for a variety of reasons, we can deny anger as we do not want to face the issue, we have been taught to not trust ourselves and our feelings, anger is socially not acceptable, we fear the consequences when we are angry and so forth. It is the way we deal with anger that is the key here. Denial or suppression will create two or three layers of low vibrating emotions sitting in the body’s quantum field, which as previously discussed can manifest and “drop down” to our physical less dense (lower vibrating) bodies over time.
How do we deal with anger in the body
Anger is a normal human emotion, no need to get rid of it or vilify it but do not become it and try learn from it.
Make friends with your anger, at worst you won’t let it control you and at best you will understand that is guides you to effect changes in your life (more often than not beautiful ones) that you may not have otherwise made if you were not pushed.
In a body talk session, we are able to gain an in depth understanding of what the emotions are that sit in the body and how the body has absorbed these emotions and the experiences surrounding the emotions. In short, where the energy in motion has stopped moving, and what the implication is for the body and mind over all.
Everybody is different, bodies a different energetic blueprint, different pathways that have or have not developed over time as a result of individual experiences and different ways of managing these experiences. While an in depth understanding of yourself is a very good option, there are a few general suggestions in moving forward with your anger:
Sit with the feeling. Do no intellectualise it, feel it to heal it
It is ok to be angry, it is not ok to react in a way that is harmful to you or others from your anger. Learn the difference
Learn to notice your body’s reaction to anger, get to know your body and it’s sensations so you feel the anger arising. This will allow you to a.) reconnect to your body and b.) preempt the emotion so are less reactive
Constantly remind yourself that the anger is not you, it is the messenger. Train your brain, as often as you can (when the situation arises) and over time. Use your mental energy to your advantage so it works for you and for your emotions and not against them. Using it against you would look like suppressing emotions and intellectualising them. As discussed this adds a new layer of lower vibrations around your body and creates further disruptions in the body mind complex
Somatic exercises. Trapped emotions lie in the body, suppressed anger is held in your nervous system and very much associated with the liver. Movement is a great way to move that out. Research online, call around and chat to people to see what is available to you in your area and then select a modality based on what you feel resonates with what your body needs.
Read more from Veronica di Muro Merchak
Veronica di Muro Merchak, Holistic Trauma Specialist
Veronica has a unique approach to trauma as Holistic Trauma Specialist. She combines her personal experience, her academic qualifications, her professional experience, and her in depth intuitive understanding of people to help them navigate their individual situations. An important focus of hers, is to empower her clients so they understand how trauma was received by their individual body and above all; how it is possible to move forward, in an unapologetic and gracefully powerful way.
